


Child's Play

by sketzocase



Category: All New Wolverine, Dark Wolverine (Comics), Wolverine (Comics), X-23 (Comic), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Comedy, F/M, I mean Romulus is a bit of a dick, Imaginary Friends, Logan being a dick, M/M, Past Abuse, Prostitution, Slight mental issues, Smut, also a drama, as an adult- not so cute
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 14:05:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 59,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11533794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sketzocase/pseuds/sketzocase
Summary: Imaginary friends. Children have them. Even children who are training to be assassins, apparently. When Laura won't drop a subject of interest and goes digging into Daken's past- hilarity ensues. Leaving Daken left  with a figure from his past that well... never really actually existed. Technically. And however cute it may be at seven... does not translate well when one reaches seventy-seven.





	1. What's in the booooxxxxxxxx??????

**Author's Note:**

> So.... a co work the other day told me that the actor from "Drop Dead Fred" had died. I was devasted. And well.. this happened. And.... well yea. There's really no excuse. 
> 
> Random funny touching on real issues. Cuz why not. 
> 
> Enjoy! 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

The compound is located in the mountains of Japan. Hidden behind several walls and inconspicuous land marks.

I know the path like the back of my hand. Literally. It’s been ingrained into me over the decades.

People almost never found it back in the day. If they did then they were dealt with in a unwaveringly fatal manner.

It was odd for even animals to find it. Though- admittedly as far as the food supply went- A deer or two wandering in could have been quite useful.

S.H.I.E.L.D finding it isn’t odd, however, seeing as I helped them.

Part of my ‘new year new me’ kind of deal.

They call me up-  
Wait, wait. ‘They’ didn’t call me up. ‘She’ called me up.  
And ‘They’ve’ pretty much found out that I’ll do just about anything for her.  
She saved my life. I owe her.

Plus she’s doing such a wonderful job as Wolverine. And now even that’s been put to shit. She has nothing.  
Laura put a lot effort into finding this place with her newly found government pals.

For whatever good it did her.

Romulus’ involvement is forever reaching. They didn’t understand that when last I told them.

I guess they wanted this compound because it focused on training. Hence my knowing it so well. I was raised here.

Literally. This was home. Coming back to its stone walls and dimly lit hallways seems kind of… fucked up.

Here I return… not what he made me. Not what they want me to be- sure. But definitely not what he made me. In his eyes, I’m sure I could stand another hundred rounds in the rooms housed in the belly of this place.  
That is if he was here. A part of me was half way hoping he would be. But Alas. No luck.

I haven’t seen him in years. Half of me is tempted to check my old contacts- the people I could always go to when we were separated and I needed him urgently. Who knows if those people are still alive- though? He changed contacts every few years. The olds one are either dead or too afraid to talk. He’s good like that.  
Making impressions- that is.  
Fuck did he make one of me.  
On me and apparently on a few random S.H.I.E.L.D agents. Hence the sudden urgency to ‘discover more’.

Their intel sucks. They know nothing. It was actually kind of disheartening to see how little effort they put into this. In actuality, it’s a fairly interesting story once you put the pieces together.

Him not being here has made it rather dull. No fighting.

Just clues. Clues on top of clues. Oh, look at the bad things he’s done. Fuck. What did they expect? He’s old. You live to be his age and you’ve done a great many bad things. I don’t know how he was when he was young young- just younger. To my knowledge, he’s always been a bit of an asshole.

Maybe Logan knows more. I shudder to ask however lest it lead to ‘bonding’. The last thing I want to do is ‘bond’ with him. He’s the reason Laura’s in the current turmoil she is.

She doesn’t hate him. I hate him- but she refuses to.

“Logan’s return is a good thing, Daken. I’m happy he’s okay.” She says. “Why don’t you talk to him?” She asks. “Why don’t you spend some time together?”

Why don’t I put a bullet through my forehead? Why don’t I eat glass? Get cancer? Be toxic? Dive into biological sludge?

The answer, my friend, is in the question.

He showed up here, of all places. I’ve actively avoided him. Every time I get even a whiff of him- I’m gone. I know this place better than all of them. I know how to hide.

Romulus hated my hiding spots. Every time he found one- I’d make three more. Some I’m sure he didn’t find until I was brainwashed and told him. It surprises people to hear, I’m sure, that I wasn’t always obedient. I fought as much as a child can be expected to fight.

Romulus hated that.

Last I heard he’d escaped some kind of underwater prison. I personally haven’t heard from him- but what little does that account for? He doesn’t like me at the moment. I doubt, honestly, if he ever did. Alls well that ends well, I suppose.

I’m walking down the dark, barely lit stone hallways when someone pats my shoulder. “You did a good thing today, kid.”

Fuck. I forgot to scent the hallway. I have nowhere to hide at the moment.

I stiffen. “Thank you.” It takes a lot not to break that hand.

“Thank you.” He pats my shoulder again. “I never would have found this place.”

“Yes well... Laura didn’t tell me she was bringing you.” I stop walking. “If she had- you still wouldn’t have found it.”

“Think she’s expecting a little friction,” Logan says, pulling his mask off and running a hand through his hair. “Hot as hell in here.” He mutters.

“Imagine that.” Hell is a good description for this place if memory serves. But hey- nothing beats home- Am I right?

He nods. “Found some stuff in his…. throne room?” He pauses. “Is that what he called it?”

“Something like that.” I acknowledge.

Throne room- war room- place of worship… it’s all the same. It doesn’t matter what he calls it.

“Some of it had to do with you,” Logan says lowly.

“Fancy that.” I don’t care.

He nods. “I’m pocketing it…. I'll make sure it’s seen sparingly.”

“Protecting me- are you?”

He nods. “It’s pretty… detailed.”

“So you think it’s okay for you to read it?” I snarl.

“ It’s evidence, son.” Logan crosses his arms. “I’m just making sure it’s seen as such and not as gossip.”

“Good evidence is always gossip.” I dismiss. “I don’t like you having it any more than I like the thought of them having it.”

“…. You wanna talk about it?”

I snort. “With you?”

He pauses. “You’d prefer Laura?”

“I prefer neither.” I chuckle. “If it’s ‘detailed’ than I don’t think it should be read.”

“Some of what he did to you-“

“See that?” I interrupt, pointing at him, “That is why you shouldn’t have it. Don’t use it as a segway to talk to me. I don’t care that you know what he did and I sure as hell don’t want to talk to you about it.”

Logan shrugs. “Hill wants you to give us a tour.” He jerks a thumb back in the direction I just came from. “Think you can do that?”

I sigh. “I suppose.”

God forbid he actually fight with me. At least he’s dropped his findings for the moment. I know Romulus kept extensive notes on what occurred during my raising. He never hid it. He never apologized for it. It’s all compiled into a leather bound book or two. Or three. OR four. Fuck. I hate to think he found all of them. he probably didn’t. The question is- why did Romulus have it out so recently. Surely he wasn’t planning on contacting me.

The compound didn’t have as much dust as it should have. It’s been visited within the last few months. There are still stains in the kitchen from meals. Food found in one of the refrigerators.

Someone has been here. No clue as to whom, however. Romulus never left a scent if he could help it.

“Don’t leave any rooms out,” Logan says. “We need a map of this place.”

“Of course, of course.” I drawl. “I’d hate for your very limited intel to be incomplete.”

They never even officially told me what the mission was here. Or what they were really trying to find out. They just knew I was the man for the job. I’ve tried to use what information I have sparingly. Lest I give something away that I shouldn’t at the time. But not knowing why they’re really here makes that hard. I’ve been using my own sources, however, and think I’ve avoided a few land mines, as it were. If they told me what they were and weren’t looking for, I’m sure I could be more helpful. However, I’m not to be trusted. Not fully.

I’m sure there’s a telepath or two on hand making sure I’m telling the truth when I interact with the great commander Hill.

A woman running S.H.I.E.L.D is a nice change. I know very little about her, however. As such I don’t know what angle to use when I interact with her. So the telepath’s job would be very easy. I move with caution in all things. Especially here, of all places.

Why am I doing this, you ask?

Pardon. Keeping S.H.I.E.L.D off my back and out of my business.

They can’t really pin anything on me, to begin with….. but I don’t want to see them try.

This puts an end to it before it can begin.

“Report back to the entrance.” Logan orders. “Give them a walk through from top to bottom.”

“Top to bottom?” I question.

“We know there’s a bottom layer.”

Ah.

“Operative found the stairs in the kitchen.”

Not that they were hidden that well. Just well enough for an average observer to not know where they were. Personally, I haven’t visited them yet. They just lead to the living compartments. That’s all the bottom floor is. Romulus’ quarters. Mine. His followers. I think Wild Child had a room with us for a few decades now that I’m remembering. I may be mistaken.

“How observant of them,” I comment dryly.

“Whats down there?” Logan asks. I start to make my way towards the door.

“Rooms.”

Logan falls into step beside. “What kind?”

“The kind for sleeping.”

“Oh.”

“You were expecting something more sinister?”

He nods. “Yeah. I guess I was.” Those rooms could be sinister in ways Logan wouldn’t like to hear about. Not just for me- either. Romulus had many guests of the female persuasion gifted to him by people seeking deals.

It’s amazing what a man will do for power. I should know. I’m a man that desires great power from time to time.

“Sorry to disappoint.” My comment couldn’t be any more detached.

“You gonna be okay showing them his room?” He asks lowly.

I turn on my heel, jabbing a finger into his chest. “Stop it,” I growl. “Stop now or I swear to god I will wound you in ways that you can’t even begin to imagine.”

Logan holds his hands skywards. “I asked a question.” He says gently. “I know what-“

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.” I jab him again. “I mean it. This is the last time you bring it up. Got it? Last time. Ever.”

Logan stares at me. “There’s nothing shameful-“

“STOP IT!” I yell at him.

We’re standing by the entrance now, and people are staring.

“Just because he-“

I unsheathe my claws and drive them through his chest. I don’t know how well his healing factor is working. I’d find it just as well if he stayed dead.

An agent walks over very carefully and takes his pulse.

I can see the wounds healing through his hideous yellow uniform.

“He’ll live,” I growl. “Unfortunately.”

“The two of you would make a hell of a team.” A woman says from behind me. “If you could get along for more than five minutes.”

“We can’t.” I look over my shoulder. “I’m to give you a tour?”

“You’re to give us a tour.” She motions to Logan. “We’ll have to wait until he can move.”

“How about I give you a tour and then you pass the knowledge to him?” I offer.

“We need your input on the rooms as we go through,” Hill says. “We wait.”

“You’re not my commander, Hill,” I growl. “I’m doing this as a favor.”

The tan skinned woman smiles. “And we’re all very grateful.” She says. “However, you’ve just stabbed my operative. That doesn’t look good for you.”

“Your operative is my father,” I growl. “I can stab him anytime I want.”

Hill chuckles. “Family reunions must be a blast.”

“You could see it that way.” A new voice joins us.

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing him.” I turn to Laura, still dressed in her Wolverine get up. The black one this time.

“I figured you’d be … hesitant to share this part of your past with him.” Laura says. “I was right.” She motions to Logan. “He lasted ten minutes. If that.”

The man on the ground starts to groan and sit up.

“I know,” I smirk. “It’s a new record for me.”

Hill puts her hands on her hips. “You should work on that.”

“You’re right.” I agree. “I should have gutted him as soon as he spoke.”

“Not what-“

“He knows what you mean- trust me.” Logan interrupts. “He just doesn’t care.”

Hill’s a tallish woman. Short hair. Dark eyes. Something that screams ‘interesting’. She’s pretty- but its’ average pretty. Compared to some of her ‘operatives’ she looks a little plain. If she weren’t standing next to heroines who have a knack for looking a little on the modely side of things, she’d do fine- I’m sure.

The fact that she’s made it to her current position, I find interesting. There’s a story there. A good one, I’d bet. I also bet she wouldn’t be willing to tell me. I haven’t earned that right. I wonder what would happen if I put on a show for her. If I acted upset every time we went into a room.

‘This is the training room *sob* So horrible. So garish. *sob* I need a minute.’

We’d get nothing done and it would be quite interesting.

Laura puts a gloved hand on my shoulder. “Thank you for cooperating.” She says. I glance her over. Her mask shields her eyes, I can’t read them. her mouth is friendly enough though.

It makes me want to keep cooperating. For her sake. She needs this. I know she does. With Logan back, her job title is on the line. She needs every bit of help she can get. What sibling would I be if I denied her this?

“Just give me a heads up if you’re bringing company next time,” I smirk. “I’ll know to decline the invitation.”

“Anyone ever tell you that you could benefit from therapy?” Logan asks.

“Therapy??” I laugh so hard that I’m bent at the waist. “Coming from you???” It’s hilarious.

“It’s not that funny,” Logan growls.

Laura snickers. “It’s a little funny.”

Logan glares at her. “I’m being serious. He could talk to someone about this shit. That way he wouldn’t be stabbing me every time I turn around.” He turns his attention back to me. “Shit hurts.”

I manage to quiet my laughter and straighten back up.

“Really think the two of you should resolve some of these issues.” Hill comments. “However, we don’t have time for it now. Daken, give us the tour. Top to bottom. Leave no stone unturned.”

Right. Back to business.

The room we’re standing in - the entrance hall- is large. Twenty-foot ceilings. Some kind of banner draped down the walls- something you would see in a palace. Romulus always claimed that he was at one point and Emperor. I don’t know if that’s true or not… but fuck does he act like it is. And he sells himself with such confidence that I’m more inclined to believe it’s true then think it’s false.

The hall is lit by florescent overhead lights that run down in two rows in the very center of the ceiling. To the right side of the room is a hallway that houses the kitchen, the training rooms, meeting rooms, and eventually the dungeon.

Yes. he has one of those. It’s not pleasant by any stretch of the imagination.

The entrance hall was used to greet guests. Usually, he would stand in the doorway surrounded by two or three of his operatives- when I got older, me- and it would be a politely tense standoff.

One I think would be fun to recreate.

However- I promised them a tour. And a tour they shall have.

I stand in our little circle and hold my arms out. “The entrance hall.”

“Yes?” Hill asks, looking around in polite boredom. I can see she’s trying to gather intel and finding it rather dull. Something I’m sure the actual COMMANDER of S.H.I.E.L.D shouldn’t have been bothered with. I guess they brought her thinking they’d run into him.

That’s pointless. He probably has people on the inside, so he knew they’d be coming here. Gave him plenty of time to pack it in and move it out.

They should be checking their people- that’s for sure. I wonder if I should tell her that. Or, if - and this is more likely - I just let her find it out herself.

“Used to enter the base.” I raise an eyebrow. Apparently, I’m going to have to break this down for them step by step. Annoying- yes. But not exactly unexpected.

Logan exhales loudly. “Son.”

“What? It’s used for entering the base. Does it look like anything remotely interesting could happen in this room?” I glare at him. “And don’t call me ‘son’.”

“You are my son.” He says. “

Other people don’t need to know that.”  
Logan sighs almost comically.

“Boys.” Hill says, “Let’s not argue.”

Let’s not. She’s got a point. It’s pointless to fight with him.

“So the entrance room.” Laura picks up the conversation. “It’s big.”

That’s what she wants to note?

“He had some bigger … guests.” I try to put it mildly. Ever seen a giant before? I have. I was all of nine. It was terrifying.

“Used for everyone or just guests?” Hill asks.

“For guests.” I correct. “Aren’t you a smart cookie.”

“He’s of ancient Roman decent- am I correct?”

“To my knowledge and upbringing.” I agree.

“Then he wouldn’t let just anyone enter through the front door.”

That he would not. In fact, it felt odd leading them through the front door. I almost used the side entrance.

“Where did operatives enter?” She asks.

“Through the kitchen.” I nod to a door sitting off to the right of this room.

“Why?” Laura asks.

“Operatives were like servants and worshipers. They don’t use the main door.” I say simply.

“Worshipers?” Logan says.

How wonderful for the two of them to join us. I can’t see their questions being annoying in the slightest. I start to move us to the kitchen.

The kitchen is large. Five stoves. Copious amounts of counter space. A large, overly large actually, sink. A dishwasher- that’s recent. I wonder when he got that. Five freezers. One refrigerator. All types of pots and pans hanging from a white rack on the wall behind the stoves. A large array of spices labeled and set out on one of the counters. In the center of the room is a large island with a few counters sparsely placed around it.

He never ate in here. I often did as a child when I wasn’t allowed to eat with the adults. My ‘nanny’ would take me to the kitchens and the cook would make something I desired. I liked those nights. I liked them a lot. I missed the feast and the festivities. I would hear them all night. Older people partaking in carnal sins that I couldn’t even dream of. But those nights were nice. I was fed. And washed. And put to bed. Like a normal child. Sometimes it felt nice to be normal.

The kitchen is rather clean. Not really that dusty. The dishwasher still has dishes in it. There’s still a bottle of dish soap in the sink. Someone’s been here. Someone who knew what they were doing.

Very nice. His latest cook must have run this shit very professionally. He would have liked that.

“Some people saw him as a god.” I lead them to the kitchen and lean against the island in the middle. Cool marble greets my hands. “Kitchen.” I motion with my left hand. “Self-explanatory.”

Hill crosses her arms. “It’s been used recently.”

“As in within the last few months,” Logan adds.

“Imagine that. He’s at large and his kitchen’s been in use. The clues are really coming together for you- aren’t they?”

The group glares at me.

I move from the island to the ‘hidden’ stairwell that’s in the small hallway to the back of the kitchen.

“Living quarters,” I announce, taking the stairs two at a time and cutting on the lights as I go.

The corridor is carpeted, the only place in the compound that is, and brightly lit. Doors line the walls, each about three feet from each other save the last one which is set about ten feet from the rest with a slightly bigger door. “I can only imagine the room you want to focus on,” I say dryly.

“All of them, actually,” Hill says crisply. “We’ll just go down the row.”

“Be my guest.”

And so it starts. One room. The next. The next.

We get to my room, and I pause in the doorway.

“Well?” Logan asks.

“Well, what?” I turn to him.

“Whose room?” He questions- like he has for all the others.

“Mine,” I say simply. I pause. “Well, one of mine. This was mine as a child.”

Laura is the first in. “Your childhood bedroom.” She says. “How interesting.”

The room isn’t much to look at. A desk topped with books covered in dust. A dresser. A closet full of old clothes and shoes. Child sized. To the right of the doorway is a box of toys. Something I’d forgotten was there. Such a valid piece of my history- just laying here. Home. I’m home. And home feels weird. This room feels weird. I don’t necessarily like it.

To the left of the toy box is a matt, laying on the floor. It served as my bed for several years. Tiny little pad. Blue. Looking gray under all that dust. Not as much dust as you would think- however. He saw fit as an adult to make me sleep in here when he thought I was being childish. There was something… degrading about it. Usually, housekeeping kept it clean. I never understood why. Decades upon decades and it was cleaned- but never cleaned out. No one else was ever put in there. I was the last child Romulus ‘raised’. I suppose he hasn’t had time to pick a new one and start his efforts a new.

This room has a certain weight to it. A strange... tugging feeling.

“Toys?” Logan nudges a box with his boot.

“Toys.” I nod.

Laura digs in the box and pulls out a stuffed rabbit. “Cute.”

“This is very interesting and all-“

“Shush.” Laura cuts Hill off. “I want to explore little Daken’s bedroom.” She toys with the rabbit in her hands. “Does he have a name?”

“No,” I say stiffly.

“Did little Daken give him a name?”

“Perhaps. It was a while ago, however. We are very different.”

“Finding out about little Daken can lead to us finding out more about big Daken,” Laura says with a smile. “Thank you for sharing this with us.”

‘Little’ Daken wasn’t much of anything. There won’t be much to explore.

She holds the rabbit and digs through the chest some more. “Swords? Katanas. Throwing stars. Are these fake?”

“No.” I lean against the wall.

She moves to the desk. “Books…. sketchbooks… You used to draw?”

I nod. “Once upon a time.”

“Note book….” She picks it up, blowing the dust off. “A journal?”

The hand writing is awful from what I can see.

“Might be good evidence,” Logan says quietly.

I turn on him. “You are not using anything in this room as evidence.”

“The journal could come in handy,” Hill says just as quietly as Logan did. “How many years does it cover?”

“Seven through fourteen,” Laura announces, reading the front cover. “What happened at fourteen that made you stop writing?”

Hmmm…..

“Bootcamp,” I recall.

“At fourteen?” Logan scoffs.

“At fourteen.” I nod.

And brain washing… but he doesn’t need to know that.

Everyone is quiet as Laura leafs through the pages. “Who’s Li?”

“Li?”

She nods. “The book- Li is all over it. We don’t have any mention of a Li in any of our other evidence.”

“Li… hmm…” Li was… invisible.

No not just invisible. Imaginary.

An imaginary friend. Sue me. I was a child.

“Li was… not real.” I settle for breaching the topic carefully.

“Not real?” Logan moves over to Laura and looks at the book.

“Imaginary.” I try.

“You had an imaginary friend?” Logan is smiling.

“Yes. I was a child. I did child things.” I snap. “Can we go?”

“It says Li lived in a box.” Laura’s Japanese is better than I thought it was. “Where’s his box?”

“I don’t know.” I grouse. “Romulus probably took it. When things annoyed him, he removed them from me and put them somewhere else.”

“Romulus didn’t like Li.” Laura glances up at me. “He made him angry.”

“Romulus didn’t like it when I behaved as a child- no.” I agree. “So ‘Li’ was not his favorite of people.”

Not mention all the trouble we got into now that I’m recalling it.

“He took Li’s box?” Laura frowns. “That seems cruel.”

She continues to flip through the book.

“It says Li was some kind of … ghost.”

“A story I made up,” I growl. “Are you done? It’s embarrassing. Let’s move forward.”

“Li sounds like fun.” Laura continues.

“Laura,” I groan. “I’m done here.”

“What? He was apparently a large part of your childhood.” She grins. “Don’t you want to remember him?”

“Li was a ghost who no one else could see and he would play with me after training and missions,” I say in monotone. “Romulus didn’t like him because I would do what he told me to do and it often led to giant messes around the compound that someone would have to clean up and that I would have to be punished for. I always told him Li did it and I always got the shit beat out of me. So this isn’t a funny or a cute story. It’s painful. So drop it.”

“What about the bunny?” Laura asks, unfazed by my rant. “Does he have a name?”

“Are we done???” I groan. “Really! What can you find in here??? This room hasn’t been used for decades! There are literally no clues! All you’re doing is embarrassing me!”

“Come on, son.” Logan laughs. “Give us some time. We’re getting to know you.”

“You’re not getting to know me- you’re judging me based off a person I no longer am. So can we go now?”

Laura holds the rabbit out to me. “Usa? The rabbit.” She reads from the book. “It did have a name.” It’s black and white, floppy ears. A nanny bought it for me- I think. The first one. I was young. ‘Usa’ helped me sleep after they beat the shit out of me. It was like a bandage. “You named it Usa. So rabbit the rabbit. How creative of you.”

I don’t like her touching the rabbit.

“Bunny.” Logan smiles. “Usa- means bunny, not rabbit. He was young.”

“Awh, so sweet.” Hill smiles. “Your imaginary friend and your bunny. Big bad ol’ Daken has a soft side.”

“I was a child. What part of that can I not get you people to understand?? I’m not going through your old bedrooms and playing with your discarded play things and-“

“There are bloody hand prints on your floor.” Laura cuts me off. “Child sized. Recent.”

How odd. “But the bed is dusty,” Logan says. “No one’s been in here.”

“The blood is fresh,” Hill remarks.

“He’s had a child here,” I mumble. He must have punished them for coming into my room…. I wonder why it was off limits….. how odd. Even for Romulus.

“Which child?” Logan asks.

“Could be anyone,” I say. “Any little-lost orphan of his choosing.”

“We have to find him,” Hill says. “Before he hurts that boy.”

“You assume it’s a him?”

“Intel says Romulus only trained boys….. would fit with his Roman roots.”

It would. That is true.

“We should go,” I announce. “There’s still a lot of ground to cover.”

The other three agree but remain standing.

“Can I keep Usa?” Laura asks.

“What? Why?” I’m thrown.

“It doesn’t seem to belong in a chest full of weapons and a room full of blood. I like it. I want to take it with me.”

I mean… “Sure.” I’m a little off put. “Take it.”

She nods. “It’s really cute, Daken.”

“I don’t care what you think it is Laura.” I snap.

“This has been very entertaining,” Hill drawls, “but not helpful in the slightest.”

“Entertaining for you- maybe.” I don’t feel so good. “I did not find this entertaining in the slightest.”

“Relax, son.” Logan pats my shoulder. “We’re done now. No one is going to pick on you.”

“Fuck you.” I snap.

“ Three rooms left, gentlemen. Do you think you can hold off on the violence until we’ve cleared them?”

Logan and I mumble our agreements.

The room’s thrown me. I’ll admit that.

The look into my adult room isn’t nearly as upsetting. It reminds me that I’ve got clothing here. Nice clothing. I take it out of the closet and shove it in one of my many bags under the bed. No one stops me. It’s mine.  
I don’t want anyone else wearing it. When we get to the final room, I think they’re all a bit bored- to be honest.

At least no one’s busting my balls.

The last room brings an amount of … respect from me. You respect your master’s quarters. You are privileged to be there. It is an honor. I fight the urge to kneel at the doorway. Or, at the very least, knock.

I drop my bags at the door. No bags in here. No weapons. Never draw your claws. Never use your pheromones. Master is in control at all times. At ALL times. This is a place of worship.

Part of me feels bad bringing these people in here. I think they should go…. But that doesn’t make sense. It’s just been ingrained into me over the years.

“You paused,” Laura says very quietly, into my ear.

“I’m supposed to kneel,” I whisper back.

“I wouldn’t.” She says.

I nod, pushing the door open. It was slightly ajar anyway. I’m guessing he didn’t think to lock it when he left.

His rooms are…lavish. Large. Cloth draped over the bed in large quantities. Large. There’s a word. Everything is large. The bed. Custom made. Large enough to hold him and any ‘guests’ he deems worthy.

The room is dimly lit by means of floor lamps on the right side, and windows on the left. Red curtains are drawn over the windows, keeping the light out. It’s about two in the afternoon. It’s a good bit sunny outside. The curtains are thick. He would often sleep until the late afternoon after a few days of being up or traveling. I remember liking those days because it meant I got to sleep too.

One one side of the room there’s a large table- long, wide. It houses several maps of different countries and provinces.  
Usually, there’d be a great number of folders consisting of plans. I’m not surprised to see that they’re not here at this time. Like he would leave them out.

On the other side of the room is another room entirely that serves as a closet. He amassed a lot of clothing over the years. On yet another side of the room- which is shaped like an octagon now that I’m looking at it- is a large amount of collected items spaced out over shelves and pedestals.  
My company walks around, starting to shift through things in no time. I take a moment to stare at the bed. It’s just as I remember it. Right down to the comforter with its red and golds. The pattern is sewn into my memory.

“You can wait outside,” Logan says behind me. “We could call you in if we needed you…. I mean if it’s too much-“

“I will stab you again.” I growl.

Logan sighs. “I’m just saying-“

“Stop it.” I turn on him. “Stop it. I will not bond with you over this. We will not talk about this. It will cease to be important right…… now.” I glare at him, daring him to bring it up again.

“Son-“

“Look!” Laura says from the side of the room with the pedestals. “It’s Li’s box!”

I groan. “That is not-“

“Yes, it is.” she comes over with a small black obsidian box lined with emeralds. I got the box from a dignitary who happened to be into little boys. Like.. little little boys. Like me. He gifted me the box… I think it had chocolate in it originally. I literally was encouraged to take candy from a pedophile. That’s how fucked up my up bringing was. “It’s just what the journal described it as.” I notice she’s still got said journal tucked under her arms.

I look at the box… and she’s right. It is the ‘box of wonders’.

“Why would he keep it?” Logan asks.

“It was expensive.” I take the box from Laura and show it to my father. “Real emeralds. Decent sized ones, too.”

“It’s a nice... box.”

The room gets a little hot.

“He took Li and locked him back in his box and then took his box!” Laura says happily. “And now you have the box!”

“Laura,” I say lowly. “Li is not real. Li was imaginary. I made him up. I put him in this box because it was the only thing I had that he could live in. Li is not in this box. Romulus did not ‘take him’. He just made me stop playing.”

“Then open the box,” Laura says.

I feel weird. Like that would be a bad idea. “I’m not opening the box,” I growl. “I don’t have to prove to you that a figment of my seven-year-old imagination, seventy some years ago, isn’t really. It’s not. Let it go.”

“Then open the box.” She repeats.

“Laura-“

She takes it. “I’ll open it.”

“Listen-“

“Look at this,” Hill says from her side of the room. “It’s folders… stashed in the floor boards.” Romulus room has wood floors. I knew he would often hide things behind other things. Leaving them in the floor seems a little careless.

“Plans…..” Logan walks over and joins her. “Fuck. Lots of plans.”

“Weapon X plans,” Hill says. “I didn’t know it was still operational.”

“Neither did I,” Logan says lowly, leafing through the pages in the folder.

Laura stands there with my journal, my rabbit, and my box. I don’t know what to make of her today.

“Open the box.” She says lowly. “Please.”

“Why is this so important to you???” I snap.

“What if Li is a ghost!” She says. “You can set him free!”

“Li is imaginary!!” I growl in exasperation.

“Look, Laura,” Logan calls her over. “It talks about Gabby.”

“It talks about what?” Laura’s attention is stolen in a flash. She takes the box and walks over to Logan. “That monster.” She says after a few moments.

I’m glad she’s dropped the box.

It made me feel weird.

Li was fake. I remember our time together with some fondness- true. But mainly I remember the trouble I got into because of him. It’s not a can of worms I want to open up right now. Not with Logan so close- at any rate.

“Why would he want Gabby?”

“Look here, Laura,” Logan says. “It sounds like he already had Gabby.”

Fuck.  
Poor thing.

“Fucked up,” Hill says. “This guy's worse than I thought.”

That’s a laugh. “Guess your intel was really shit then,” I smirk. “He’s a monster. Through and through.” A small voice inside my head makes me think ‘and so am I’.  
But I’m not really. Laura walks back over with the box, the rabbit, and the book.

“Why do you have all of that?” I ask with a groan.

“It’s important.” She says defensively.

“In what universe!?”

“In this one.” She nods. “It’s very important to keep mementos from your past.”

“Those aren’t from your past though. They’re from mine. And I do not want them.”

“Then I’ll hold onto them until you do.” She says somewhat childishly.

“Laura stop it,” I growl. “Put those back.”

“No.” She sticks her tongue out at me.

“Then I will put them back.” I snarl, going to take them from her.

“No!” She runs to the other side of the room.

“Hey!” Hill yells over her shoulder. “We’re trying to do actual work here!”

“Tell that to him!” Laura runs to the side of the bed.

I dare not climb into the actual bed to get to her- on the other side.

“Put them back where you found them.” I hiss.

“Make me.” She growls.

“Laura!” I snap. “Put them back!”

“Make me!”

“You two sound like some god damn children.” Logan chuckles.

“Your children, to be more precise.” Hill huffs. “How about exercising some control there, Logan?”

“Fine.” He laughs. “Kids-“

“Give it here!” I finally make up my mind and lunge across the bed, tackling her.

The two of us go down to the floor, me successfully dislodging the items from her grasp.

“Ha!”

She reaches up, and pushes me off of her, rolling me onto my back and yanking the box out of my hands. I yank it back, she yanks it back. We pull tug a war for well over a minute until I grasp it around the lid and pull down- surprising her and pulling it from her hold.

“You’re going to break it!” She cries.

“Good!” I snarl.

“Give it back, Daken!”

“It’s not even yours!”

“Give it back!”

“That’s enough- both of you!” Logan starts pulling on the box, trying to remove it from both of us. I’d rather break it and have it over with. Honestly, I don’t really know why I don’t want her to have it. But I don’t. I don’t want to share this part of my past with her.

“It’s Li’s box!”

“Li is fake you moron!” I snarl.

In return, she elbows me in the face.

“Stop it!” Logan growls, getting fed up with both of us.

“Really.” Hill huffs from across the room. “Does everything end in a fist fight with this family?”

“Yes!!” The three of us answer in unison.

Laura pulls the box back, lowering it towards me to get it away from Logan. I take the moment to grasp it around the lid, leaving the two of them to hold it sideways.

Laura huffs, from her spot on top of me now, and pulls with all her might- tugging the box sideways. Logan pulls it upwards while I pull it down. It ends up upside down with me tugging on the lid, having to do a sit up to get a better hold.

In a span of a very few short seconds, three things happen at once. Laura nudges me in the face with her elbow, making me jerk away, the box the lid opens, and I hit my head on the floor hard enough to black out.

I’m sure in front of the commander of S.H.I.E.L.D we all seem very dignified.

Fuck it all.


	2. Lester- fuck boy number one- and freaking out a cabbie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sex for like a paragraph. 
> 
> Also writing Lester is soooo fun.. but I don't do it often. So yea. Hopefully, he'll show up more in this story. I find him kind of difficult to write for. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! I really enjoy writing this so chapters are gonna be coming out pretty quickly. I don't know how long it's going to be... but yea. Enjoy!
> 
> *edit. Somehow the unedited version of this ended up posted. when ya write at like three in the morning- that'll happen. edits have since been made. Hopefully, it clears up some confusion because I read this chap on mobile at work today and had a serious 'what the fuck did I say?' moment. So sorry for the shitty first run. Promise to be more careful in the future!*

Ugh. What happened?

‘you fought with your sister and busted your little head open. really gross. blood was everywhere. i think i saw your brain. it was icky.’

I bolt up in my seat- hitting my head on the ….ceiling? What the fuck? Why is the ceiling so low?  
Where… where? Okay wait. Calm down. It’s dark.. but there’s the sound of other people. I hit my head- which means I’m under something. Which means if I move forward and duck….

I fall face first onto the floor of the jet… feeling stupid as I hit my head once again. Seems to be my day for it.

‘that’s a lot of logic you used there good buddy. i’m impressed.’

I jolt up, on hands and knees, looking for the voice.  
The jet is dark and silent.

Who the fuck is talking to me??  
Why is this voice so fucking… familiar?

‘everyone’s asleep. let’s go wake them up!’

Oh no, no no. I’m not waking anyone up.

That voice.. where is it coming from?  
‘got a pot or a pan? we can do what we used to do to ana!”

Ana? Who’s Ana?

Who is talking to me??

‘your sister is asleep… we can wake her up! let’s pull her hair! i bet she’d wake up if we did that!’

I am so not pulling Laura’s hair. She hates having her hair messed with. I know this from personal experience. And I’m definitely not doing it because some disembodied voice told me to.

A voice I’ve yet to place as of the moment. I should remedy that.  
‘hide and seek???’ the voice gasps. ‘yes! yes! yes! oh, i want to go first! go hide. i’ll count.’

“I’m not hiding from you.” I growl.

‘oh, your voice got deep!’ The voice says. ‘did your balls drop too?’

What the fuck?

“Whoever you are-“

‘you don’t know who I am? ki ki I’m disappointed in you.”

“Ki Ki?”

‘you forgot your name!?” the voice gasps.

It’s an adult voice. Male. Probably mid-twenties.  
Whoever it is is about to suffer a world of hurt and-

“Who are you talking to?” Laura turns her phone’s flash light on and shines it on me, still on all fours on the floor.

“That voice.” I wince as her light hits my eyes.

“What voice?”

“The one that said I should pull your hair. Surely you heard it.”

Laura shakes her head slowly."Please don't pull my hair." 

"I'm not going to pull your hair. He just told me to." 

Laura stares at me. "Who told you to?" 

“It’s a guy. I’m sure he’s hiding somewhere in the cabin.” I realize we’re on the jet. We must be homeward bound. I can feel a slight amount of turbulence suggesting we’re airborne.

‘she can’t see me. you can’t see me. he can’t see me. let’s have some fun! Tie her boots together! then she’ll trip! it’ll be funny!’

“You uh… don’t hear that?” I ask, unsurely.

“Hear what?” She bends down. “I think you hit your head again.”

She gently prods at my forehead.

"Ah!” I wince.

"Sorry.” She says gently. “I think you hit your head too soon after your original injury.” her voice is low and comforting.

‘good idea! you distract her! i’ll tie her laces together!’

“You don’t hear that?” I ask again.

“No, Daken.” She soothes. “I’m starting to worry for you… are you alright? It was a stressful day- I’m sure.”

“I’m fine.” I dismiss. “I don’t want to talk about it.”  
I can’t remember what we were doing prior to my blacking out- but I remember being somewhat pissed at her.

‘pissed at her? at your sissy? you always wanted a sister! and now you’re pissed at her? you sneaky sneak. this is a game! does she play with you? you’re so big now. what games do you play?’

I’m not going to bother asking if she heard that.

‘pull her hair!’

Not going to do that.

“You hit your head pretty hard falling down just now.” She comforts. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you gave yourself a concussion.”

‘pull her hair!’ the voice insists.

I feel something on my hand- a pressure moving it upward.

“No!” I gasp, yanking my hand back down.

 “No… you didn’t hit your head?”

I shake my head trying to clear it. “I mean… maybe.” I did hit it, come to think of it. Twice. That explains everything. Relax. It’s good. Everything will clear up in a matter of minutes. “You’re right, you’re right,” I say much more calmly. “I hit my head twice.”

“Yes.” Laura says. “Be more careful.”

I nod.

‘fine. don’t pull her hair.’  
Who the fuck is talking to me??

“We shouldn’t have put you in the medical compartment- I know.” She says. “But you were bleeding so badly.”

“Bleeding?” I feel like I’m trying to concentrate on too much at once.

‘it was icky.’

“You snagged your head on some loose board in the bedroom…. we didn’t even notice it. A nail went right through your skull.”

‘i saw your brain.’

Ignore this voice. Ignore it.

‘ignore me? ki ki i’m here to help! so we can play! i heard you fighting with your sister. you’re like the royal pain in the ass. i’m here to help you!’

Help me?

And what’s up with that name?

‘oh you’d prefer ‘daken’ now?’ the voice scoffs. ‘please. that’s a boring name. that’s a mean name. why would i call you a mean name? it’s not like your other nicknames. please.’

“I guess I did more damage than I thought.” I muse.

“Concussions can make you hear some weird things, I’m told.” She says. “Could explain your mystery voice.”

“Yea.” I agree. “I guess.”

Laura nods. “You should get some sleep. We’ll be back in New York in about two hours.” She pats my shoulder.

“I’ve been out for a while,” I say. “Fuck.”

“It’s okay.” She says. “Commander Hill says we can come back again… and you can finish giving her a tour. She’s really happy with the intel they found in Romulus’ room. I think you’ve made her very happy in general.”

“Well, that’s a relief.” I nod. “Today wasn’t a total waste.”

“Not at all.” Laura smiles. “Do you want back on the stretcher or would you like a seat?”

“Seat would be fine.” I get to my feet and walk with her to the seating portion of the jet.

“Move slowly.” She cautions. “Until we know if you’re going to be ill or not.”

‘barf. you always barf.’

That’s not even half true.  
I never puke. Ever.  
Not since I was a child.  
“I feel fine,” I mumble. I do. The only thing off about me is this fucking voice.

She nods. “For what it’s worth… I’m sorry about the box.”

“The box?”  
She nods. “It was yours. It wasn’t my place to take it from you.”

I shake my head. “It’s just a box.” I forgive her without telling her so.

“I kept your journal away from Logan.” She says. “I don’t think you want him to see some of what’s in there… it’s quite raw.”

“Thank you,” I say, semi- uneasily.

“… I read it.”

“All of it?”

“You were very articulate as a child. It was very interesting.”

“Yea... I was a little advanced.”

“Who was ‘Ana’? You called her ‘Ana the horrible’. You played tricks on her apparently…”

“Ana was….” Fuck. Who was Ana? “I don’t know,” I say honestly. “A lot of that time I don’t remember.”

“Old age?” She teases.

"Brain washing.” I smile at her. “Maybe a little less severe than old age.”

“Ah.” Laura smiles. “You can have the journal back if you want… if you think it would help.”

“I’m honestly not sure if any of that is worth remembering,” I admit.

“I’ll hold onto it then.” She says quietly. “In case you decide you want it later.”

I’m sure I won’t… but…. “Thanks.”

She nods. “Anytime, Daken.” “Where’s Logan?” I have to break up the sincerity of the moment.

“Where’s Logan?” I have to break up the sincerity of the moment.

“Back in Japan.” She doesn’t seem to mind.

Good. Far away from me.

“I suggested the two of you take separate rides home.”

Just as well. No- even better. The last thing I want right now is to see him. Who knows what he knows now? What he’ll want to try and ‘talk’ about?  
No thank you.

‘but he’s your daddy. remember how bad you wanted a daddy?? and you found yours! and he’s not even old! maybe he’ll take you to get ice cream… and buy you things… and take you to the park…. and he didn’t hit you. a grown up that didn’t hit, ki ki! how amazing is that??”

Okay…… what? Why would any of my thoughts- my thoughts- contain those words in that order? Something is weird here. Maybe I’m tired.  
It’s been… stressful.

Yea. Stressful.

I need sleep. Sleep should make this voice- whoever or whatever it is- go away.

“I’ve got to get some sleep.” I groan. That’s the only explanation I can think of.

“Of course.” Laura passes me a pillow. On her side of the jet, I’m unhappy to note she’s still got the fucking rabbit.

“What the fuck Laura.” I hiss. The journal was one thing… the rabbit? I think that should have stayed.

“Hmm?” She follows my gaze. “Oh! The rabbit. I told you I was taking it.” She smiles. “Unless you want it back.”

‘she’s got usa-chan?’ the voice gasps. ‘no one takes usa and gets away with it! how will you sleep without him??”

What? I don’t care if she has the rabbit.

I mean… I don’t think I care, anyway. No- no wait. I don’t. She can keep him. IT. Not him IT. She can keep IT. Give it to Gabby or some shit. I don’t know. Maybe it’s some kind of fucked up family heirloom in her eyes. She wants to pass it to her daughter. Sister? Daughter? I don’t know.

“Enjoy.” I hiss, closing my eyes.  
Maybe Gabby will like it more than I did. I don’t know.

‘oh, i see. this is a trick. you’re letting her take usa and then taking him back. sneaky.’

I don’t care about the rabbit. She can have the rabbit. I don’t need a stuffed toy- of all things.

Things are quiet for a while. I drift back asleep, falling into an uncomfortable sort of … dream. Memory.

I’m young. Way young.

Maybe eight.  
Running. Running so fast.

‘Hide Ki Ki!” There’s a man running with me. ‘In here!”

He pulls me into the locker room.

'In the showers!'  
I run into the showers, fully clothed.

‘Turn it on to cover your scent!”

‘I’ll get wet!”

“Do ittttt!”

I turn the shower knobs drenching my new costume.

‘ Now what??’

‘Dump the shampoo out!”

‘What?”

“The shampoo, Ki Ki! Dump it! On the floor! Hurry, hurry, hurry!”

I shouldn’t. I know that.  
The man has pale white skin and dark blue eyes. Jet black hair done in a pony tail. He's attractive, but not too attractive. Modest is a better word.

I dump the shampoo all over the floor, giggling. It’s fun to do this. Making messes is fun.

‘Child!!’ Someone yells. ‘I know you’re around here!’

‘Shh, Ki Ki. Ana the horrible is here!’

‘Oh no!’

‘Shh!’

‘Daken, I have very little time for your games today.’ The woman snaps, coming into the shower room. ‘Your master has grown tired of this. He is not a patient man.’

‘Isn’t that the truth.’ The man beside me whistles.

‘Daken! Reveal yourself at once!’  
Ana is from England. She has flaming red hair. I’d never seen someone with red hair before.

I need to tell her where I am.

‘Li.. I think I’m in trouble.’I tell my friend.

‘Only if Ana the horrible catches you!’ Li points at a high window in the shower stall. ‘Climb for it!’

'I’m too little!’

‘Your claws! Use your claws!’  
I stab the wall, trying to pull myself up like I’ve been learning in training. It’s not working.  
I get halfway up the wall when there’s someone pulling me down.

'Oh no you don’t, you reckless little heathen!’Ana snarls in my ear.

'I’ve got her Ki!’ Li says. ‘I’ll knock her over! I’ll box her ears! I’ll push her-‘

'Look at this mess you’ve made.’ Ana uses her free hand to turn off the shower.

‘No Ana!’ I kick weakly. ‘You can’t catch me!’

‘I already caught you.’She growls, toting me out of the shower. ‘You’re to see your Master. And now you’re to go soaking wet and covered in soap. You can only imagine what his reaction will be.’

‘No! It was Li’s idea!’

'Li? Again?? Child! Stop these silly notions! For your own sake! Do you not comprehend your Master's stance on the subject? Do you not remember all the punishments you've amassed already? ’ She drags me out into the courtyard where the others are gathered. It’s cold and I’m drenched. Li is nowhere to be found.

Master is gathered in front of two of the others, watching them train. He turns to me with a snarl. ‘Where were you?’

Ana drops me in front of him. I shrink in his presence.

'Where were you?' he demands again. 

'Hiding.' 

'Hiding? Do we hide from our keepers, Daken?' 

I shake my head. 

'What were you doing?' He growls. 

'I was playing.’ I admit.

'’Playing’??' He snarls. 

I nod.

'With whom?’

'A boy.' I lie. 

'Was this boy real?' 

I nod my head. 

'Where is he?' 

'He's hiding.' 

'Who is he?' Romulus is mad. I hate it when he's mad. 

‘It's Li.’ I continue to stare at the ground. 

There’s laughter from the people gathered.

'You do not play, Daken. You do not hide. You especially do not play or hide with someone who is in fact not real. Do you understand?' 

'Li is real!' I defend my missing friend. 'He told me so!' 

'Defiance is courting punishment- boy.' 

'Li is real!" I repeat. 'He just hides from you because he doesn't like you!' 

A hush falls over the courtyard. 

In the distance I can hear crickets. 

‘Is that so.’ Romulus crosses his arms. I’m glad I can’t see his claws. 

I nod. 

‘And what exactly were you and your good friend playing with?’

I hang my head. ‘The horses.'

'And do you know what I told you not to do?' 

'Play with the horses.' 

‘And do you know how many of those horses got away?’ Romulus asks.

‘Three?’ I venture.

‘Five.’ His eyes… dark. Angry.

'I didn’t mean to it was-‘

'You didn’t mean to… when you purposefully untethered them.’

I look at the ground.

' I have not time for your games- Daken.' He growls. 'You cost me money. Do you know what I don't like?' 

' A lot of things.' 

He slaps me across the face. Luckily with no claws. 'Guess again.' 

'Me... costing you money?' I try again. 

'Correct. I don't like it when you cost me money.' He motions to me. 'Why are you wet?' 

'He hid in the showers, master.' Ana says. 'Poured out the soaps and shampoos.'

'Thus costing me more money.' Romulus towers over me. 'Go fetch me my whip.’ He orders.

'But I didn’t do it!’ I cry.

'Do not LIE to me.' He growls. 

'It was Li!' 

'Do not LIE to me!' He repeats. 

'But-' 

'Boy, the longer you wait the worse it will be.’ He growls. ‘Go!’

I hurry away from him. Back to the back porch of the compound. 

Li is waiting inside. ‘Ki….. what happened?’

‘I couldn’t get away and Ana the horrible took me to Master and now I have to go get his whip.’ I pout.

‘Not if you hide it you don't.’ Li smiles.

‘Hide it?’ I grin.

‘He can’t hit you if he can’t find it.’

'I'll hide it good this time!' 

'That's the spirit!' 

I jump awake, just as the jet lands.

It takes several minutes to realize that what just happened was in fact in the past. 

I distinctly smell the cloying scent of the shampoos and soaps we used to use. 

Which should be impossible. 

“Daken… do you have someone who can come get you?” Laura is asking. “I don’t trust you to drive.”

“Drive?”

“Do not drive.” She orders. “I can take you home if you need me to.”

“But my car-“

“I’ll make sure it ends up at your apartment, I promise,” Laura says. “How are you getting home?”

Surely my head’s not this fucked up. Not still.

“Daken?”

“I’ll take a taxi.” I yawn.

Today has been so… weird. So, so, so weird.

“Be careful.” She leans forward and hugs me. It’s something I’ve grown comfortable with.

I call a cab, gather my shit up, and take it to my next destination. Which I shouldn’t be going to but fuck… maybe he’ll have some answers. Or in the very least- a good distraction.

I can be grateful- at least- that the voice has quieted.

Not too happy about the memory... but at least there's no mystery voice. 

Maybe all I needed was sleep after all.

I walk to his apartment and try the door- finding it locked.

Fucker’s gotten his locks changed again. That’s okay. I can deal. I bust out the window beside the door and reach my hand through it, unlocking the door as I go.

When I open the door, he’s sitting on his couch watching the game. “Jesus princess, you heard of knocking?” He gripes.

“Like you would answer.” I shut the door behind me.

“You gonna pay for that window?” He points with a beer in hand.

“You’ve got enough cash to cover it.” I stand in the doorway and look around the small apartment. The dry wall is littered with holes- some of the holes still having weapons embedded into them. A few playing cards as well. The table in front of him has about six glass beer bottles and a vast collection of uneaten- sometimes untouched- food."Off our meds, are we?” I smirk. I like it when he’s off his meds. Some confusion is good for our ‘relationship’.

“What?” Lester scoffs. “How can you tell?”

He hates that I can read him. He hates that anyone can read him. It’s not my fault, however, that he is transparent when it comes to these things. I grin. “This place is wrecked.”

Lester smirks. “Sorry, it’s not up to your five star standards.” He nods to me. “Whattya want?”

I cross my arms. “I can’t break into your home and enjoy your company?”

“Only asking one more time,” Lester says, taking a long swig of beer. “Whattya want shit for brains?”

Ah. His nicknames are so, so, so, endearing.

“I’m in need of some … fun.”

“‘Fun”?” He raises an eyebrow.

The scar on his forehead is rather prominent today. I wonder if he’s had an accident where it’s been ‘touched up’- as it were. He wouldn’t tell me… so there’s really no point in asking.

Lester’s not changed in the time I’ve known him. The bald man and his surly, psychotic, violent, ways have a certain charm. Something that makes him fun to fuck and fuck with. Two of my favorite things to do to a person.

“A quickie in the shower should suffice.”

“Oh is that so? You break into my house and then demand that I fuck you?”

I grin. “I didn’t say you could fuck me… I was thinking more along the lines of me fucking you.”

It’s something he likes. It’s painful. It can feel good. And it’s something my pheromones help him with. I watch him carefully. If he’s in the wrong mood, he'll impale me just for suggesting it.

Lester eyes me for a long minute. “Right. Make it quick fuck face. The game’s on.”

“Pause it.” I purr. “It’ll give us more time.”

“Don’t have DVR.”

"Like that has anything to do with it.” I scoff. “Trust me, with most cable providers, you can pause the tv. Give it a try.”

He exhales loudly and picks up the remote. “Look at that.” He grins. “Learn something new every day.”

He gets up from his spot, dressed in just his boxers, and walks to the bathroom, beer still clutched in his hand.

Lester’s back in a mesh of scars and scar tissue. What could be called ‘a warrior’s body’ if he was in another time period.

I know that I can sometimes hate ending up on the end of his wrath.  
Even though he’s pretty much pissed with me 24/7 anyway.

“You’ve got ten minutes.”

“I’ll take five.” I assure.

“If I’m catching- you’ll take ten.” He snarls. “Lube me up this time, fuck head.”

"Lester… you gentle flower.”

“Fuck you.”He spits. “I’ve had a long day.”

“Fighting the devil again?”

“His little ninja girlfriend.” Lester glances over his shoulder. “Hotter than you. Man, I’d like to fuck the shit outta her. Ya know. Just for like… ten minutes. Just the tip.”

“You hate Elektra.” I follow him into the shower.

“Ya- but she’s got a nice pair of tits.”

“Always pegged you for more of an ass man.” I tease.

"Ass is important.” He agrees.

“It’s why you like me so much.”

“You’re tighter than any chick I’ve ever been with. It’s like fucking a virgin every single time.” He glances back at me again. “So I guess you can say I agree with you.”

“I love to hear you sing my praises sweetness.” Lester strips.

"Cold water or hot dickhead?”

“Hot.”

Lester’s bathroom consists of a sink, a half broken mirror, a tub/shower combo, and a window in the tub/shower space. It’s dingy. He never cleans it when he’s not in the mood.  
I can never peg down whether he’s bipolar, schizoaffective, or just plain psychotic. It comes in phases. Bipolar seems to be the running theory. Playing his varying moods is an art form. One I’ve gotten quite good at over the years. When we first met it was always like rolling the dice every time we interacted. Lately, he’s settled down.

I strip easily, dousing him with liberal amounts of pheromones as I go.

“Princess… you using your weird vibes again?”

“Pheromones.” I correct for the thousandth time.

“Don’t care what they’re called.” He turns the water on and leans against the wall. “They make me want to cum.”

“Good,” I say. “That means they’re working.”

“Fucking mutants.”

“Lube?” I ask, stepping into the spray of scalding water.

“Windowsill.”

I find the bottle and liberally coat my fingers. “Ready dear?” I purr.

Lester nods, not looking at me and setting his beer on the windowsill.

I tease my way into him. He’s mellowed out today. Probably half drunk. Usually, after a mission, he’d be a little-worked up. He’s probably already jerked off at least twice.

“Fuck.” He hisses when I add a third finger. “Fuck.”

“Want some more?” I whisper in his ear.

“Fuck no.” He spits. “Last time you didn’t stop.”

“You said you’d never been fisted before,” I say innocently. “I apologize for broadening your horizons.”

“Three fingers max.” He growls, looking over his shoulder.

“Fine.” I use my fourth finger to tease his rim.

“Serious, fuck face.” He growls. “I’ll break those fingers and shove them up your ass if you add another.”

It’s more of a tickling motion now.

"Serious.” He repeats.

“Just the tip.” I tease.

“No.”

“Just half.”

“NO.”

I remove all of my fingers.

“Really?” He whines impatiently. “You can’t have your way so you’re going to stop altogether?”

“Patience.” I soothe, running my hand up his spine. “Patience darling.”

“I have zero patience for this shit today.” He announces. “So get on with it.”

“The fun is in the preparation.” I chide him. Plus I’m in a weird headspace. I’m having a hard time… getting it up. Not usually a problem for me. Ever. I need to drag this out until my dick gets with the program.

“The fun is in the fucking.” he corrects. “Which you should get to. I don’t have all day.”

“Got a hot date?”

“Gonna go kill a hooker.” He could be joking. He could not be joking. I don’t care.

“Wear a rubber,” I instruct, running a hand over his shoulders and then back down to his ass, teasing his hole again. "And kill her cleanly. Don't come home covered in hooker blood."

“Orders? From you?”

“I don’t want my favorite pet to get a nasty STD that he so lovingly shares with me.”

“Like it would affect you for more than an hour.” He scoffs.

“If you get herpes, you won’t want to fuck. I like it when we fuck. If you don’t want to fuck- I’m not happy. Keep me happy. Wear a rubber.”

“What is this bullshit? Keep you happy? The fuck you mean ‘keep you happy’? Not my job fuckface. In the slightest. Fuck you. Fuck your fun. And for the love of all that is holy FUCK ME -now!”

“Patience,” I say again. Fuck. Still not hard.  
I play with his balls, making him inhale sharply. I’m pushing all the right buttons… but I still might get stabbed. I know Lester well enough to know that there’s bound to be some kind of weapon stashed away in here. “You should use that dildo I got you,” I tell him. “Loosen your ass up when you know I’m coming over.”

“I like my ass being tight.” Lester hisses as I continue to play with him.

I’m semi hard now. Things seem to be back on track.

Time to get this show on the road.

I don’t know why I even came over. I do know, however, that if I try to leave after I’ve got him naked, in the shower, and lubed up- he will come after me insistently until I’m repentant enough for his liking. And personally, I don’t like it when my fuck toy follows me around with a sniper rifle. I can’t get shit done that way.

“Right. You’re not some cheap trick.” I slick my dick up.

‘whoah! that man is naked! what’re you doing with your fingers?? where’s his hair? why’s he got so many scars!?’

I jump when I hear the voice. The same one from before. Fuck it all.

‘look at your dick!’ The voice says. ‘it’s not little anymore! you dog you.’

I’m standing here, dick in my hand, listening to some disembodied voice….. fuck.

‘you never found me in the jet, ki ki. that means i win. that means it’s your turn to hide!’

This is impossible. I hit my head. I hit my head. That’s all it is. I hit my head.

“Princess? What’s the holdup?” Lester looks over his shoulder.

“Uh…”

“Seriously dick head. Fuck me or get out.”

“Uh..” I try to get my dick hard- but it’s becoming a little … difficult.

“Fucker,” Lester growls. “Fuck me or get out.”

‘i get it! you’re doing the naughty dance! did his royal pain in the ass sell you to this man too? when did you start doing the humping? where did you learn that? that looks like fun!’

I start to go soft…. again.

“Oh my god.” Lester turns around and laughs, full on. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” He looks down. “You’re soft.” He laughs. “What, am I not pretty enough for you now?”  
Fuck.

“You’re soft.” he laughs. “That’s hilarious. Can’t keep it up, princess? Having a hard time?”

“Fuck you.”

“I thought you were gonna… but your little friend there doesn’t seem to want to come out to play.”

I jack myself off, but nothing’s happening.

‘don’t play with yourself!’ the voice gasps. 'that’s not allowed! if the bastard catches you you’ll be in a looooot of trouble.’

The bastard? What bastard? Who the fuck is this? Some random telepath tagging along to make my life hell? What’s their range? Am I being followed? What the fuck? How is a man supposed to have an erection with all of this going on??

“Come on little princess.” Lester teases. “Come play with the big boys.”

“Fucking stop.” I hiss at him. “You’re not helping.”

“Not my fault you got some fucked up dick problems.” He laughs. And laughs and laughs. “Finding it a little hard to stay a little hard? Maybe If I put a blonde wig on? Set you on fire? What is it going to take to make you fuck me like a man instead of this little bitch ass faggot you’re being right now?”

Fuck him. I’m half tempted to call it off.

“Get hard.” He says. “Now.”

“I can’t.” I almost whine.

‘doesn’t feel so good- does it?’ the voice asks. ‘now you know how mr. smith felt.’

Who the fuck is ‘Mr. Smith’?

“This is fucked, Daken.” Lester laughs. He’s having the time of his life. Embarrassing me and taking a shit on my self-confidence are two of his favorite of things. Besides flat out stabbing me- that is.

“Then do something about it,” I growl.

"With that much lube on your dick? I’ll give you a handy.” He offers. “But not a good one.” He starts to jack me off… but it’s not helping. My mind is back on my dream. Back on the voice.

‘ask him what he did to his hair!’

No. No. No.  
I just hit my head. I hit my head a lot. A nail went into my head. That’s all this is. That’s all this is. It’s nothing. it’s….

“Ya know.. there’s a pill for this.” Lester is eating this shit up.

“Shut it.” I hiss, trying my best to focus on his hand.

“Just sayin’.” He tries for another five minutes. “Fuck it all.” He hisses. “Turn around.”

“Hmm?”

“One of us is getting fucked tonight.” He spits on his hand and slicks his dick with it. “Turn around. Face the wall.”

Fuck me.

I guess... that’s what he’s doing.

I face the wall, getting hit in the face with a jet of hot water. Lester has a shitty water heater in this apartment. It doesn’t stay hot for long. It’s a mild discomfort at best.

“That’s it, princess.” He ‘soothes’ as he pushes into me. It’s a stretch. “That’s it.” he bottoms out and gives me time to adjust. Fuck. he really must be off his meds.  
“Relaxed, shithead?” He asks almost sweetly. Something’s up. I nod. “Good.” He pulls out and rams back into me. “Now you can take it like the horny bitch that you are!” He’s pulling roughly at my hips, thrusting into me with a singular purpose that I’m not sure is my pleasure. “Fuck!” he chuckles. “Good bitch.” He snaps his hips, drills into me. “Horny slut.” He hisses. I go to place my hands on the wall only to have one pinned there by one of his. A hand, which I’m not so surprised to see is holding a knife. I know he keeps about five in any given room. He lets me stare at the knife a second before stabbing it through my hand and into the wall- causing me to howl. “That’s right.” He ‘soothes’. “That’s it.” I feel blood dripping down my thighs. It’s glorious. He thrusts harder- deeper- faster. Soon he cums inside of me and lets me slip down the wall, held up by the knife that’s slowly ripping through my hand as I slink to the tub portion of the shower. Lester pats my head. “That’ll do it.” He grins manically. “Get your shit and go.”

“What? No turn around service?”

“Get out, fuck face. I got shit to do.”

‘oh, my god! ki ki! what did he do to you!?? where’s your nurse!? she’ll take care of it! hold on! we’ll get him back!”

Fuck. That voice again. Lester gets out of the shower and goes to the toilet beside it, taking a long piss. I reach up and pull the knife out, sitting in the tub with my legs crossed.

“Stop staring at my dick,” Lester growls.

"It’s such a nice dick.”

Not as big as mine, but nice.  
You wanna piss him off? Make comments about his manhood. Any attempt to emasculate him will result in blood. It’s just how it goes.

It’s usually fun to push the boundaries.  
Not today, however.

Something is off with my head.

‘you LET him do that to you???’ The voice sounds floored. “ki- when did you start to like it?’

When did I start to like it? The fuck does that mean??? I’ve always liked it. Rough sex is kinda my thing.

This is a major mental issue- apparently. One I’ve never had before.

It’s got to be stress induced. Luckily- I’m in the right place. If you have a mental issue… asking Lester is usually a good way to get answers.

If you ask bluntly.

He still may not answer- however. But sometimes it can’t hurt to try.

He’s had more ‘therapy’ than anyone I know. For what good it does them. Thousands of doctors trying to see what makes Bullseye tick. Almost all of them end up dead. That’s just how it goes.

“Darling?”

“Don’t call me that shit.” He growls.

“Lester, then.”

He turns to face me. “What?” He says “You wanna cuddle now, princess?”

"Do you know anything about.. voices?” I try to maintain eye contact but find that I’m slightly… embarrassed.

“Like sound voices or ‘voices’ voices.” he points to his head.

“The latter.”

he chuckles. “Fuck no I don’t. Why? You going nuts? Tell me now fuck face. If you want to go on a rampage I want to get it on tape for when they throw your ass in lock up.”

I sigh. “It’s nothing.” Maybe my other ‘booty call’ would have been more understanding.

Maybe not- though. He likes to ‘talk’ about things. He might try to make me see a doctor. Or Reed. Who knows?

“Don’t do mopey eyes with me.” Lester points to me. “Or I’ll take ‘em.”

I know he will, too.

“Leave.” He orders. “I’m serious.”

“Why?” I scoff.

“Because you need to do whatever mental fucking breakdown shit you think you’re about to have the fuck away from me.” He sneers. “The fuck are my boxers?”

I point with my now healed hand. “Fuck Lester. I was just talking.”  
No information to be gathered here. Fuck it all.

“Well stop talking.” He growls. “And leave.”

“Really? For asking you a question?”

"You want sympathy? Go see your other little fuck toy.”

"Don’t think I won’t,” I say crisply.

“Do.” He sneers. “Take your limp dick and go try to fuck pretty boy. Let him have a good laugh.”

“Is this a hint of jealousy I’m hearing, Lester dear?”

“Fuck off.” He pulls his boxers on. “And get the fuck out my house.”

“Of all people to judge someone for a ‘mental breakdown’ you’re the last person I would have pegged for it.”

“What? I’ve seen your old man in action. You flip out like that? I don’t want you fucking near me.”

That makes me stiffen. “I would not flip out like that.”

“The fuck you wouldn’t.” He snorts. 

I stand to my feet. “Fine. I’ll go.”

“Good.” He leans against the wall. “Go.”

“See you in a week?” I ask as I’m pulling on my clothes.

“I’ll be outta town.” He says dismissively.

“I’ll find you,” I assure, petting his arm as I pass. I gather up the bags I dropped at his front door and pull my cell phone out my pocket.

“Wait.” He follows me to the door. 

“Hmm?”

“Are you really going to see pretty boy?”

“You don’t care.” 

“I don’t.” He agrees. “But I need to know.”

“Why?”

“Because I do, fuckface.” He snarls.

“No,” I answer. “I’m going home.”

“To your mystery apartment?”

“You got it, babe.”

Lester sneers, “Don’t call me that shit.”

I pat his cheek. “Thanks for the fun.”

“Yea, sure.” He walks me to the door.

“I’ll be seeing you.”

“I won’t hold my breath.” He opens the door- slamming it once I’m through.

“Fuck you too,” I grumble.

My cars forever away in some abandoned warehouse.

I catch another cab and head back to my highrise.

I could call up Johnny. Try to get this soft dick situation sorted. I have to admit it… sometimes Lester isn’t pretty enough for me. That’s why I have Johnny.

‘ooooooh. who’s johnny?'

I jump as a man blinks into existence beside me- in the back of the cab. Literally out of nowhere. “The fuck are you??” I press my back to the window, moving away from the intruder.

The cabbie looks at me in the rearview. “You okay?”

I stare between him and the pale man seated beside me. He doesn’t see him. Why the fuck doesn’t he see him?

‘nod your head ki ki.” The man says. ‘we need to have a talk.’

“Who the fuck are you?” I whisper.

‘that’s what we need to talk about.” The man says with a nod. ‘i’ve been trying to play with you all day. and you’re not very good at remembering our games.’

I take a swing at him- but my fist goes through him and hits the window.

‘don’t hit.’ he chides.

“The fuck are you.” I hiss.

A ghost? A mutant? A telepathic projection. 

"Who sent you?" 

‘i’m me. you’re you. we’re we. i like being out of japan. i’ve never been out of japan. we’re in new york! do you like new york? you always wanted to go to america. now you live here? how cool is that?” The man smiles at me.  
His blue eyes are a little… big. Innocent is a better word. He looks innocent.

"Who sent you?" I snarl. 

'me.' he says simply. 'well i mean- you. you opened my box. you saved me from the bastard's room and opened my box. you obviously needed me.' He smiles. 'so here i am. ready to help good buddy.' 

I don’t think…I don’t think he’s trying to hurt me. Which on its own is weird. I don’t know who he is… or why he seems to have attached himself to me… or even how he got in this cab- but I don’t think he means me harm.

“Look, whoever you are- just go away- okay? I am the last person you want to fuck with.”

‘fuck with? i would never fuck you, ki. you know that. i’m your bud. buds don’t fuck buds. it hurts too much.’

“Go away.” I shoo him with my hands. “Now. Get out of the cab… teleport back to wherever you came from-“

‘my box? your sister has it.’ he frowns. ‘why would you want to put me back in my box? i’m here to play. it’s been years since we played! and you’re so big now! we can play grown up games now!’

“Sir, are you okay?” The cabbie asks. “You want me to take you to a hospital, maybe?”

I stare at the man beside me.

“You don’t hear this?” I ask finally.  
“I hear you talking to yourself.” The man laughs nervously. “Nothing wrong with it. My ma’ used to do it all the time. Just wanted you to know that people can get help for shit like that now a days. Nice lookin’ guy like you? Might wanna get on that.” The cabbie is a middle aged black man with a set of sunglasses that don't really frame his face that well. 

His ID says "Samuel" but he looks like the kind of guy that goes 'call me sam' to every stranger he's introduced to. 

“I’m fine,” I growl, glaring at the pale man beside me.

‘he can’t see me, ki ki.’ The man says. ‘that’s not how it works.’

“How what works?” I hiss.

‘you and me.’ The man points between us. ‘the dynamic duo. the two compadres against it all.’

“You and I? No, we don’t have a thing. There is no you and I. There's me. Here. And you- wherever the fuck you came from. Got it?"

‘right right.’ the man nods. ‘guess i’ll just go then.’  
He pops away.  
I take a sigh of relief. That was… odd. Really fucking odd. But…. it’s over.

‘one last thing.’ the man pops back to his spot, I startle for a second time.

‘when i come over to your house…. should i bring ice cream or cookies?’

I’m.. thrown. “What?”

‘ice cream or cookies. it’s friday. friday is when ana the horrible makes sweets. thought you’d be missing it.’

“It’s tuesday.” I don’t know why I’m correcting him.

‘tuseday is eggs. you don’t like eggs. let’s make it be friday. friday is sweets. you like sweets.’

“You’re not coming to my apartment,” I tell him.

‘what???’ he sounds heart broken. ‘ki ki just tell me what i did, good buddy!!! you won’t share cookies with me? you’re having,” he whispers ‘sex’ loudly, ‘ with other men… grown up men. Who aren’t the mountainous bastard!”

“I don’t know who you are! You can’t come back home with me! I don’t know you!”

He gasps. ‘ki ki.’ He leans forward. ‘he made you forget.’ he touches my face… and his hands are cold. ‘the bastard made you forget.’

“Who is ‘the bastard’?”

‘duh. master? the bastard to top all bastards.’

“Romulus-“ 

‘don’t say his name ki!” The man draws back as if burnt.

“Romulus-“ 

‘don’t!” The man screeches. ‘he’ll hear you!’

“Hear me?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to a hospital, buddy?” The cabbie asks. “Really- I won’t charge you extra fare. I’ll turn it off right now.”

‘ki ki- please.’ The man begs. ‘remember. me and you? against the world? we were gonna beat the bastard. so he couldn’t lock you away anymore.’

I shake my head to try and clear it. “This is too-“

‘he washed your brain!’ The man crows. ‘oh my god! oh ki ki- i’m so sorry. i’m so sorry! it’s okay! we can get it dirty again! you just need to play with me! play with me ki! our old games? hide and seek. and farmer. and tag. and hide it.’ 

It starts to dawn on me. Slowly. “Oh my god.”

The dream. The nicknames. The games. 

‘yes?’ he motions with his hands.

“Oh fuck.”

‘yesssss???’

“Holy fuck.” I put my hand over my mouth. “Holy fuck. I’m insane.”

“Buddy-“

'no, no, no.' the man soothes. 'you're not crazy! i'm here to help! i wouldn't make you crazy- i promise!' 

“Stop the cab.” I hand a fistful of cash to the cabbie. “Please- stop the cab.”

“We’re real close to the hospital.” The man says. “I think you should go.”

I open the door to the cab, making him pump the brake to stop. “I’m having a bad day,” I tell him. “Thank you for your concern.”

“Okay…. but you should think of… I dunno. Some meds? You take meds? You should take meds. I know this great doctor down town who-“ 

“I have to go.” I take off at a run, leaving behind my ‘friend’ in the back seat.

I run until I hit my apartment building, racing past the door man and up the stairs. It’s a long trek… but when I get to the top, I’m happy to note that I’m alone.

“I hit my head,” I say to myself. “I was fighting with Laura… and the compound was stressful… and I was reliving shit…. it’s stress. It’s a stress induced psychotic episode.” I try to soothe myself. “Stress induced psychotic episode. I’ve seen Lester have like five of them. I just have to reduce the stress…” I jam my keys into my lock. “reduce the stress,” I repeat, turning the knob. “and everything will be alright.”

‘so I got cookies, ice cream, and shaved ice!’

I drop my keys, mouth agape.

‘Li’ pats my couch with his hand. ‘have a seat. we have much discussing to do.’

I sink to the floor, stunned.

‘chocolate ice cream…..’ he bribes. ‘cherry shaved ice….. and oreos! did you know there was a thing called ‘oreos’? i didn’t.’

“Who are you?” I finally ask, staring at him . “What do you want?”

“i’m li. i want to help.’

“Help?” I scoff, hysterically. “Help? You want to help??? I’m seventy-seven, having a talk with my IMAGINARY friend… and you want to help.”

‘hey now. we don’t use the ‘i’ word lightly.’

I don’t know what to do. “Sorry to have offended your delicate sensibilities- but you are not real. And I know you're not real. I've had it drilled into my head that you are not real.”

'by who? the bastard? he would do that.' 

"You're not real." I repeat. "So go. I'm done with this... episode. I declare.. I declare it over!" I wave my hand in front of me. "So vanish!" 

'vanish? you want me to vanish?' He disappears. 'like this?' his voice sounds off from where he was. 

"The fuck are you doing that?" 

'i'm li. li the amazing. i do all kinds of things.' 

"No." He blinks back into existence. "No. Because you are not real." 

‘ am too.’

“Are not.”

‘am too, ki ki.’ he motions to the array of snacks in front of him. ‘how else could i have gotten all of these??’

He’s got them all laid out on my cocktail table. The glass looking a little crummy. I don’t know what he did to make it-

Wait. He didn’t do anything. He’s not real. He’s not real. He can’t be real.

“That…” I point… “is a good point.” I stare at him for a long minute. “Li… what are you doing here?”

‘i’m here to help.’ he says simply.

I'll bite. This is obviously some kind of 'cry for help' situation. 

“Help?”

‘with the bastard.’

“I don’t need help with the bastard anymore,” I tell him. “He’s gone.”

‘no he’s not.’ Li chuckles. He picks up a sleeve of Oreos. ‘cookie?’

When I don’t move, he wiggles it through the air. ‘come on ki ki.’ he sings. ‘come get a cookie.’

All I can do is stare at him.

‘cookie.’ he sings. ‘yummy yummy cookie.’

He picks one up and eats it.

“This is a psychotic stressed induced episode,” I tell him. “You’re not real. You never were.”

‘you’re really hurting my feelings here.’ he says.

“You don’t have feelings. You’re not real.”

‘you need a nap.’ Li says. ‘you work better after a nap.’ he pauses. ‘but you gave usa-chan away. how are you sleeping without him?’

“I’m seventy-seven.” I put my hand over my mouth and count down from ten, closing my eyes. “When I open my eyes- you won’t be there,” I say.

I slowly crack them open, sighing when he’s gone.

‘of course i won’t. i’ll be over here, with you. you really look rough good buddy.’ I jump when he pops into exsitence beside me. 

I laugh. And laugh. and laugh.

‘this is funny.’ he says, joining in.

“I need alcohol,” I say, getting up and closing my door. It locks without me touching it. I look at the ‘man’.

‘privacy.’ he tells me. ‘we don’t want anyone to see you like this. the bastard would have your head.’

The bastard would have my head.  
Yes. If Romulus knew I was playing with my imaginary friend all these years later- there’s no telling what he would do.

Just a normal, run of the mill, psychotic episode. I suffer a bit... take a nap? He's gone. I go back to normal. Maybe go back to Lester's and show him just how well my dick works.   
  
That seems to be a good plan. 

I walk to my kitchen, with its copious amounts of space, its state of the art appliances and reach on top of my black fridge, pulling down a bottle of vodka.

‘ooooohhhh grown up juice.’ Li says. 'can i??" 

I take a swig straight from the bottle.

‘that went smoothly. remember when you tried to drink sake?’ he laughs. ‘you got sick.’

I did steal the sake one time. I remember that. I got sick and then got beaten. It wasn’t even Romulus’! He can’t get drunk.

Maybe that’s why he’s a bastard all of the time.

"Knock yourself out." I pass him the bottle in fascination. Watching as he holds it- a solid item- in his imaginary hands.

'smooth.' He croaks, almost gagging after he swallows. 

"Give me that." I take it back and take another drink. A bigger one. 

'you're trying to get drunk.' Li says. 

I nod. 

'you shouldn't do that. remember how mean ana was when she drank?' 

"No." I say clearly. "Becuase I don't know who you're talking about." 

'ana the horrible! the nanny??? she was mean. we played tricks on her all the time.' 

The... 

"I killed the nannies." 

'not ana you didn't.' Li says. 'she's a healer. she got fired.' 

"Fired?" 

he nods. 'she wouldn't kill you- remember? so she got canned. then we got lucy. you killed lucy.' 

Fuck. I shake my head. 

He nods. 'it was sad. after lucy came-' 

"Stop." I hold up a hand. "Really. That's enough." Enough cherished childhood memories. 

We sit in silence for a few minutes. It's unnerving. 

‘sooooo…..’ Li drawls, walking around my kitchen. ‘let’s talk.’

I put the bottle down. “Let’s.” Becuase why not.

‘the bastard.’

“The bastard.” I pick the bottle back up and take another swig.

‘you’re big now.’  
“That I am.” Too big for this to be happening.   
  
Too big for him.   
  
Too big for the rabbit.   
  
Too big for the compound. 

Too fucking big. 

‘and i bet he’s even older.’

I nod. “Of course, of course.”

More vodka.

‘so we attack. and lock him in the dungeon.’

“Sounds like a solid plan there Li.” More vodka.

‘of course it is.’ Li says, missing out on my sarcasm. 

I don’t want to know why he hates Romulus so much.

And it doesn't matter. None of this matters.   
This is a prolonged stress induced psychotic episode. I’ll just stay inside, stay away from my phone, and ride it out. No one has to know.

‘then you’re on board?’

On board? With my imaginary friend trying to take out a dominating, altogether terrifying, member of my past, present and fuck probably my future?

I raise the bottle of vodka. “Of course. We’ll lock Romulus in the dungeon.”  
‘then the house will be ours!’

I chuckle. “Then the house will be ours.”

‘i’m glad you’re so agreeable.’ Li says. ‘usually, you ask questions.’

“Oh, I have questions.” I chuckle, borderline hysterical.

‘yea?’

I nod. “But this,’ I point between us, “Is a psychotic episode. I was under a lot of stress. So it’s not real. None of it is real. I’ll wake up in a few hours and it will be like it never happened.”

Li crosses his arms. ‘buddy….. i think you need to lay down.’

“You know what?” I take another swig of vodka- a long one. “You’re right. I do need to lay down.” I nod to him. “I’ll just go to sleep on my couch….” I walk into my living room and lay down on my black leather couch. “And wake up in a few hours and everything will be fine.”

Li nods. ‘that’s cool. i’ll make sure no one comes in on your while you’re sleeping.’

“Thank you.” I close my eyes.

It’s a psychotic episode. It’s a psychotic episode. I’ve never had one before- but it will pass. I know it will pass.

It HAS to pass.

‘wanna hear a story?’ Li asks.

“Sure.” Why not? It's just a voice. And it will fade. It has to fade. 

He starts going on about adventures and dragons and fairy tales.

It’s… not unpleasant.

Fuck.


	3. The sext, the snack food, and the 'doctor'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mentioned past sexual abuse that involves a child. Not in a heavy way, however. Nothing graphic. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Let me know what you think :)

Today’s been some kind of fucked up nightmare from start to finish. Personally, I’m glad it’s over. No- beyond glad.

If I could leave it all behind me- that’d be great.

I don’t know what was going on this afternoon- I don’t want to know what was going on this afternoon. I’ll chalk it all up to nightmares. Nightmares in the day time.

Psychotic episodes. Things like that. A trick. My mind played a trick on me. Ha ha ha. Very funny. When I wake up- things will go back to normal. There will be no voice, no limp dick, and most importantly - no imaginary friend.

I’ll go back to my very much adult life with no issues. I may even look into why this episode occurred in the first place. Do some digging into brain injuries. Or psychosis. Something like that. It’s not like I haven’t flirted with the ever so damning edge of mental illness before.

‘hey… sleepy head…. sleeeeepppy head.’

My groggy brain recognizes a voice- but not whose voice.

That being said- I really don’t feel like opening my eyes. At the moment- whoever they are is not important. If they mean me harm- I’ll get around to dealing with them. If they don’t- then they’ll fuck off soon enough.

‘your piece of glass in a case keeps going off and showing pictures of naked men.’ the voice pauses. ‘well- man. i think he wants you to know he’s naked.’

“What?” I ask groggily. I try to string together thoughts but the only ones coming to mind are how much I’d like for me to still be dreaming.

The thought of a naked man is enticing, however.

‘your piece of glass. the thing with the screen?’

Who the fuck?

I bolt up, looking in horror as the person I thought was part of a bad dream, is sitting at the edge of the couch holding my phone.

“Fuck,” I whisper.

‘fuck?’ Li asks.

“You’re here.”

‘of course, i’m here! i told you i would be!’

“You’re here- still. And it’s been hours. My head is healed. My-“ I run a hand through my hair. “my head is healed. There is no damage… why… why are you still here?”

‘to play- duh!’ Li says with a grin. He shows me my phone. ‘maybe we can play with this?’

 

“Give me that!” I snatch the phone from him.

‘don’t know who the naked man is.. but kudos.’ Li says. ‘he must exercise a lot.’

I check who the texts are from. “Johnny.” I exhale.

‘who’s johnny? why’s he naked? why’s he so blonde? do you like blondes now? did you ever see a blonde before coming to america? why is he showing you pictures of his penis? is there something wrong with it?’

I stare at Li with wide eyes. He looks innocent enough.

‘do you send him pictures of your penis? does your nurse let you do that?’

“I don’t have a nurse.” I sigh.

‘so you do send him pictures?’

“Sometimes.”

‘why?’

“He likes them.”

‘why?’

“He just does.” I snap. I pull my legs underneath me on the couch, crossing them and putting my hands on my thighs. What does Johnny’s nephew call it? “Criss cross something or another”

I’m trying low key meditate. Maybe with enough focus- he’ll fade away.

‘do you have to pay him for pictures of his penis?’

I close my eyes. “No.”

‘does he send you a lot of pictures?’

“When he’s drunk or horny.” I keep my eyes closed- waiting for his voice to fade.

‘do you like the pictures or do you want them to stop? you used not to like looking at grown up penises.’

“It’s uh-“ I run my hand through my hair. “It’s a thing. You wouldn’t understand it.” I open my eyes. He’s still there, now sitting on the floor, mimicking my position.

‘understand it? i understand naked men, ki ki. we’ve seen tons of them.

“Yea well this is different.” I unlock my phone that’s sitting inactive in my hand. Might as well look into these pictures.

‘oh?’ Li leans forward. ‘do tell.’

“I uh... .asked to see this one naked.”

‘WHAT????? you ASKED to see him naked??? why would you do that? couples are gross. love is gross. love is-“

“Whoah- whoah- whoah. I do not ‘love’ Johnny. I just ask to see him naked from time to time.”

‘and he shows you?’

“Well… yea.” I nod. “It’s called ‘sexting’. He sends me a naked picture… I send him a naked picture. We talk about them.” That’s the simplest way I can think to explain that to him.

The house is dark. The snacks have been removed from my coffee table and replaced with the vodka bottle.

I scroll through my past texts. The one I note is from Laura. Asking how I am.

I should respond but she’s probably up to something else. I don’t know how long I’ve been asleep- but it’s pretty dark outside the windows. From what I can see through my curtains, the city lights are a glow. Maybe I should show Li. I bet he’d think they were magical.

Looking through my phone I see that Johnny has indeed sent some pictures of the naked variety. Nice ones too. I can feel myself getting the stirs of arousal.

‘lemme look again.’ Li reaches up and grabs the phone. ‘oh gross. now it’s hard. why’s he so muscley? do you like men with muscles now? he’s not fat. the old guys used to be fat.’

I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Is this going to be a thing now?”

‘hmmm?’

“You. Here.”

‘yep.’ He grins. ‘just you and me good buddy. i’m here to take care of you. and play. you don’t play enough.’

“You don’t know what I do and don’t do.” I snap.

Li raises an eyebrow. “I played detective while you were asleep.”

“”Detective’?”

He nods. ‘you’ve turned into a serious grown up ki ki. it can’t stand. you don’t have enough fun.’

“I have plenty of fun,” I assure.

‘you have ZERO toys in this apartment. except for some weird silicone tubes under your bed.’

“Silicone tubes?” I’m lost again.

‘they’re shaped like penises.’ he whispers.

Oh.

Well….

“Those are toys of a different variety.” I feel slightly shameful. I don’t know why. It doesn’t make sense.

‘so we can play with them? they’d make bad swords. maybe they need two people to play.’

“They’re sex toys, Li.” I groan. “Grownup toys.”

‘sex toys? you can play with toys during sex??? that’s so much more fun than actual sex! how do you use them?? do you take turns?’

“They’re for-“ I stop. “It doesn’t matter. Leave them alone. Please.”

He crosses his arms. ‘minus the sex toys, you have no toys in your apartment. you have this big screen thing on the wall,’ he motions to the TV, ‘but i can’t figure out how to turn it on.’

“That’s my TV.”

‘that’s a television???’

“Yes.”

‘how many channels? three or five?”

“Hundreds.” I look at him for a second. “You’ve really been trapped in a box for sixty years?”

He nods.

“You know nothing of technology?”

‘not a clue.’

Fuck.

‘but i learn real quick. like how to work your screen thingy. i read some of your notes.’

“My notes?”

‘messages.’

“Oh.” The two of us sit and stare at each other.

‘like this one,’ He opens a text. ‘it’s from someone who said they knew your dad. they said he wanted to have lunch with you. i think it was a lady. she said she was his girlfriend.’

Fuck me.

“It’s rude to read people’s texts, Li.”

He looks at me with those oddly innocent blue eyes. ‘i didn’t know that.’

“Well, it is.”

He looks at the phone in his hand. ‘i’m not gonna stop. we don’t have secrets from each other.’

“Li-“ The phone vibrates in his hand.

‘it’s johnny again!” He says happily. ‘look. there’s a picture of his chest. it’s a nice chest. the men used not to have nice chests- remember?’

“The men?”

‘you know.’ Li whispers.

“What men?” I try again.

‘you know.’ he repeats with more emphasis on ‘know’ than before.

The men. The other men.

The men…

‘the ones who taught you about sex?’ he whispers. ‘you know. those men.’

Oh. Oh. Fuck.

Fuck.

‘remember?’ he says louder than before.

I sigh. “Yes, I remember.” Unfortunately.

He nods. ‘like mr. smith.’

“I don’t know who that is.” I groan.

‘the guy who gave you my box? you saw him for four years, ki ki. you think you’d remember him. he was fat- remember? and his penis wasn’t nearly as big as johnny’s. it was small. like a turtle. it kinda looked like a turtle. remember?’

Mr. Smith….

‘he had a bald spot?’

Fuck.

‘he taught you what sex was- remember? back when you didn’t like it?’

He’s talking about a fucking pedophile. Like it’s nothing.

‘remember? he had lots of presents? lots of shiny stuff. you like shiny stuff.’ he pauses. ‘do you still like shiny stuff? do your men give you presents now?’

“No, they don’t give me presents.” I snap.

Li looks up from my phone. ‘you got mad…. is it because you want them to give you presents?’

“Li. I got presents because those men were BUYING me. Johnny does not buy me.’

‘you’re not getting paid???? oh, ki ki that’s horrible! if the bastard comes back, he won’t be happy.’

There are so many things wrong with that statement that I don’t know where to start.

“Okay one,” I’ll start with the most obvious, “the bastard is not coming back. I left him. I tried to kill him and then Logan made him go away. He’s back in a small sense- but he’s not a part of my life.”

‘for now.’ Li scoffs. ‘you gotta be prepared. remember when he used to leave? and we thought he’d be gone forever? and ana the horrible ran the house?’

“Yes. I remember.” I can’t even get to two. He’s bulldozing me over.

‘but he always came back. with new people. new mr. smiths and mrs. smiths and new followers-‘

“Are you going to do this often?”

‘do what?’

“Drudge up horrible childhood memories?”

He pauses. ‘it’s all i got ki ki. we had a good time… but it wasn’t all good. remember?’

“Yes.” I sigh. “I remember.”

‘you know if you wanted to know where the bastard was, you could probably ask the queen.’ he says thoughtfully. ‘i bet she’d know.’

“The queen?” Now I’m confused again.

‘the pretty lady with the red hair.’

“Ana?” Ana had red hair.

‘no. the tall lady. with the sword.’ he stares at me for a long second. ‘you know. the bastard’s twin? she was mean sometimes- but not all the time. i bet she’d know where he was. and then we can attack. and lock him in the dungeon.’

Remus.

We don’t talk about Remus. Romulus rarely mentioned her. I think I’ve met her all of five times. I don’t even WANT to know how to begin to go about contacting her.

“Why do you want to lock him the dungeon? Surely there’s a more permanent way to deal with him.” Li doesn’t think like me. Li is from before when I used to think like that. He would probably hurt someone- maybe pretty badly- but he wouldn’t flat out kill them.

‘he separated us by locking you in the dungeon and locking me in my box. then he took the box and put it somewhere you would never find it. so we need to lock him in the dungeon until he’s sorry.’

I glance up at the ceiling and count down from ten. He did do that. Li’s right. Another fond childhood memory.

“They put him in jail. That’s like a dungeon.” I try to appease him. Fuck knows why- but I try.

‘did they hurt him?’

“Uh…. probably not.’

‘then it wasn’t a dungeon.’ he says ‘wisely’. ‘you know what’s in the dungeon. who’s down there.’

Who’s in the dungeon?

“Romulus?” I venture.

‘don’t say his name!’

I watch him for a long second as he covers his ears.

“He ran the dungeon,” I state. I’m sure of it.

‘no, ki ki. he didn’t.’

“Yes-“

‘NO. he didn’t.’

“Then how-“

‘the man with the bad teeth.’

“The man with the bad teeth?” I scoff. “Li that could be anyone.”

‘you’d remember this one if you saw him.’ Li whispers. ‘i remember him.’

“I don’t,” I confess.

Li shrugs. ‘we need to lock the bastard in the dungeon. soon.’

I’ll bite. “Why? Why soon?”

‘because if he comes back and you’re sleeping with men for no presents… and you’re willingly playing with yourself… and i’m here…. you’ll get whipped.’

“There are worse things in life.” I murmur- hoping he doesn’t pry.

‘but you hate whippings.’

“I do.”

I can’t stand them.

He did it when I first started chasing Logan. I hated him and Logan for that.

‘but you’re not scared?’

Compared to death by drowning? A whip is nothing.

“No,” I answer flatly. “Now give me my phone.”

‘phone? that’s a telephone?’ He sounds to be in awe. ‘so cool!’

“Yes. Very. Pass it over.”

Li hands me the phone and I debate over whether or not I should reply to Johnny. They’re nice pictures, after all. Don’t want him to think the gesture is unappreciated or unwanted.

‘are you gonna send him a picture back? i can help you take it! i know all your best sides! granted they’re a little bigger now…..’

That’s just…

“No, I’m not going to send him a picture back.” I snap. “Not with you watching.”

‘i’ll close my eyes!’

“Not helping.”

‘i can go invisible AND close my eyes.’ He offers. ‘what picture do you want to take? where’s your camera?’

“The camera is on the phone,” I tell him.

‘WHAT??? NO WAY!’ He goes to grab the phone from me again.

“No Li,” I growl, holding him back with one hand as he tries to practically climb up me to get to the phone in my hand. “Stay down there!”

‘i want to see where the camera is!’ He’s undeniably strong.

“It’s built it!” I snap. “You can’t see it!”

Li settles back down to the floor. ‘oh.’ he’s still staring at the phone. ‘so you can take pictures and send them to johnny right from your phone?’

I nod. “Yea. that’s usually how it works.’

‘then let me take your picture!’ Li cries, happily at that. ‘you want to make funny faces?’

“You don’t respond to naked pictures with funny faces.” I sigh.

‘oh. then you’ve got to get naked!’ He starts to get to his feet.

“DO NOT undress me!” I growl.

Li holds his hands in the air. ‘i just wanted to help you take the picture.’

“I don’t feel like taking a picture,” I admit.

‘mr. smith used to take pictures of you- remember? i used to help.’

“Oh my god.” I exhale loudly. “Li those are not good memories! Stop bringing them up!”

‘i just don’t know how much you remember, is all.’ Li says. ‘excuse me.’

Did I hurt his feelings? Wait a minute- fuck it. I don’t care about his feelings! He’s not real!

I don’t know what the fuck this is… but I need to figure it out.

“I’m sorry.” Is out of my mouth before I can stop it. “I didn’t mean to snap.”

Li smiles brightly. ‘there’s my boy. my good buddy.’

Li’s always sounded more American than Japanese. I guess I overheard some of Romulus’ operatives when I was young and making him up.

“I’m hungry,” I announce.

‘your refrigerator is empty.’ he says. ‘another sign that you have no fun.’

“I’ll order out.” I groan, not wanting to have further discussion about my lack of ‘fun’ in my life.

‘oh? you can do that?’

“I call the restaurant and they bring it to the house,” I explain.

‘that’s amazing!’

“To you, I’m sure.” I watch him for another second. “Do you eat?”

‘do I eat???’ He scoffs. ‘OF COURSE I EAT! remember? cookies? ice cream?’

“I didn’t know if my mind made that up.” I drawl.

‘you still think i’m fake.’ he says.

“I mean…” I run my hand through my hair. “Maybe?”

‘that’s okay, ki ki. in the beginning you didn’t think i was real either.’ He smiles. ‘you’ll come around in a bit. you’re just not used to me yet.’

Right. In the beginning.

Maybe if I trace this back to the beginning I can figure out why he’s here. Then maybe I can make him leave.

Though to be honest, traumatic childhood memories aside, I don’t really mind the company.

“I’ll order a pizza.”

‘pizza?’

“Pizza.” I nod. “Dough, tomato sauce, and cheese.”

‘yuck. why don’t we just eat cookies?’

“I’m not a child anymore, Li. I can’t live off of sweets. It’s bad for me.”

‘pssht. bad for you?? what do you mean bad for you? it tastes good. you like it. it makes you happy. logically that would mean it’s GOOD for you. right?’

“That’ s not how it works. I have to stay in shape.” I sigh.

‘what shape are you going for? round is a shape. like mr. smith. he was a circle basically. do you want to be round?’

“No, I don’t want to be round,” I say. “I want to stay in the best possible physical condition. I do a lot of work in spandex.”

‘spandex? like costumes? like mr. roger used to wear?’

I’m floored. “How do you remember these men so well?”

‘how can you not?’ he counters. ‘i was there. i saw everything. you remember. i would help you before ana the horrible would.’

Great. My only comfort after repeated sexual abuse was my imaginary friend. It’s like he’s shining a light on my past while yelling ‘look how fucked up this is!!!!’

When I’m silent he gasps. ‘you do remember who ana the horrible is- don’t you?’

“Ana the horrible,” I repeat. “Red hair. British. Slender. Long hands.” I recall. “Happy?”

‘cold hands. good bed time stories.’ He nods. ‘that’s her.’

“You’re right. Her stories were good.” I recall. This is pointless. Why do I need to remember these things? It’s doing me no good whatsoever. If anything this is a sore topic that can be used against me.

Especially with all the ‘bonding’ Logan was attempting to do today.

On that topic- I don’t even want to know why his girlfriend- of all people- was texting me. Like fuck I’m going to meet with him OR her. They can both fuck off.

I don’t need to be tripping over x-men when I’m trying to go about my daily business.

‘i told you one when you were going to sleep.’ he says with a nod. ‘it was your favorite. about the kids and the witch?’

“I remember, Li. It was just a few hours ago.”

‘a lot of hours ago.’ Li corrects. ‘you’ve been asleep for a while.’

I look at my phone. “It’s midnight???”

‘past your bedtime- young man.’ Li grins. ‘what do you want to do now that you’re awake?’

“Well, we can’t order food… everywhere that’s good is going to be closed.”

‘we can eat sweets after all?’

Oh hell.

“Go get them.” I sigh.

Li grins wider. ‘sweets! on a tuesday!’

He gets up and goes to the kitchen, returning with the Oreos, a tub of chocolate ice cream and two spoons. ‘i have killed dinner.’ he announces, handing me a spoon. He sits on the couch beside me.

“I can’t believe I’m eating all this sugar.” I grouse.

‘believe it.’ Li takes a huge scoop of ice cream. ‘we always wanted to have sweets for dinner. but NOOOOO ana made vegetables. always vegetables.’

“I like vegetables.”

‘no, you don’t.’ He scoffs. ‘that’s the brainwashing.’

This is going to be another pointless conversation. Might as well sit still, shut up, and eat the fucking ice cream.

Chocolate isn’t bad. It’s not my favorite flavor- however. WAIT.

“How did you meet me here with food?” I ask.

‘i got it from your neighbors.’

“You went in my neighbor’s apartment????”

‘they can’t see me, ki ki.’ He says. ‘plus no one was home. they have a cat though. i liked the cat.’

“But how did you know where I lived??”

‘no secrets between us- remember?’

“Are you in my head?”

‘hmmm… that’s a sensitive topic.’ He says. ‘you ask a lot more questions now.’

“Are you in my head?” I repeat.

He shakes his head.  
“Are you sure.”

‘i’m sure, ki ki. if i was in your head this would be a lot easier.’

Fuck me.

I don’t know what he is.  
I don’t know what he’s not.

I just don’t fucking know.

He watches me for a second. ‘you good?’

I sigh. “You don’t have any imaginary diseases I can catch by eating after you- do you?”

Li grins.

“Because as my ‘buddy’ you’d have to tell me up front.”

‘we can get the measles again.’ Li says.

“I don’t want the measles again.”

‘you were only sick for a day.’ he scoffs. ‘and ana the horrible made you soup- remember? she even made me a bowl. and ana the horrible never acknowledged i was in the room. even after all the tricks we played on her.’

“Why do you call her that?” I ask.

‘call her what?’

I scoop up some ice cream. “‘Ana the horrible’. You say the whole thing. Surely ‘Ana’ would suffice. It would save time too.”

‘proper names.’ Li says. ‘i’m showing her respect.’

“That is not a respectful name.” I scoff.

‘i dunno. i think she actually liked it.’

“She slapped me when I called her that,” I recall.

‘that’s because you made her mad. if she wasn’t mad she wouldn’t have slapped you.’

Can’t beat his logic.

And if you could- he probably wouldn’t back down anyway. Best to let him have his ‘point’.

The room is dark. In this low lighting, he looks ghostly almost.

There’s this gnawing feeling in my brain. It won’t leave me alone.

I need answers. This is obviously not some sort of psychotic episode… or it would be over by now. Right? I mean… how long do these things last? Logistically I wouldn’t be so calm if I were suffering from psychosis. I mean.. really.

So questions. Questions on top of questions and not a single answer to be found. I guess if I want to know the truth, I’ll have to ask the man himself. I can’t imagine it going over well…. but…

“Li- what are you?” I ask after a few minutes of watching him.

‘i’m me.’ He takes a big bite of ice cream.

“Yea, I got that. But what are you?”

‘li.’

“Okay, but what are you?”

‘a man.’

Getting warmer.

“An alive man?” I probe.

He smiles. ‘do you want me to be alive?’

I stare at him for a few moments. “I’m not sure.”

He shrugs. ‘then it really doesn’t matter- does it?’

I sigh. No more beating around the bush. “Are you a ghost?”

He grins. ‘you always called me a ghost.’

“Well, are you?”

He shrugs again.

“Can other people see you- if you wanted them to?”

He puts a finger to his lips and taps a few times. “i really don’t know. i’ve never really wanted anyone to see me.’

“Could Rom-“

‘don’t say his name ki ki!’ Li interrupts. ‘it’s one of the rules! it’s one of the rules and you keep breaking it! so stop!’

“Rules?”

He nods. “we have three rules. you know this.’

“I do?” We have rules? Since when?

I mean I’ve always been very practical- even as a child. I’m not ruling out the possibility that Li came with some kind of guidelines within to function. But… if there are rules- I should probably remember them.

he nods again. ‘rule number one- no calling the bastard anything other than the bastard, the mountainous bastard, or master- when you are around other people.’

Did I ever really harbor this much hate towards Romulus? That seems like something I would remember.

‘rule number two- buddies don’t have sex with buddies or touch in any inappropriate ways.’

I nod. That one makes sense, given all that he’s talked about tonight. I was young. I didn’t want my ‘friend’ to abuse me like everyone else.

‘rule number three- the last and most important.’

“Yes?”

‘don’t touch li’s box.’ He smiles. ‘my box. it’s dangerous.’

“Dangerous,” I repeat. “Dangerous how exactly?”

He nods. ‘you don’t want to go in my box. so leave it alone.’

“I already opened your box,” I tell him. Was he there for that? I hit my head as it was opening. If I’d stayed conscious would I possibly have seen him ‘escape’?

‘i know. you let me out! but if you open it too much, i might have to go back. only open it in emergencies.’

“Right. Emergencies.” I eat more ice cream.

‘what are you going to say to johnny if you won’t let me take your picture?’

I’d almost forgotten.

I pick the phone up and shoot him a quick message. Something along the lines of ‘busy. but very nice. will come back to this later.’

‘so… you don’t get paid to have sex with men… but you like it now.’

“I do like it now…. it’s consensual now.” The chocolate is a little… soothing almost? Fuck. Why don’t I eat more ice cream? This is amazing.

‘consensual- huh? that’s cool. i’m glad no one’s making you do it anymore. it must be more fun when you can pick and choose who you get to have sex with instead of the bastard telling you.’

“It’s very fun.” I agree.

‘does johnny stab you like the other man did?’

“Uh no. Lester and Johnny are very different.”

‘but you sleep with both of them.’ He says.

“Yes.”

‘and neither of them give you presents.’

“I don’t need presents- Li,” I say. “They’re not buying me. The deal used to be that they gave my master something he wanted and then gave me something for my ‘time’. It was just to keep me from getting too… upset.”

‘but you did get upset. we hid- remember? from mr. smith?’

“Li- please. No more childhood memories.” I beg, putting my spoon down on the coffee table.

‘it’s okay, ki ki. they can’t hurt you.’ he soothes. ‘just stories now. you’re too big for mr.smith to hurt- remember? he said he only liked you when you were little.’

“They hurt me a great deal,” I admit. “Even now.”

‘they make you sad still?’ He asks softly.

“Something like that.”

We’re quiet for a minute.

‘did you ever go talk to a grownup who didn’t work for the bastard? someone who could have helped?’

I close my eyes. “A few times.”

‘after I was gone?’

I nod.

‘i’m sorry i left.’ Li says. It sounds heartfelt. ‘i can only imagine what you did without me.’

“It’s fine.” I sigh. “I was brainwashed not long after…. too rebellious or some shit like that.”

‘but you remember?’

“Bits and pieces,” I say. “More and more the more you say things about it.”

‘then they must not have washed your brain well enough.’

“My healing factor will put my brain back to normal if it’s given enough time.” I agree. “Logan’s does it all the time.”

‘who’s logan?’ Li eats more ice cream. It’s like he never gets full.

“My father.”

‘your daddy.’ Li says. ‘where was he when you were with the bastard?’

“He thought I was dead.”

‘so he never showed up?’

“No.”

‘but it’s not his fault because he didn’t know you were alive.’

I turn on him, “It is his fault.” I growl. “He could have been more careful. He could have been safer. He could have been-“

‘ki ki, if he was more ‘careful’… you wouldn’t be here.’ He pauses. ‘you do want to be here, don’t you? you haven’t given up- have you?’

I inhale deeply. This? This I do not need. “Li, it’s late. I’m going to go to bed. Do you sleep?”

‘i sleep.’ Li says with a nod. ‘i sleep a lot. if you’re sleepy- we can go to bed. i don’t want to keep you up. buddies need their sleep.’

“Do you want the couch?” So he sleeps. A lot. I can get him to sleep… and slip away.

‘i sleep with you.’ He says firmly.

“No, no, no. We’re not sleeping together.”

‘we’ve always shared a bed- ki ki. and without usa here- you need me.’

“I sleep on my own just fine,” I assure him. “I don’t need you or a fucking rabbit. I’m an adult.”

‘okay mr ‘i’m an adult’. say what you want. but you have nightmares. i help.’

Wait…

“How did you know about that?”

‘about what?’

“My nightmares. No one knows about my nightmares.”

‘i do. that’s why i sleep with you. so you don’t have as many. i watch you to make sure you’re okay. and that no one comes in your room while you’re sleeping. do you get to sleep the full eight hours now? i know it used to only be three…. do you still do that?’

“I sleep eight or more hours.” I don’t know why I wouldn’t. “Like a normal adult.”

‘that’s good.’ he smiles. ‘rest is good. you used to be so sleepy all of the time.’

I can vaguely remember a lot of my early childhood being spent in some state of exhaustion now that he mentions it.

“You’re not sleeping with me.” I bring us back to the problem at hand. “You can have the couch or the bed- wherever. Just not with me.“

‘i’ve seen your bed, ki ki. i know there’s enough space for both of us.’

“It’s not about space,” I growl. “I don’t want to sleep with you.”

‘i keep you safe.’ Li sounds offended.

“Li does it look like anyone’s going to hurt me tonight?”

‘the bastard used to hurt you a lot at night.’ He says.

“The bastard is not here. He doesn’t know where I am. You don’t have to protect me from him- I promise.”

Li stares at me for a minute- wide eyes unblinking. ‘can’t do it, good buddy. i’m sleeping with you. i don’t sleep well without you either.’

“We haven’t seen each other in over sixty years. I’m sure both of us will be fine.” I scoff.

‘i’ve been trapped in my box. it wasn’t sleeping but it wasn’t not sleeping. this will be the first time i’ve gone to bed. and i want to go to your bed. so let’s go. you’re sleepy. time for bed.’

“Li-“

‘time for bed.’ he motions with his hand. ‘so get up. come on ki ki. it’s time to do night time things.’

“I’m not a child,” I growl. “You can’t put me to bed like one.”

‘you’re sleepy. sleep is important. let’s go. chop chop.’

Li’s not giving up.

“Maybe I don’t want to go to bed anymore.”

It’s childish… fuck. That’s the word of the night- isn’t it? Childish? This whole thing is childish.

‘you are exhausted.’ Li says firmly. ‘go brush your teeth and your hair and go to bed. i’ll tuck you in.’

“I don’t need to be tucked in.” I groan.

‘you live by yourself?’ Li asks.

“Yes.”

‘all by yourself?’

I nod.

‘then who takes care of you, ki ki?’

“I take care of me. I’ve always taken care of me. That’s-“ 

‘that’s a lie.’ Li snaps. “I took care of you. you know i did. and i’m going to do it again. so let’s go.’

“Li-“

‘to bed, mister.’ he orders, standing to his feet.

I glare at him. “Fine,” I say sullenly. “I will go to bed. Provided you don’t accompany me.”

‘i’ll just wait til you’re asleep and crawl in with you anyway. save us both some time. did you stop to think that i may be tired too?’

“Can you get tired?”

He nods. ‘i’ve been in my box for a while. today’s been pretty long for me.’

I sigh. “Fine. Sleep in the bed with me. I’m over it.”

I push past him and go into my bedroom. My bed is big enough for the two of us. Quite possibly big enough for us to not even touch each other. It’s custom made in the way of both the frame and the mattress. The headboard is wrought iron consisting of swirls and loops- something that looks almost medieval.

The bed is the only thing in this room.

I’m all about simplicity.

I could afford more things- I choose not to have them. Having that control makes me feel better.

‘teeth and hair, ki ki.’

“I know, Li.” I groan.

I’m still wearing what passes for my costume these days. Black jeans and a hoodie I often remove. I don’t like hiding behind masks. Not when it’s something as simple as a recon mission.

I remove the hoodie with my back to the doorway, stopping mid motion when I hear a loud hiss.

‘ouchie.’

“Hmm?”

‘your tattoo. did it hurt?’

“Not really.”

‘but you don’t like needles.’

I shrug the rest of the hoodie off and go for my pants.

“I’m okay with needles.”

‘no, you’re not. when they used to take your blood you hated it.’

I stare at the floor. “Remember that thing I said about not bringing up any bad childhood memories?”

Li nods.

“You’re doing it again.”

He frowns. ‘hair and teeth.’

I sigh, removing my pants and walking over to the bathroom in my briefs.

My bathroom is a little bigger than absolutely necessary. it houses both a tub and a shower- each on opposite sides of the far wall. Two sinks connected by a marble counter, and a mirror that takes the entire wall running behind the two sinks.

In the mirror- my reflection doesn’t look nearly as tired as I feel.

I brush my teeth with no interruption from Li- thankfully.

Once I spit, I grab my comb and work it through the tangled mess that is my hair. I should have trimmed a little when I last got it cut. I experimented with letting the sides grow out a little before deciding to shave them again. I like my hair as is. I don’t care to change it anytime soon.

When I exit the bathroom, Li’s sitting on my bed, holding my phone.

“What are you doing?” I ask suspiciously.

‘getting you ready for bed.’

“With my phone?”

He nods.

I walk over and take it from him. “What did you do?”

‘nothing.’

I look at my recent texts screen. “Who did you text?” I demand.

‘no one.’ he doesn’t look at me.

“Who did you text, Li?”

‘i’m getting you ready for bed.’ he repeats.

“Who did you text Li???”

The phone vibrates in my hand as a text comes in. It’s Laura’s number. ‘of course you can, daken. I knew you’d want him eventually.’ She texts.

I click the text and read what he sent her.

“Dammit Li!” I growl. “I do not need the fucking rabbit! It’s midnight! She can’t stop what she’s doing and bring me a stuffed toy! Do you know how insane this makes me sound??”

‘you need usa.’ he says with a nod. ‘i’m just doing my job, ki.’

“Well stop.” I hiss. I send Laura back, ‘never mind. I don’t need it. You can keep it. Sorry to bother you.’

The original text was ‘can you bring me the rabbit. I’m having trouble sleeping… think it could help.’ It doesn’t even sound like me. At least he didn’t call it ‘usa’.

‘you need usa, akihiro.’ Li says sternly. ‘he helps you sleep.’

“Fuck you.” I snap. “I do not need-“

‘are you sure?’ comes her reply. ‘it’s no trouble. Gabby and I were out anyway.’

Li is suddenly behind me, reading over my shoulder. ‘who’s Gabby?’

I jump a little ungracefully. I’m glad no one was here to witness it. No one real- at any rate.

“My sister’s… daughter.” I pause. “I think.”

‘you’re an uncle???’ Li grins. ‘to a kid??’

“She’s hardly a ‘kid’.” I dismiss. “She’s like.. thirteen.” I think. I don’t know. We’ve met a few times. I’ve been pleasant towards her and she never seems to take much of an interest in me.

‘No. It’s fine.’ I text her back.

‘we got him a friend.’ She says. “it was Gabby’s idea.’

‘oooooh. we never got usa a friend. he was our only toy.’

‘is that what you’re doing out?’

there’s an immediate, ‘No. We were visiting Warren. Usa and the rest of your things are still in my car.’

Ah. The boyfriend.

‘how’s he like Gabby?’  
‘they seemed to get along quite nicely, actually.’ Laura texts. ‘we were going to hit a drive thru… have you eaten?’

Ah… no.  
Not really. But is drive thru food any better than sugar laden food?

‘Actually, no.’

‘what’s a drive thru?’ Li asks.

“Fastfood.” I tell him. “usually fatty and disgusting.”

‘i wanna try some!’ Li says, clapping his hands.

‘I can bring you something.’ Laura says. ‘If you’re not busy. We’re near your apartment.’

I sigh and think about it for a second. Fast food is better than no food. And it’s got meat. Protein. Even if it’s disgusting over processed deep fried meat.

‘You really don’t have to come over.’ I tell her.

‘I wanted to check on you anyway.’ she texts. ‘You weren’t acting right when you left.’

‘see? your sister knows something is off.’ Li nods. ‘you need usa.’

“Stop reading over my shoulder.” I snap, pushing on him.  
He’s solid now. Unlike when I tried to touch him in the cab.

‘it’s been a weird day.’ I admit to her.

‘trying- i’m sure. then there was the jet ride. that was taxing. and your head injuries… did you go home when you left? have you slept?’

‘are you going to tell her about fucking the bald man for no money?’ Li asks, once again behind my shoulder.

“No.” I snap.

‘why not?’

“She doesn’t approve,” I say simply.

He gasps. ‘you’re sister doesn’t approve and you’re seeing him anyway???’

“I’m an adult, Li,” I growl- for the millionth time.

‘still seems like you should listen to her. the man wasn’t very nice. and i’m sorry- i don’t mean to insult you ki ki- but you’d make a terrible princess.’

I count back from ten.

‘I had a few things to do.’ I tell her. ‘but when I got home, I took a nap.’

‘that’s good.’ she texts back. ‘I’ll bring you something to eat. I think we’re hitting a Burger King.”

‘thanks. I’ll owe you.’

I look over my shoulder. “Are you happy now? Laura’s coming over. That means neither of us is going to bed.”

‘i am happy now, thank you very much.’ Li crosses his arms. ‘lay down. you can rest until she gets here.’

I glare at him.

Li pats my gray bedspread with the palm of his hand. ‘come on sleepy head. little nap.’

Oh, fuck it.

I lay down on top of the comforter. There’s a breeze coming from my ceiling fan, which spins quietly over head.

‘ki ki?’ Li asks.

“What?” I groan, eyes closed.

‘did you ever go looking for me?’

I have to think about it. “Yes,” I say honestly. “I did.”

‘was i always in his bedroom?’

“No.”

‘why was my box in his bedroom now?’

“That’s…” a good question. He hid Li’s box. So why was it out in the open? It’s not like he was reminiscing. Or if he was- it’s freaky and I don’t want to know about it. “He had a kid at the compound recently. Maybe they went looking for you.”

‘a kid?’

I nod. “There were bloody handprints in my old room.. but everything else was coated in dust.”

Romulus’ room wasn’t that dusty- come to think of it. It’d been used.

‘ah.’ he sits up. ‘another kid.’

“Yea.”

‘we should definitely lock him in the dungeon then. to keep the kid safe.’

I crack an eye open. “We’ll get right on that.”

‘tomorrow?’

“Sure. Whatever.”

‘that’s awesome ki ki! i knew you could be a hero.’

I groan and put my pillow over my ears- blocking him out.

‘that’s pointless with how good your hearing is but hey- if you want to cover your head- cover your head.’

We lay in silence for a few minutes. Suddenly I feel something cold sneaking up my back.

“Li?”

‘hmmm?’

“What are you doing?”

‘scratching your back.’ He says simply.

“…Why?”

‘just cause.’

It’s relaxing… but his hands are cold. Further proof that he’s a ghost?

Or just cold natured.

“Your hand is cold.”

‘your skin is just hot.’ he sits up again. ‘are you running a fever?’

“No.”

‘how do you know?’

“Healing factor.”

‘you’re running a fever.’ he says. ‘where’s your thermometer?’

“I don’t have one.” I yawn. “I’m fine.”

‘no, no, no. you’re sick.’

“I’m not sick.” I groan.

‘I need to take your temperature.’

“No, you don’t.” I pat the bed. “Lay back down. I’m fine.”

He’s quiet for another few minutes. ‘you could be sick.’ He says quietly.

“Li! I’m fine.” I growl.

‘you’re running hot.’

“I’m fine.”

‘you might have an infection.’

“When would I have gotten an infection??”

‘when your friend stabbed you in the hand. maybe the blade was dirty. it was in a bathroom.’

“Healing factor will take care of any invisible infection.” I groan.

‘i really think we should take your temperature.’

“Well, we can’t.”

‘i’m gonna find a thermometer.’

“You do that.” I groan, turning away from him.

Li pats my back. ‘wait here good buddy.’

“Sure. Whatever.”

The room gets blissfully silent. It’s almost enough to start snoozing. Just when I’m to that comfortable stage of sleep, foot steps come back into the room.

‘you did have a thermometer!’ Li says. ‘turn over.’

“I’m already on my back.” I groan.

‘thermometer’s don’t go in mouths.’

My eyes flash open. “Drop it.”

Li’s eyes are wide. ‘what?’

“The thermometer. It’s not coming anywhere near me.”

‘ki you could have an infection.’ Li says. ‘we need to check your temperature.’

“One- there is no infection. Two- that is an oral thermometer.” I sit up in bed. “Got it? It goes nowhere near my ass.”

‘okay, okay.’ Li says, dropping the thermometer on the bed. ‘just take your temperature- okay?’

I groan and pick up the thermometer, placing it under my tongue. “Happy?”

He nods.

I push the button and wait an annoying amount of time for the thermometer to beep.

“98.7,” I tell him. “I’m fine.”

he frowns. ‘you feel hot.’

“Well, I’m not.”

‘maybe if we took your temperature the RIGHT way we could get a more accurate reading.’

“This IS the right way,” I growl.

‘rectal thermometers are what ana the horrible used and-‘

“Stop.” I hold up a hand. “I’m fine. Lay down.”

Li glares at me but walk around the side of the bed and lays down. ‘you could be sick.’ he sulks.

“I’m not sick,” I assure him.

‘you could have an infection.’

“I don’t have an infection.”

‘you could be dying.’  
That makes me laugh. “I am not dying. Calm down.”

We go silent again. Just as it gets comfortable, there’s a knock on the door.

“Fuck.” I groan.

‘should i open it?’ He asks.

“Can you open it?”

He nods. ‘they won’t see me though.’

I weigh it out. “No,” I say finally. “That’ll freak them out.”

‘then you better answer.’

I roll out of bed, throw some sweats on, and walk to the door. I get there just in time for them to knock again.

When I open the door they’re standing together with food bag in hand and - to my dismay- the fucking rabbit.

‘usa!’ Li cries. ‘look ki ki! your sister is the best! i like her already.’

“I brought the rabbit.” Laura cuts me off before I can address the subject. “If you decide you don’t want it- I’ll take it with me.”

“Come in.” I sigh.

Gabby smiles and offers me a brown, grease stained, bag. “We got you a cheeseburger, chicken nuggets, and french fries because we didn’t know what you’d want.’

“That works.”

‘food? is that the food? oh, it smells great! what can i have? will you let me try some? i really want to try some.’

I glare at him while closing the door.

‘you’re probably not going to talk to me with them here… right.’ Li nods. ‘that’s okay. just set some to the side. i’ll eat it once they leave!’

Fuck.

‘your sister is pretty! like you! that’s saying something.’

Laura takes a seat on my couch and starts to dig through a second bag.

“Ice cream!” Gabby points. “Can I have some?”

“Sure.” I nod.

She races over to the table and picks up a spoon.

“Why do you have two spoons?” Laura asks while setting out two separate cheeseburgers on the coffee table.

“I uh- thought one of you would like some,” I say smoothly.

“how… thoughtful.” Laura smiles. “How are you feeling?”

‘sick. like you have an infection.’ Li says.

“A little off if we’re being honest.” I try to keep my eyes on Laura. Even as Li steps beside her.

‘like you have an infection.’

“Off?” She unwraps her burger. “Still?” She takes a bite while Gabby scoops up some ice cream with Li’s discarded spoon.

“I must be tired.” I let Gabby have the other side of the couch, opting to sit on the floor and set my bag on the table in front of me.

‘like you have an infection.’

“You do look a little out of it,” Gabby says, eating the ice cream in scoops that make Li’s earlier ones look small.

I nod. “Long day.”

“Eat your food,” Laura tells me, taking another bite. “It’ll help.” She says after she swallows.

I unwrap my burger and take a bite.

‘that looks SO GOOD!’ Li cries happily. ‘gimmie a bite!’

I glare at him.

‘ki ki- give me a bite. no. as your good buddy, i DEMAND it.’

I give a minute shake of my head.

‘i fed you.’ he whines.

I try to stay focused as Laura and Gabby start to talk about their evening with Warren. Politely engaging and-

‘give me some of your burger- pplllllleeeeaaasssssse. i’m withering over here!’ He grabs my hand that holds the burger and starts to pull it towards his mouth- which is located over my shoulder.

“Warren-“ Laura stops. “What are you doing?”

They can’t see Li. It looks like I’m holding my food almost behind me, in the air by my face- when in reality, he’s trying his damnedest to get it to his mouth. If he takes a bite- they’ll know something is up for sure.

‘they won’t see me.’ he whines. ‘come on ki ki. one little bite.’

“Daken?”

“I’m letting it cool.” I use every bit of strength that i can put into it to hold my arm completely still. “Thought it would get cooler this way.”

Gabby is the first to say, “That’s weird.”

‘almost.’ Li whines. ‘come on ki ki. one bite. they won’t see- i promise.’

I glare at him, quickly.

“Who are you looking at?” Laura asks.

“No one,” I say quickly. “Just checking over my shoulder. Back to the door and all that.”

‘hmm….. it smells so good! lemme have it!!!’

The burger starts to move again.

“Daken- what are you doing with your arm?” Laura asks. “Seriously. You’re acting very odd.”

“Odd? I’m not acting odd. I always eat like this…. it’s like a … mini workout.”

“Burn calories while you eat them??” Gabby asks. “What a good idea!” She starts to move her spoon around. It’s ridiculous and cute at the same time. I doubt I look like that.

“You do not eat like that,” Laura says. “Are you okay?”

“I’m…” My arm is moving.

‘come one…’ Li grunts.

“I-“

‘almost!’

“I have an infection!” I say suddenly, stopping Li in his tracks.

“Oh?” Laura asks.

‘ I KNEW IT!’ Li cries. ‘ i knew it. you’re sick. oh, you need a thermometer that takes temperature the RIGHT way, and potions for your tummy, and herbs for your boo boos, and,” he pauses. ‘so many things!’

He doesn’t let go of my hand.

I nod. “I’m getting very sick. Which is why… I’m acting weird. I think it’s messing with my brain.”

Li releases my hand, finally. ‘i love you good buddy- but i can’t eat after you if you’re sick.’ He stands up. ‘i’ll go get your sick things ready.’

I don’t want to know what ‘sick things’ are.

“Where did you get an infection from?” Laura asks.

“I was stabbed today.”

“By who?” Her voice drips with concern.

‘it’s okay ki ki. you can tell her.’ Li gets up and leaves the room, going to do ‘sick things’.

“Lester….?” I offer.

Laura frowns. “Really? Still??? He’s no good-“

I put my hand on my forehead. “I really don’t feel well.” This should stop her.

“No wonder.” She says. “If he stabbed you there’s no telling what he did to the blade. It could be something truly vile with you in mind. You should be in bed.” She looks at Gabby. “Don’t eat any more ice cream, Gabby.” She tells her. “We don’t know if Daken is contagious or not.”

Story sold.

I hear Li moving around in the kitchen. Laura and Gabby, however, do not. It’s the strangest thing.

‘you don’t have any ginger.’ Li calls. ‘i should go to your neighbors-‘

I shake my head hard- hoping he takes the message.

“You should be in bed,” Laura says firmly. “Here- let me help you.” She stands to her feet and offers me her hand.

I take it and let her pull me to my feet ‘stablizing’ my ‘feeble’ sick body. All this fuss just so they don’t know Li’s here. Honestly. This is too much. Even for me.

Laura walks me back to my bed. “I’ll check in on you in the morning.” She says gently. “Try and get some sleep.”

She pulls the blankets back and lets me slide under.

“Thank you.”

She nods. “I’ll put your food in your refrigerator on the way out.”

I nod.

Laura takes my hand and squeezes it. “Feel better.” She says. “I don’t like it when you’re sick.”

She doesn’t. I think back to the time I was dismembered and shudder.

“Chills?” She asks gently.

“Something like that.”

Laura stares at me for a second. “Get some sleep.” She repeats. “You’ll feel better in the morning.”

‘hate to break up the sissy moment,’ Li walks through Laura, coming straight through her chest, ‘but you don’t have any tea. how can i make you better without tea???’

I close my eyes and count down from ten.

“I’ll see myself out,” Laura says quietly, squeezing my hand one final time and letting go, backing out through the door and shutting it behind her.

I wait until I hear the front door shut to turn on my friend. “What were you thinking?” I growl.

‘doesn’t matter.’ he almost purrs. ‘you’re sick. sick boys need special arrangements.’

“I’m not sick- Li. I just said that so they’d leave.”

‘you are sick. and now you’re saying you’re not because you don’t want to see the doctor.’

“Doctor?”

he nods. ‘but your old doctor is dead…. so i’m just going to try my best to remember what he did and do that- okay? if worse comes to worse, your healing factor will kick in any way. so there’s no way i could do anything too wrong.’

Oh fuck. Is there really a point in fighting with him? Really?

“Fine.” I sigh. “Doctor me.”

He nods, picking up the thermometer. ‘now turn over.’

“Li,” I growl. “Oral temperatures only. Got it?”

‘fine, fine.’ he says. ‘i’ll just wait til you’re sleeping.’

Damnit all. It sounds like it’s going to be a long night already.


	4. A meal, a talk, a new direction

Sleep has been a bust. Li’s been bothering me insistently. On top of that, his medical ‘knowledge’ is surprisingly lacking. In a major way. 

  
Li does not know the simplest forms of first aid. He’s clueless. Like a child. A big, strong, uneducated child. He doesn’t possess a single bone of common sense in his entire body. 

‘Infection’? Bandages! No wound? Bandages! Still no wound? Hydrogen peroxide on where he thinks  the wound was. Because that can sink into the skin- you know. That didn’t work? Ice! No ice? Check the reflexes! Good reflexes? Check the tonsils! Can’t find the tonsils? Randomly poke the neck and try to inspect the throat. That didn’t work? Try pain pills! Pain pills working too well? More ice! Ice not working? Bandages! 

This has gone on literally ALL night. ALL night. There has been no sleep. None.  
  
Needless to say, I’m a little pissed. 

Li? He doesn’t care. He’s playing doctor! He’s having the time of his life! It’s all some weird twisted game for him. “i’ll make you better ki ki. i promise. we just need to rewrap your hand! or take your temperature! can you roll over? you know there’s only one right way to take a temperature.” He said. Repeatedly. All night. 

And as much as I am a fan of ass play- this wasn’t flying. 

He effectively managed to get me to strip with his constant annoyances. But when he brought out the petroleum jelly- I drew the line. Playing is fine. Whatever. Inserting something inside of me? No. No way in hell. 

 With all this in mind- his ‘cures’ for my invisible infection have been worse than the ‘Illness’ itself. 

I started to suffer headaches from the amount of sheer frustration he was causing me. 

Of course he saw this as a sign of the infection spreading.  
  
So…. More ice! 

But we didn’t have any more ice. So he used ice cream. 

Now the bed is stained with a sugary scented, sticky, wet, mess. 

Around two this morning, I told him I was feeling better. That’s around the time he suggested finding some leeches. 

Once again making me wonder what time frame my good buddy is from. 

Because I know growing up, no one thought leeches and blood letting were good forms of medical treatment. 

I finally got some sleep around five- when he was properly satisfied that his work was done and curled up really close to me- too close to be comfortable- and went to sleep. 

Whatever. Sleep is sleep. 

I toyed with the idea of sneaking off once he was out…. but I was too tired to think properly. 

My bed is a mess of first aid supplies. Bandages, gauze, hydrogen peroxide, disinfectant, pain pills- the works. All spread out over the available space. I’ve had to kick some aside to be able to get into a comfortable position to sleep. 

When the alarm sounds on my phone I am nowhere near ready to get up. 

Beside me, Li jerks awake with such ease that it’s slightly spine tingling. 

‘noise.’ He nods to the phone. 

“It’s my alarm.” I close my eyes and roll over in the phone's direction, feeling around for it on the bed and tapping the screen until my finger finds the correct button to turn it off. 

‘then it’s time to get up.’ Li’s voice moves further away, hinting that he’s left the bed. 

“No.” I groan. “You kept me up all night. I’m sleeping in.” 

 ‘no can do, good buddy.’ Li says, voice moving closer as he moves to my side of the bed. ‘when it’s time to get up- it’s time to get up. we’ve got stuff to do today. remember? we’ve got to find the queen. and then the bastard.’ He pauses. ‘and you only didn’t sleep because you were sick and wouldn’t sleep with usa.’ 

 “For the last time-“

‘you don’t need the rabbit.’ He says. ‘so you say. and i’ve been telling you-‘ 

 Argh. This could go on all morning. I might as well just accept my fate and sleep with the fucking thing. 

However, it’s a point of pride now. And where Li is concerned, my dignity has taken some major hits over the last day. Every ‘pride point’ I can get I need to make count. 

So no. No, I will not be sleeping with Usa anytime soon. Li can shove it up his ass. 

 “Li.” I open my eyes. “Let’s drop it, okay? We keep having this fight. I don’t want to fight anymore- no one’s winning.” 

 Well… technically I’m winning- I guess. But if I don’t point it out I know he won’t. I hope he hasn’t even realized it yet. 

 Li frowns, putting his hands on his hips. ‘you make taking care of you so difficult now. it used to be that i would tell you something- and you would do it. can we go back to that?’ 

 I sit up on the bed, letting the blankets pool at my lap. “I’m not seven anymore, Li. I’m not going to blindly trust what you say. I have questions. I have my own ideas. You need to learn how to compromise.” 

 ‘compromise?’ He cocks an eyebrow. ‘compromise.’ he repeats. ‘i need to learn how to compromise.’ 

 “Compromise.” I agree. “Like last night. When I said I was fine you should have dropped it.” 

 ‘but you weren’t fine.’ 

 I stare at him for a second. 

 ‘you weren’t. you were running hot. you said you didn’t have a nurse anymore- i had to take care of you. like i used to. you think you can take care of yourself- but you can’t. i know this. it’s my job to help you. you make this job increasingly more difficult the longer we’re together.’ 

 I’m… “Am I frustrating you?” I smirk. 

 ‘yes, quite honestly.’ Li nods. ‘now get out of bed. it’s time to get up.’ 

 So I’m frustrating him, hmm? How much patience does he have? Could I possibly run him off just by being stubborn and noncooperative?

 Might as well give it a shot. 

 I smile at him. “No.” 

 ‘no?’ 

 “No.” 

 ‘ki ki, you’re going to get in trouble.’ he hisses. 

 “By who?” I laugh. “The bastard doesn’t live here. Ana doesn’t live here. No one is in charge of me! How could staying in bed possibly get me in ‘trouble’ ?” 

 ‘you’ll get in trouble.’ he hisses. ‘come on. get out of bed. you have to take a bath.’ 

 I exhale loudly, counting down from ten. “Li, please. I would like to get some more sleep.” 

The room is comfortable and warm. I like it when it’s warm. It was slightly chilly yesterday. A small preview of the weather to come, I’m told. Given that it’s about mid-October at the moment. 

 I like the warm room. I like the warm blankets. The comfortable mattress. All of the above. 

I don’t want to move. Let alone leave. 

 ‘that’s too bad, buddy.’ Li says gently if I’m not mistaken. ‘it’s time to get up. if you like, later on, you can take a nap. how’s that sound? a little nap?’ 

 “I’m going back to bed,” I growl, laying back down. 

 ‘it’s time to get up.’ Li says. 

 “You didn’t know it was time to get up until my alarm went off.” I close my eyes. “We can live with me sleeping another hour.” 

 ‘hour??? hour??? you never sleep in a whole hour!!! what are you thinking??? you’ll get whipped for sure…. you know you will. come on ki ki this is ridiculous! you’re gonna get hurt! do you want to be hurt? you’ll be whipped for sure!’ He grabs my hand and starts pulling. 

I’m surprised by the amount of strength he houses.

 “Li stop!” I demand. 

He successfully pulls me out of the bed. I land face first in the carpet, followed to the ground by several rolls of gauze.  

 “Li,” I growl. “What the fuck???” 

 ‘it’s time to get up.’ He crouches down and pats my head. ‘you’ll thank me later.’ 

 Oh no I won’t. That’s for sure.  
  
He kept me up last night. He made me get up this morning- nothing will set this right until I’ve gotten a proper amount of sleep. ‘

I start to climb back into the bed only to be snagged around the waist.  
  
‘we have things to do today ki ki!’ Li grunts. ‘the bastard is at large! we have to stop him!’ 

 “Li!” I snap. 

 ‘i’m helping you!’ He cries. 

 “Let go!” 

 He doesn’t release me. He jerks to the side and I end up tangled up with him on the floor- a mess of limbs and punching. 

 ‘don’t hit!’ Li whines. 

 “Let go!” I repeat in a low growl. 

 The room is quiet as we fight, him finally rolling over on top of me and holding me down. 

 ‘it’s time for a bath.’ he pants. ‘and you promised we’d find the bastard today! you promised! we have to save that kid! you know we do!’ 

 I stare up at him, undeniably shocked that he can hold me down like this. “Have you always been this strong?” 

 He nods. 

 “Always- always?” 

 ‘always.’ 

 Why would I need a friend this strong? Why would I- 

 ‘so i could protect you.’ He cuts me off. ‘that’s my job, ki ki. but you won’t let me do it.’ 

 “I don’t need to be protected.” I try to reason with him. “I’m seventy-seven, a trained killer, and I have built in weapons. Why would I need you to protect me?” 

 ‘you just do.’ He shrugs, letting go of my hands. ‘don’t ask me. you’re the one who opened my box. you’re the one who went looking for me. and now you have the nerve to act all upset when i show up. it’s like you completely blocked me out.’ 

 That hits a chord a tad too close to home. “Look-“ 

 ‘the bastard changed you.’ He hisses, looking away from me. 'you’re not the boy i remember.’ 

 I glance up at him in all of his glory. Pale skin, wide blue eyes, bare chest, hair hanging around his face- he’s so familiar.  
  
I mean he has to be. I made him up - right? I mean- 

 “I’m sorry,” I say. “He did.” 

 ‘and i have to change you back.’ Li looks back to me. ‘it’s my job. you’re not happy like this.’ 

 “That’s presumptuous to assume-“ 

 ‘you’re not, ki ki. when you got away from the bastard i thought you’d find your family. find a partner. be happy. i always wished the best for you- you know that….’ he sits on top of me, but doesn’t hold me down. ‘and this isn’t the best for you. you live by yourself, you found your dad but you hate him for some reason-‘ 

 “Hey-“ 

 ‘you found your sister but you won’t let her help you. you found TWO guys but you don’t love either of them and have you thought about having kids? then you’d have someone to play with.’ 

 “I never wanted kids- you know that.” I sigh. “Grownups hurt children… and I’m no exclusion.” 

 Li stares at me. ‘you’re not happy.’ He restates. ‘whatever life you were meant to have….. this isn’t it.’ 

 We’re silent for a long time before I say very quietly, “I know. I know how fucked up I am- okay? Is that what you want to hear? I’m doing the best I can.” I can’t stand to see the look on his face, so I turn away. 

 Li turns by head back. ‘ki ki- that’s why i’m here.’ he says gently. ‘to get you where you need to be…. i wouldn’t hurt you. you’ve got to trust me.’ 

 I close my eyes and inhale deeply. “It’s not about whether or not you would hurt me. It’s…. like you said. I’m not the same kid you knew. That was years ago. If you stay here- you might not like what you see…. I’m different. I’m cold. I’m mean. I’m violent. I’m all the things we said I would never be and-“ 

 ‘have you tried… not being like that?’ he interrupts. 

 That stops me. 

 ‘you’re like that because he made you be. have you tried doing the opposite?’ 

 Actually … yes. With Laura. 

 “With Laura,” I tell him. “I’m different with Laura.” 

 ‘then you need to spend more time with her.’  He says simply. 

 “It’s not that easy- it takes a lot of effort.” 

 ‘but is it worth the effort?’ he asks. 

 I stare at him again. How was I ever guided by someone this …. childlike?  
  
Sure he’s an adult… but his mannerisms…. and even his vocabulary at times- is so, so, so childish. 

 “Get off of me.” I pat his left calf. “I need to take a shower.” 

 The fight to stay in bed has gone out of me. I can’t even be spiteful with him. In a sense, I really do think he’s trying to help me. And as much as I hate to admit it… maybe accepting the help wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing. 

 I could use some self-improvement. Have a little growth, as it were. It won’t kill me. 

At least I don’t think it will. Li’s proven to be mighty. I don’t know what will happen if he ever decides I’m not worth the effort.  
  
Would he hurt me? 

 I mean could he hurt me? He’s not real… right?  
  
But he held me down pretty easily. A trick of the mind? 

 What if I’m laying here with absolutely nothing on top of me? 

What would someone else see if they were to walk into the room right now?  
  
How would I possibly explain this? 

I can’t fake an infection every time he wants to act out in front of someone. 

And I saw last night that he can move me in front of others. 

If nothing else they’ll see my behavior as ‘erratic’. And I don’t need that. I’m dangerous. If I prove to be dangerous and erratic? That’s grounds for authoritative action. And I just know a certain hairy dwarf who’d love a reason to take ‘authoritative’ action. 

If Logan thought something was wrong- particularly something mental? Oh he’d have a field day. And with his buddies and connections? I could easily end up in some institution licking the windows. Zonked out on the finest medications money could buy.  
  
And would they believe me when I told them it was an imaginary man from my childhood?  
  
Fuck no they wouldn’t. Not in the slightest. It would add fuel to the fire.  
  
And fuck does that fire not need fuel. 

 Li gathers himself and stands to his feet. 

 “Put some clothes on,” I tell him, sitting up. 

Li snaps his fingers and shorts and a tee shirt materializes on him. Jean shorts- god help us- and a black shirt. Something tight that shows off his muscular frame.  
  
Fuck. Why did I have to make him so strong?  
  
I guess… at the time, I was surrounded by people with bodies like his. I mean with the amount of time I spent with Romulus- I’m surprised he isn’t bigger.  
  
That? That would be too much.  
  
Which brings me to the point of Li waking me up this morning. I told him we could stop Romulus.   
  
Sure I could enlist help to do so… but how would I go about explaining it? 

 Surely S.H.I.E.L.D has plans for him. I mean he was in prison right? They’ll want to put him back.  
  
And if I kill him- if I actually pull it off- I could face charges for doing so.  
  
Sure, Logan wouldn’t. He gets away with that shit. But I’m not Logan. (Thank god) 

 ‘whatcha thinking about?’ Li asks, extending a hand to me. 

 I take his hand and let him pull me to my feet. “Nothing.” 

 ‘you’re a good liar, ki. but you’re not that good.’ 

 Oh really? No one's ever called me a bad liar before. I’ve always been quite talented in that aspect. How could he possibly know I was lying? It was just a sentence. Is my behavior off? Is it something I should be mindful of?  “You can read me?” 

 He nods. ‘of course i can. who do you think taught you how to lie?’ 

 “I always assumed it was a means of survival,” I mumble.

 ‘it was. but you picked it up from me. i told you what to say. if you didn’t bring up me telling you what you were saying to whoever you were saying it to- it usually worked.’ 

 Except for Romulus. I could never lie to him.  
  
Part of me didn’t even want to try. The fear of being caught in a lie was enough to stop me in my tracks. And that’s saying something. I have very little fears. 

 ‘bath.’ Li says gently. ‘now.’ 

 “Shower.” I correct. “It will be faster.” 

 He grins. ‘fast huh? so we are going to do stuff today- i take it?’ 

 I nod. “We’ve got some leads to follow… if we play it carefully.” 

 ‘super careful.’ Li nods. ‘they won’t even know i’m here.’ 

 “Good.” I walk to the bathroom. “Let’s keep it that way. If they think I’m talking to my imaginary friend they’ll lock me up for sure.” 

‘i don’t see why.’ Li scoffs. ‘tons of people have ‘imaginary’ friends. i saw them all the time when we visited the village.’ 

 “Village?” I ask curiously. 

 ‘outside of the compound. ana the horrible would take us so you would learn how to read people- remember?’ 

I shake my head. “Honestly, no.” 

 ‘you will.’ He smiles. ‘shower. we’ve got stuff to do.’ 

 I glance at him. “Pick up the medical supplies while I’m washing.” 

 Li glares at me. ‘i like messes ki ki.’ 

 “And?” This is said impatiently. I don’t have time for bullshit right now. The room’s a wreck, I have to shower, and we’ve got work that isn’t going to be pleasant to do. I don’t have time for him to be a fucking child. If he’s going to stay, he’s going to grow up. OR I’m going to make it so unpleasant that he leaves. 

 I don’t know if he CAN leave, however. I opened his box. Maybe he doesn’t go back until I’ve closed it. But then, I had the box as a child. I’m sure I opened it around him. Why didn’t he go back then? 

 ‘and… i don’t clean them up- i make them.’ 

 I sigh. “Clean it up, Li. I’m not cleaning up after you. Grow up.” 

 ‘let’s leave it.’ Li says. ‘a little bit of chaos is good for you.’ 

 “No-“ 

 ‘it is. you’re too strict. whens the last time you just … messed something up? played in the mud? messed up a vase or something? we used to  make grand messes.’ 

 “That I was beaten for,” I say flatly. 

 Li frowns. ‘but there’s no one here to beat you now- you told me so, remember?’  
  
“That doesn’t mean I go around making messes.” I cross my arms. “Clean it up, Li.” 

 He glances at the bed. ‘finnne.’ he whines. ‘do you think we should take your temperature again to make sure you’re okay?’ 

 “I’m fine,” I assure. “You’ve done enough doctoring to last me a lifetime.” 

 ‘i make a good doctor.’ he smiles. 

 “You make a terrible doctor.” I correct. “Your methods are way outdated.” 

 Li frowns. ‘you’re not sick anymore, though. i must have done something right.’ 

 “‘Right’ is a strong word.” 

 ‘shower.’ He tells me. ‘i’ll clean up. though i think you’d find it really cathartic to mess something up.’ 

 “I like a clean house, Li,” I growl. “Don’t fuck anything up.” 

 ‘fuck something up? ME?’ He puts a hand to his chest. ‘i’m offended, ki.” 

 “No you’re not.” I dismiss. “Clean it up.”

 I close the bathroom door between us before he can argue. I lock it behind me- just in case.  
  
Then again- locks and doors don’t seem to stop him from getting into places. I’m sure if he really wanted in, he’d just come through. 

I walk over to the shower, open the door, and turn the hot water on.  

 The shower’s not as relaxing as I had hoped it would be. 

 My mind wanders to places I’d rather not think about when I’m surrounded by water. 

To be honest, my ‘encounter’ with my father (the one where he killed me?)- makes me nauseated. I think about it at the most random, inconvenient times. 

 Facing him is hard. 

 I’m still not completely okay with him having been at the compound. 

 It was bad enough- honestly. His presence defiled an already fucked up place. 

And I can imagine what he’d say about my current situation.  
  
Fuck. It’s getting hard to breathe.  

 I place my hand on the slick tile of the shower wall, leaning my forehead against it as well. 

 I feel frozen. 

Scared shitless. 

 I know I can end this if I turn the water off- but fuck. I can’t move. 

I can’t- breathe. 

 My throat is closing. I’m choking on air. I’m- 

 ‘good buddy no!’ The water shuts off. ‘no, no, no! what’s wrong? breathe! why aren’t you breathing?? did you forget how to breathe? BREATHE!” 

 Fuck. 

 Li pushes me to my back and starts to slam his fist into my chest- not helping in the slightest. 

 “LI!” I gasp. 

 ‘breathe!’ 

 “LI!” 

 He looks at me with panic driven wide eyes. 

 “I’m fine.” I push myself up to a seated position. “I just… had a moment. I’m fine.” 

 ‘a ‘moment’?’ he makes quotations with his fingers. ‘you stopped breathing.’ 

 “Yea- the water sets me off sometimes,” I admit. “I’m fine.” 

 ‘water? you’ve never been scared of water! why are you scared of water?’ 

 “It’s… a thing.” I notice that he’s climbed into the shower with me but is completely dry. Wonder how that works… 

 ‘a bad thing?’ 

 Well… “It’s not a good one.” I agree. 

 ‘did something happen?’ he asks almost sweetly. 

 “Ah.. yeah.” I look away from him. “Yeah. Something did.” 

 ‘someone hurt you?’ 

 I nod. 

Li takes my hand. ‘who?’ 

 “It doesn’t matter.” I dismiss. “It was a while ago.” 

 Could have been a lifetime at this point. 

 ‘who?’ He presses, squeezing my hand. 

 “Logan.” I take my hand away from him. 

 ‘your daddy?’ He gasps. 

 “He is not my ‘daddy’.” I scoff. “He’s my ‘father’. And barely that.” 

 Li shakes his head. ’i don’t get it. he hurt you? why would he hurt you? he’s your daddy. he’s supposed to love you. why doesn’t he love you?’

 Why doesn’t Logan love me? That is a good question. Maybe because I’m not Laura. There’s no denying he loves Laura. 

I mean, I’m fond of her too. Very fond. Do I love her, though? I’m not sure. I am fond of her, however. 

Logan doesn’t love me. He never could. I’m not the right child for him. 

Daddy issues aside- I’m just not.  

 “We fight,” I say simply. “Pass me a towel.” 

 Li stands up and gathers a towel from the tall rack on the wall by the sink, passing it to me. ‘like ‘fight’ fight?’ 

 I nod. 

 ‘with claws?’ 

 I nod again. 

 ‘and he hurt you with water?’ 

 “He drowned me.” I start to dry off with the gray towel he’s passed me. It’s fluffy. High quality. Only the nicest things for me. 

 ‘whhhhhhaaaaattt?’ Li gasps. ‘did you die?’ 

 “I died,” I say with a nod. 

 ‘and now you’re back?’ 

 “It’s a long story.” 

 ‘do you hate him?’ he asks quietly. Again with the childlike attitude. 

 “Yes,” I say without hesitation. “I do.” 

 ‘like ‘hate’ hate?’ 

 “I am what he made me.” I spit. “Everything is his fault and he knows it. He knows it- and he denies it. Everyone loves good ol’ Wolverine. Hero for all. Teacher, leader, all around great guy. And then there’s me,” I pause. “And he made me. For all my faults and imperfections he perceives me to have. And he punished me accordingly.’

 Li shakes his head. ‘but he didn’t make you! it was the bastard! everything you know about him- the  bastard told you.’ 

 “Li-“ 

 ‘the bastard couldn’t stand when you were happy. you remember? he went out of his way to make you miserable. every second you spent with him you were unhappy.’ 

 “Maybe as a child, it would seem like-“ 

 Li puts his hand on my arm. ‘no, ki. no. he made you miserable. he hit you. he touched you. he whipped you. he yelled at you- you were scared of him.’ 

 “As a child-“ I try again. 

 ‘as an adult.’ Li says firmly. ‘he just made you love him. when did you start to love him? hmm? when did you start-‘ 

 “I do not ‘love’ anyone, Li.” I snarl. “Not Logan. And definitely not Romulus. I was just little. I didn’t have anyone else.” 

 ‘he made you hate your daddy- the one person who could help you.’ Li says firmly. ‘you and he need to talk.’ 

 “I hope you’re referring to Logan- but at the same time, I hope you’re referring to someone else. Because talking to either of them is out of the question.” 

 ‘are you scared?’ Li asks gently. 

 “Scared?” I growl. “Scared???? Why would I be scared? Why would I give them the power to-“ 

 ‘of your dad.’ Li interrupts while gesturing back to the shower. ‘are you scared he’ll hurt you again?’ 

 Oh I know he would hurt me. In a heartbeat. 

He didn’t feel bad for what he did- he felt relieved. Relieved that I was out of the picture. That I wouldn’t bother him anymore. I know this. 

He didn’t miss me.  
  
I doubt if he even lost any sleep over it. 

 I’m not the first child he’s killed- I know that. 

Sure- he was fond of my mother… but that only relates to me slightly. His fondness for her can’t be transferred to me at its full effect. Not when it matters. He’s told me before that I favored her. I mean- I must have got it from somewhere. It didn’t stop him. As he was holding me down. And stupid me- stupid me. Thinking he’d let up. Thinking he’d let me go. Because he loves me- right? He loves me.  
  
Only he doesn’t.  
  
He loved that child more. 

 He loved his school more. 

 He loved his way of life more than he valued my actual life. 

 I don’t know what he sees when he looks at me. Not anymore. 

 Maybe a failed attempt to make the world a better place? Maybe he truly is waiting for the next moment something goes off the rails with me so he can finish it. 

My coming back was a freak accident. Something that shouldn’t have happened. 

Was he happy to see me? 

 NO.  
  
He was ashamed. Ashamed that he’d failed. 

That haunts me. 

Then he goes and dies… and well… I did what I was supposed to. I buried him. I fought for him and his honor when the time came.  
  
The only good thing I got out of any of this was Laura. 

 I’d help her. With anything. She saved my life. When I couldn’t go on- she made me. Through sheer force of will, she made me come to reason. 

I owe her. 

 I owe her and she never says it. 

I don’t know if Logan ever told her what he did. Probably not. Least it leads her- his favorite child- to have any distress. 

 Laura won his love just by existing. She never had a mother he can think of. Or picture. 

But he loves her.  
  
He protects her. He cares about her. 

She’s his. 

His daughter. The one and only. 

 Me? I’m a dime a dozen. He can make more of me. Me’s that aren’t as fucked up. Me’s that will hang onto his every word. Me’s that will fight by his side. That aren’t jaded. Or off center. 

He doesn’t need me. 

He can honestly live much better without me. 

 Am I scared of him? 

Frankly- yes. 

One wrong move and I’m dead. No chances. No options.  
  
I keep him so far out of my dealings that it’s a chore. 

 I keep away from him with as much might as I can put into it. And we don’t live that terribly far apart. We even end up running in some of the same circles. Albeit different sides- but the same circles none the less. They say ‘Wolverine is here’ or even mention his name- and I’m gone. Doesn’t matter what I was doing or what I have to get done. I have to leave. Just like that. 

 Him showing up yesterday? Fuck that threw me. All I wanted was to show them around, give them the info Laura asked for me to give them and go home. 

But no. Logan showed up.  
  
Even more confusing- he wanted to talk about it. Like he knew more than he should have.  
  
Part of me wonders if he’s been talking to ‘the queen’ herself. If she had told him some of her brother’s more nefarious details. The things he and his followers kept under wraps. His sexual desires, violent tendencies, blood lust- anything that made him seem flawed. People were to fear him- in all things. But not know anything about him other than he was scary.  
  
Logan has a similar effect on people and I don’t think he even realizes it. It can be used so effectively if he wanted it to be. 

Can I kill him? 

 Honestly? No. I can’t. 

 I don’t know why and it kills me- but I can’t. The one time I got close was the day he drowned me. I haven’t had the balls to try again.  
  
I can hurt him. I can torture him. I can TRY to kill him- but I can’t succeed.  
  
He obviously does not share the same hangups. 

 ‘i made you think.’ Li says quietly. ‘and it doesn’t look like it was about good things.’ He puts his hand on my face. ‘are you scared of him ki ki? do you think he’d hurt you again?’ 

 I stare at him for a long time. “If he had to do it again- I think he would,” I say. 

 Li is frowning. ‘oh ki ki i wish you had said something about this earlier.’ 

 “Oh?” I glance at his now worried face. 

 He nods- fidgeting with his thumbs. ‘ i uh…. tried to help.’ 

 “‘Help’?” I glare at him. “In what way?” 

 Li looks down. ‘we’re looking for the bastard- right?’ 

 I nod, anxious as to where he’s going to go with this. 

 ‘and your dad… he uh... worked with the bastard- right?’ 

 My stomach drops. 

 “Li…”I growl. “What did you do?” 

‘nothing bad!’ he holds up his hands as if to ward off a blow. ‘it’s just… we need help.’ 

 “Help? You asked Logan for HELP?” I yell. “Why would you do that??? What help could we possibly need that he could provide?” 

 ‘with the bastard.’ Li nods. ‘he said he could.’ 

 “What the fuck is wrong with you???” I demand. “You show up in my life unannounced and start wrecking shit! Who does that!!?” 

 ‘i’m not wrecking shit!’ He protests. ‘your father can help!’ 

 “My father does not help me- Li!” My voice rises. “He can’t! He doesn’t care! IF you do this, he will see it as me needing him. I do not need him! I can do this on my own! I can-“ 

 ‘ki ki, please.’ Li soothes. ‘he seemed very kind yesterday. maybe the two of you just had some kind of,’ he waves his hand through the air, ‘misunderstanding?’ 

 “It’s really hard to misunderstand someone who literally KILLED me!” 

 ‘maybe… i don’t know ki ki. he wants to help. let him help.’ 

 Let him ‘help’? Let him ‘help’???? 

 “I don’t want his help!” 

 ‘we need it.’ Li presses. 

 “We don’t! We can do it on our own!” 

 ‘logan would be happy to help you.’ Li says sweetly. ‘ki ki- give him a chance!’ 

 “I gave him a chance! A ‘chance’ is what got me killed!” I spit. “How are you not understanding this???” 

 ‘he wants to help.’ Li says quietly, crossing his arms. ‘we’re going to let him help.’ 

 “Oh are we? Are we really? Oh wow Li what a wonderful decision that you- someone who is not REAL- gets to make for me!” I bellow. 

 ‘i am real!’ Li snaps. ‘and i’m trying to help!’ 

 “No you’re not! You’ve been here one night and you’re already fucking everything up!” 

 Li bites his lip. ‘ ki ki do not yell at me.’ He hisses. ‘my patience is not unlimited.’ 

 “Your….” I exhale loudly. “Your patience? You want me to think about your patience? Did you stop to think about mine???” 

 ‘no because you’ve always been impatient!’ Li growls. ‘ i didn’t have to think of it because I knew it wasn’t there! i’m trying to HELP you! i don’t know how many more times i have to tell you this! I'M HERE TO HELP!’ His voice grows deep and seems to come from every corner in the room. I can feel myself visibly shrinking.  
  
His eyes are even darker. His face something slightly scary. 

 “Li-“ 

 ‘you need my help! YOU opened MY box!’ He yells. ‘i have been NOTHING but patient with YOU. I made one MISTAKE and YOU are being a complete JACKASS about it! Do not push me! remember that YOU asked for ME! I could have gone to ANYONE. But YOU needed ME! I love you. I am your buddy. But if you think for one second you can YELL, and BERATE, and DEMEAN me- YOU are mistaken. I’m OLDER than you. I know BETTER than you. and ALL i want is YOUR happiness. IF YOU REFUSE TO LET ME MAKE YOU HAPPY THEN-‘ 

 “I’m sorry!” I say quickly. “Li- I’m sorry!” 

 His eyes lighten up. ‘ki ki,’ he says lowly, ‘do not push me.’ 

 “I’m sorry,” I repeat. “I’m sorry.” 

 For some reason- him getting mad at me really scares me. Badly. 

 ‘shh.’ he soothes, reaching over and patting my head. ‘it’s okay good buddy. it’s all okay.’ his voice is soothing now. ‘it’s all okay.’ he repeats. ‘i didn’t know about your dad. i’m sorry.’ 

 “How did you even contact him? I don’t have his number-“ 

 ‘i contacted his girlfriend- the lady who texted you?’ 

 “Oh fuck no.” I spit. “Fuck no.” 

‘ki…..’ 

 “Sorry.” I hold my hand up. “Sorry. No yelling. I promise.” 

 He nods. ‘i messaged her- yes.’ 

 “I don’t like that.” I try to sound calm. 

 ‘she said she’d be happy to get him for you…. and then he messaged you a few minutes after that.’ 

 “A few minutes? I haven’t been in the shower that long! How did you do this in a few minutes?” 

 Both of them must have been near their phones. Or near each other. It’s not the weekend. Surely they have classes to teach. 

 ‘you’ve been in the shower for like forty minutes.’ Li dismisses. 

 I wrap the towel around my waist. “Now I’ve got to go fix this.” I hiss. “What did you say?” 

 Li looks down. ‘that you needed help.’ 

 “Did you specify what kind of help I needed?” I press. 

 ‘with the bastard.’ He says. 

 “And did you call him ‘the bastard’?” 

 He shakes his head. ‘i used his real name. it made me sick to my stomach.’ 

 I leave Li in the bathroom and go to my phone. I note that the bedroom has in fact not been cleaned up. The bed has had the sheets and blankets removed and tossed towards the window- however, I can see the medical supplies making lumps within them. So apparently he just wrapped the materials in the blankets and stripped the bed.

 My phone is sitting on the exposed mattress, still plugged into the wall. 

 “I don’t want to know how you keep unlocking this.” I groan. 

 ‘it likes me.’ Li says. 

 I glance over my shoulder at him. “You didn’t clean this up.” I motion to the room. 

 ‘i made the big mess into a little mess. your welcome.’  

 “Thanks.” I scoff. “Really.” 

 ‘your welcome.’ He smiles- not picking up on the sarcasm at all. 

 I pick up the phone, unlock it and scroll through my messages. 

First, there are several messages exchanged with Ororo. Going as far as to ask about her day, how she was, what she was doing,  and then finally- if she could get a message to Logan. Very polite is Li. 

 Judging by the tone of her answers- she was happy to hear from me but cautious. 

As she should be, I suppose. 

 She said that she and Logan were off for the day and out in the city.  
  
Logan himself said that if I wanted, I could meet up with them.  
  
And LI- 

 “What the fuck?” I growl, turning on him. “You agreed to have lunch with them??” 

 He nods. ‘intel, ki ki. for intel.’ 

 My headache is coming back. 

I can’t take him in front of them. I can’t bring him anywhere near them. But if I cancel, they’ll think something is wrong. And I can’t have anyone thinking something is wrong when something is obviously actually wrong. If they dig too deep- they’re bound to know something is off. And if they find out what that something is- I’m labeled mentally unstable and thrown into the nearest looney bin. Which doesn’t work for me. 

So if I go- they’ll notice something is wrong. If I don’t go- they’ll still think something is wrong and go digging. If they dig- they’ll find something for sure. 

 So… not going will lead to digging and eventual discovery of my little ‘issue’. Going will lead to less discovery but more obvious problems. 

 To go is to be seen doing something weird. To not go is for them to think something is weird. I don’t know which is worse. 

The phone vibrates in my hand. A number I’m guessing is Logan’s tells me that we can meet at ten thirty at some small restaurant downtown. I’ve been there a few times on my own. I’m guessing it’s a place of Ororo’s choosing. The food and ambiance of the place are little too classy for my father. 

 “This is great- Li. Really.” I hiss. “Now I have to go meet with them.” 

 ‘and? we need intel. this is a good thing.’ 

 “If you come with me- they’ll think I’m crazy.” 

 ‘you’re not crazy.’ he gasps. 

 “But if you act up- they’ll think I am.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “This is a mess. It’s already a mess. How can today get any worse?”  

 ‘i won’t act up.’ Li says simply. 

 “I thought that last night when you decided you wanted some of my food.” I glare at him. 

 ‘that’s not my fault, ki ki. i get hungry.’ 

 I hang my head. “There’s no possible way you’d let me go alone- is there?” 

 ‘and miss out on intel???????’ he gasps again. 

 “I’ll take that as a ‘no’.” I groan, looking up at the ceiling. He’s going to come. He’s going to make them see me acting like an idiot. It’s going to happen.  
And Logan? Logan’s an observant mother fucker. He’ll be judging me for signs of weakness. And this? This whole ‘Li’ thing? It’s a weakness. It’s a major hole in my defenses. 

 ‘definite no.’ Li nods. ‘we’re in this together good buddy.’ 

 “God.” I hiss. 

 ‘praying?’ He asks with a raised eyebrow. 

“No.” I snap. 

 ‘then it’s just a general ‘god’?’ 

 “What are you babbling about?” I start to sort through my dresser- pushed into the back of my closet to free up space. It’s probably pretty chilly out. I should in the very least take a jacket. 

 ‘god.’ He says. ‘do you believe in god now?’ 

 I glance over my shoulder. “No.” 

 I never did. 

 ‘do you believe in a general god? like ya know... mother earth. something like that?’ 

 “No.” 

I pull on a t-shirt, vest, and a pair of slacks. 

 ‘not at all?’ 

 I turn around to him. “Do you?” 

 ‘i always thought the queen was a goddess.’ He says, crossing his arms. 

 “What makes you think that?” I’m actually very curious. 

 ‘she looks like one.’ He says simply. 

 “And you know what a goddess looks like?” I scoff. 

 He nods. ‘ like the queen. she’s something out of a myth.’ 

 “Her name is something out of a myth.” I correct. “Not her.” 

 A myth that cast her as a man- I should add. 

 I don’t know if she was born with the name or she just took it. Whatever the reason behind it- it doesn’t fit. 

 ‘that means the bastard is a god.’  
  
Fuck. 

 “He’s not a god, Li,” I assure. “Neither of them are. They’re mutants. Like me.” 

 ‘mutants- huh?’ Li scratches his head. ‘then you’re a god too.’ 

 “We’re not gods,” I assure- yet again. “Just genetic defects.” 

 ‘then why did they take some much blood from you? if they weren’t testing you for godliness?’ 

 “For genetic tests. I had to be turned into a weapon. They needed data to do that. So… I was tested.” 

 ‘and experimented on.’ He says gravely.  
  
I laugh at the absurdity of it. “No I wasn’t.” 

 Surely I would remember something like that. This isn’t another ‘truth bomb’ from my childhood that he gets to drop. Romulus would never have let anyone experiment on me. I was his. He kept his things in finely tuned condition. I didn’t need to be experimented on. I was functioning perfectly. 

 He nods. ‘yes, ki ki- you were.’ 

 “No-“ 

 ‘the doctors? two men and a woman. dressed in black coats. they injected you with stuff- remember? it burnt? you screamed.  i couldn’t untie you. i tried for three hours and the locks never budged. they said something was wrong with your brain…. because of me. remember? they thought you were sick. they were trying to fix your problem.’ 

 Holy fuck.  
  
I guess this is a truth bomb he can drop on me.  
  
Because fuck it- I do remember that. When I close my eyes, thinking back, I can almost see their faces. Feel their hands. Smell the awful smell of the chemicals from the lab.  
  
Why would he let them do that to me? He never let anyone do that to me as an adult. 

 OR…… maybe he did and I don’t remember it?

How much of my upbringing did he make me forget? 

 That’s a lot to take in at one moment. 

 But… I do remember it. 

 I stand here and stare at him… trying to think of what I can possibly say. 

 ‘bad childhood memory?’ He says with a visible wince. 

 “Yea.” I nod. “It is.” 

 Does he have any good ones? 

Fuck. 

 Do I have any good ones? 

 The phone buzzes on the bed. Li’s there before I can reach it. 

‘they changed the time.’ He says. ‘they want to meet…. in twenty minutes.’ 

 I exhale slowly. “Look when we go there are going to be some rules.” 

 Li nods. ‘like what?’ 

 “Don’t touch me, don’t talk to me, don’t touch them, don’t touch or move anything around them, and don’t distract me. Got it?”

 Li whistles. ‘that’s a lot of rules.’ 

I nod. “Which you will follow.” 

 He nods. ‘for you, ki ki, i will obey.’ 

 “No messes, either.” I feel like I’m talking to a misbehaved child. 

 ‘none whatsoever????’ Li whines. 

 “None whatsoever.” I nod. “Zero. Sit still, be quiet, and do nothing.” 

 Li drops my phone. ‘doing nothing isn’t my strong suit.’

 “You’ve got less than twenty minutes to make it one,” I say, adjusting my vest. 

 ‘you look nice.’ He says randomly. 

 I glare at him. 

 ‘what? you do buddy. you grew up handsome. like they said you would.’ 

 I don’t care to know who ‘they’ is. 

 ‘i like your hair…… it’s longer now but the sides are still shaved- i always liked it. it looks like a fin.’ 

 “Thank you.” I sigh. “Are you ready?” 

 Li looks down. ‘hmmm. i need to look snazzy.’ He snaps his fingers and turns as a three piece suit appears. Purple. It’s… odd. Almost.. funny? 

I have to control my face. I don’t want him to think that I approve of any of his childish behavior. 

 “Why are you wearing a purple suit?” I have to ask- once my emotions are in check. 

 ‘it’s my snazzy suit.’ he says with a smile. ‘remember?’ 

 I shake my head. “No. And I don’t think I want to.”   

 ‘Snazzy Suit’. Fuck. Did I really come up with all of this?  
  
I must have been more deranged than I thought I was. 

 ‘you don’t like it? it’s snazzy.’ 

 “Stop saying ‘snazzy’.” I snap. 

 ‘i look good.’ Li says indignantly. ‘you could stand some more snazzy clothes.’ 

 “My clothes are fine.” I hiss. 

 ‘sore spot?’ Li grins. ‘you always did like to look nice.’ 

 “Shut it.” I nod towards the door. “Laura’s not returned my car yet. We’re taking a cab.” 

 Hopefully not the one from yesterday. That would be bad luck.  

 We leave the apartment and stand outside in the hallway as I lock the door. 

 Li whistles something that sounds oddly familiar. 

When I look over my shoulder, he’s grinning. ‘ana the horrible could sing. remember that?’ 

 I close my eyes and exhale slowly. Stories and songs. Sixty years ago. And somehow this fucker remembers all of them.  
  
Which logically means that I remember all of them- doesn’t it? 

He’s a figment of my imagination- isn’t he? 

 Unless he’s a ghost. 

He could be a ghost. 

 We walk down to the street with me thinking about what it means to be haunted in real life. 

 Li loves being outside of the apartment. It’s like he’s never seen the outside world before. 

 ‘snazzy suit, shiny shoes, i even brushed my hair.’ 

I give a subtle nod. 

 ‘we’re not with them yet. you can talk to me you know.’ 

 A cold hand reaches out and grabs mine. 

 I yank back, trying not to make it too obvious. No one’s on the street, however. Now would be a good time to tell him to knock it off. 

 ‘i wanna hold hands.’ 

 “I’m not holding your hand,” I growl. 

 Li pouts. Visibly. Lip poked out and everything. Like a child. 

 ‘hold my hand, ki.’ he whines. 

 “I’m not holding your hand.” I snap. “I don’t want to, so I won’t.” 

 ‘hold my hand.’ he repeats, taking my hand again. 

 “Your hands are so cold,” I complain. 

 ‘i think you’re running hot again.’ 

 Oh fuck no. “I am not running hot.” 

 ‘we didn’t check your temperature before we left.’ 

 “I’m not hot- you’re cold.” I press. 

 ‘i’m not cold- you’re hot.’ he counters. 

 “Li- please. We can’t do this right now.” 

 ‘do what?’ he asks incredulously. ‘i’m just trying to hold your hand! you like holding hands!’ 

 “I do not!” I snap. 

 Li shakes his head. ‘you’re a tough nut to crack- you know that?’ 

I flag a cab down, opening the back and standing there for a second longer than usual so Li can crawl in. 

 After telling the driver where to go, I turn my attention to the window and watch the city fly by.  
  
No traffic this morning- which is odd for this part of town. I’m starting to wonder that one of the super idiots are waging some kind of battle- hence making a mess and redirecting traffic. The last thing I want to do today is jump into some idiot in a cape’s battle with some other idiot in a cape while they wreck half the city.  
  
It happens more often than you’d think. 

 We pull up the restaurant and I pay the driver. It cost less than twenty bucks. In all honesty, I probably could have walked. However, I wanted to be there on time. So taking a cab was really the only option. 

 When Li and I are out on the empty sidewalk, I turn to him. “No talking, moving, or touching.” I hiss. 

 Li nods. ‘no talking, moving, or touching.’ He repeats. ‘starting….’ he points behind me. ‘now.’ 

 Logan and Ororo are walking up the sidewalk- both looking somewhat finely dressed.  
  
At least as fine as Logan can dress. 

 Ororo wears a purple dress that compliments are skin nicely. The jacket that covers her shoulders adds an air of classiness to an outfit that looks quite versatile.

 She waves when she sees me. Logan just nods. 

 ‘intel.’ Li whispers. ‘don’t forget.’  

 I try to keep perfectly still- even though I want to glare at him. 

 “Good morning,” Ororo says when they get closer. “Thank you for agreeing to the earlier time. I’m starving.” 

 I nod. “I was already up and this isn’t terribly far from my apartment.” 

 “You live around here?” Logan asks. 

 I try to keep a pleasant face. “Yes.” 

 “I didn’t know that,” Logan says. “I assumed you lived somewhere out of the city.” 

Good. He doesn’t know where I live. Laura hasn’t told him. I mean- I asked her not to. But I’m glad she kept true to her word. 

 “Yes well I do enjoy the city,” I say crisply. 

 ‘why are you talking funny? you sound so…. stuck up.’ 

 Stuck up??? Me?? 

 “You have an apartment?” Logan presses. 

 I nod. 

 “You hold down a job?” 

 My pleasant act has my insides churning. “Several, actually.” 

 ‘stuck up. this is why that man called you a princess. why are you acting like this? this isn’t how you acted with your sister. go back to acting like yourself! he’ll like you more that way.’ 

 I move my foot slightly back, stepping where I think Li’s foot will be. 

 ‘OUCH!’ Li howls. 

 “Legal jobs?” Logan asks. 

 Actually… yes. There’s a story he’d like to hear. My last ‘job’ was porn. Surprise surprise. Totally legal. It was a favor to a model I know. Honestly, I think he just wanted to fuck me. There wasn’t much story involved. Mainly just hardcore fucking. It was a good gig. Definitely one that I could just do without much thought. 

 Actually, come to think of it- Johnny found that video the other day. He not so subtly asked if we could ‘role play’ some scenes. The man’s getting ballsy.  
  
Part of me thinks that the porn story would be far more fucked up to tell Logan than the assassination gigs I take. Maybe he’d stumble across it and have himself a stroke. 

 Not that I can foresee him trying to look up gay porn. 

 “A few here and there.” My face aches from trying to keep it neutral. 

Who the hell is he to question me like this?? This is supposed to be me asking him questions- not him.

 Ororo smiles. “That’s wonderful. I’m sure your home is lovely.”  She shoots Logan a ‘drop it’ look. 

 “Must be expensive,” Logan says evenly. “Being in this area and all.” 

 I nod. “Very.”  Fuck off, Logan.

 “High paying gigs then?” 

 I don’t know why this is so important to him. 

 I just smile and nod. 

 “And they’re legal?” He presses. 

 “Logan.” Ororo hisses. 

 “What?” he crosses his arms. “I’m asking a question.” 

 “Stop it,” Ororo says. “You’re creating conflict. We talked about this.” 

That … surprises me. They talked about this? 

 That implies that she’s trying to reign him in during our encounters. 

 I’m not sure if I appreciate the help. 

 ‘wow. your dad has a lot of questions.’ Li puts his cold hand on my shoulder. ‘has he not been to your house? you should take him to your house! it’s a nice house. you can have him over for dinner! i’ll help make it! we can spend some time with him and-“ 

 I kick my leg out behind me ever so lightly, nailing Li in the shins. 

 ‘ki ki!’ he groans. ‘stop it!’ 

 Logan looks me over. “I’m just trying to see if he’s living well.” He says. “If he needed help with anything.” 

 “Help?” 

 He nods. “You’ve been cut off from Romulus for a while….. I thought that’s where you got your money from….” 

 “Are you… offering me money?” I scoff. 

Logan is silent for a moment. “Well.. yeah.” He says finally. “If you needed it. You don’t seem like the type of person who’d have steady income.” 

 “I can take care of myself, Logan.” I snap. “I don’t need your money.” 

 “I was just asking.” He says, holding a hand up. “Chill out.” 

 That headed in such a … normal direction. Children asking their parents for help. God it makes me sick to my stomach. 

 “Are we going to eat?” Ororo points to the restaurant. “Or are we going to argue? Because if we’re going to argue- I’m leaving.” 

 Logan switches his attention to her. “Darlin’ I don’t want to argue.” He says. “I’m just asking questions.” 

 “In a very aggressive fashion.” She crosses her arms. “You said you were going to play nice.” 

 “I am playing nice.” He huffs. “I’m asking if he needs help. With all this Romulus talk and what Laura told me-“  
  
That stops me. “What did Laura tell you?” 

 He stares for a long moment. “Just that the trip to the compound may have upset you….. and now your sudden interest in Romulus-“ he stops. “I’m worried about you, son. Okay? I wanna help.” 

 “I don’t need help.” I scoff. “I’m fine.” 

 ‘the compound upset you.’ Li says behind me. ‘i’m sorry ki ki. going back there must have sucked.’ 

 “If you do need help-“ 

“This isn’t what I came here to talk about,” I growl. “Drop it.” 

 Logan holds his hands skyward. “Fine.” He says. “Fine. If you don’t want my help- you don’t have to take it. I just want you to know it’s an option.” 

 I glare at him. “Noted.” 

 He nods and turns to Ororo. “Let’s get you something to eat darlin’.” 

 ‘you and your dad really don’t get along.’ Li whispers in my ear as we start moving into the restaurant. 

 I can’t find a way to hit him as we’re moving, so I do my best to keep my eyes forward and ignore him. 

 ‘ki ki- i know you hear me.’ he hisses. 

 The restaurant is dark and small. Cozy almost. People are gathered around large tables draped in white table clothes. Most of them housing a variety of ‘brunch’ food and alcohol. I’ve been here several times. I even know the owner’s son…. and daughter. The son still invites me to his lavish cocaine parties. I take him up once and a while. We do the drugs, fuck, drink- it’s a fun time.  
  
I ghosted him recently because he was getting too clingy. His sister is much better at flings than he is. Prettier too. And better in bed. 

Definitely better at sucking dick- that’s for sure. 

 They both openly welcome me back to their parent’s business. I don’t think I’ve actually paid for anything in a while. I’m half hoping that one of them is working this morning. I have my own money- of course. But it would be nice to prove to my father that I don’t need it. 

 The hostess, a woman with a small frame and bird-like face, sits us by a row of windows in the very back of the restaurant. 

Looking at her, I recognize her from some of those coke parties I’ve attended. She smiles when she sees me looking. 

 “It’s nice to see you.” She says. “Does Dante know you’re here?” 

 Logan and Ororo stare at me. 

 “No.” I smile at her. “Is he working?” 

 She nods. “He may put in an appearance if I tell him you're here.” She flashes a smile that’s a tad too white to be natural. 

 “It’d be nice to see him.” I lie. Free food is free food. 

The woman nods. “I’ll let him know you’re here.” 

 ‘who’s dante?’ Li sits in the unoccupied seat at the four seater table. Neither Logan or Ororo seem to notice. 

 “Who’s Dante?” Logan asks. 

 “The owner’s son,” I say simply.  
  
On the table, there’s  a basket of bread and a few wine glasses filled with water. 

 I glance at Li with what I hope is a clear warning as to not touch anything.  
  
He’s already broken the talking rule. 

 “You know the owner’s son?” Ororo asks. 

I nod. “We’ve had meetings.” 

 ‘what kind of meetings?” 

“What kind of meetings?” Logan and Li seem to be on the same page. It’s actually helpful so the imaginary man thinks his questions are being answered and doesn’t get bored with my ignoring him. 

 “The kind that involves drugs of some sort.” I drawl. 

 Logan frowns. “Oh.” 

 Ororo takes a sip from her cup, looking slightly awkward at the silence my father has made. 

 “I know Dante’s sister too- if that helps any,” I say nonchalantly, picking up a menu and leafing through it. 

 “It doesn’t,” Logan says quietly. 

 “I assumed you were uncomfortable because my company was male. Don’t tell me your disapproval comes from the drugs. Surely you’ve used something in your many, many moons.” I say dryly.   

 “I don’t care what you do with guys.” Logan looks at his menu, boring holes into it so as not to look at me. “That’s your business.” 

 He looks too … off put for that to be true. 

 ‘oooohhhh. you and dante are a thing. does he give you presents? the drugs! the drugs are you present! i knew you were still following the rules!’ Li claps his hands together. ‘smart, smart ki ki. you like drugs. mr. roberts used to give you drugs- remember?’ 

 Li is seated next to my father- since he’s looking at his menu, I take a moment to shoot Li as nasty of a look at I can. 

 “You’re being safe though- right?” Logan looks up. “Things are contagious- you-“  
  
“Please tell me you’re not telling me to wear a condom.” I scoff. “I’m not stupid- Logan. There’s nothing I can contract that will hurt me.” 

 Logan sighs heavily. “Just be careful.” 

 “Do you and Laura have this talk?” I ask, flipping through the menu. 

“Laura’s not sexually active.” He mutters. 

That makes me laugh.  
  
His head jerks up. “What.” 

I cover my mouth with my hand. “Nothing.” 

 Logan glares at me. “What?” 

 “Logan…” Ororo hisses. 

 He glares at her. “What about that made you laugh??” 

 I glance up from my menu. “She’s seeing Warren. Rich boy? You know what rich boys want when they see a pretty girl.” 

 “Warren has been told not to touch her,” Logan growls. “And he won’t.” 

 “She was at his house last night.” I look back down. “But if you want to keep your delusions- be my guest.” 

 “She was at his house?” Logan scowls. 

 “That’s none of your business.” Ororo puts her glass down. “Laura is a grown woman. If she wants to sleep with her boyfriend-“  
  
“She’s not sleeping with her boyfriend,” Logan growls. “Laura doesn’t do that.” 

 “She’s what- twenty something?” 

 “Twenty-one.” 

 “And you think she’s never had sex?” I smirk. 

 “She’s-“  
  
“With full disclosure that she used to be a prostitu-“  
  
“Shut your mouth.” Logan snaps. “That is your sister.” 

 I’m pleasantly amused by this conversation. 

 ‘she used to be a prostitute?’ Li gasps. ‘ki ki- she’s like you!’ 

That kills some of the amusement- honestly. 

 “Let’s talk about something else,” Ororo says, putting her hand on Logan’s shoulder. “Okay, Logan?” 

 Logan glares at me. “Fine.” 

 “Fine.” I agree. “We can talk about Remus.” 

 ‘the queen!’ Li says. 

 “What about her?” Logan growls.  
  
“Where is she?” I watch the busy restaurant move. The people inside like insects, accompanied by a buzz of conversation. The table next to us is a group of well dressed middle aged women gossiping about a friend of theirs. Some friends they turn out to be. Apparently, the woman’s a bit of a whore. Nice to know. I didn’t need to know- of course, but with my hearing- it’s hard to choose what gets heard. It’s a nice distraction as Li starts to tap my hand across the table.  

 ‘ki ki- ask about the bastard.’ Li whispers. 

 “Last I heard? Rome.” Logan puts his menu down. “Are we gonna get a waitress or what?” 

 “Patience, dear.” Ororo soothes. “The conversation is making you testy.” 

 “Fuck right it is.” He growls. “Why are you looking for her? She’s trouble. You KNOW she’s trouble. And you’re going to go looking.” He scowls at me. “It’s like poking a bear with a stick.” 

“I haven’t seen her since I was a child,” I smirk. “Maybe I’m trying to relive my childhood.” 

 Logan points at me. “I understand that you want payback. I understand it, Daken. You deserve it. No one’s doubting that.” He inhales slowly. “But this isn’t good for you. Don’t go looking. Stay safe. The last thing I want is for him to draw you back in.” 

 “He’s not going to ‘draw me back in’.” I snap. “I’m not stupid. I won’t blindly follow him again.” 

 “You will, though,” Logan says. “Because you love him.” 

The words drop like stones between us. 

 “Logan….” Ororo hisses. “Do you have to? Right now? This couldn’t be a friendly exchange of information, could it?”

“It’s friendly enough,” Logan says. 

‘you do love him.’ Li says quietly. ‘it’s true. you love the bastard.’ 

 “I don’t love him.” I look down at the table. 

 “Yes you do,” Logan says gently. “And that’s okay. It’s a deep rooted thing. You can’t help it.” 

 I…. fuck. 

 “Remus is in Rome,” Logan says into the silence. “I got a few numbers you can try. If she gives you what she’s after… let me know. Me or Laura will go with you.” 

 I glance up at him. His expression is soft. Kind almost.  
  
It’s one I don’t think he’s used on me. 

 ‘wow.’ Li squeezes my hand. ‘breathe, ki. it’s okay. the queen is in rome. he’s got numbers. we have a direction to go in.’ He smiles at me. ‘it’s all okay.’ 

 “Stay for lunch,” Ororo says gently. “We’ll talk about something lighter- I promise.” 

 I want to say something, but our waitress arrives. A peppy, high ponytailed, red headed, woman with a lot of makeup. 

She takes our orders and the conversation slips back to normal, polite, topics. 

 It feels like today’s going to be a long day.  
 

 


	5. Money is money is money

‘wow. look at him eat…..’ Li sounds impressed. ‘he’s never stops! how’s he not fat? he should be round.’ 

Frankly- I’m disgusted. Logan is like a beast.

I’m sure that’s just my own personal bias but also… the man has no manners. 

The restaurant is dimly lit- even by the windows. Tables are cleaned, set, and filled with a kind of fast precision that would make a five-star restaurant jealous.

The food is good-as always. This really is one of my favorite spots. 

If I weren’t in present company- I might actually be enjoying myself. 

‘when are we going to rome?’ Li asks, strumming his fingers on the table. 

Li’s ‘snazzy suit’ has somehow shifted back into a tee shirt and shorts- even with the chill in the outside air. 

He rotates between watching Logan and Ororo, commenting on the decor, and asking when we’re leaving. As much as he looks like and adult- I’m reminded that he has the attention span of a child. So far he’s not touched me or anyone around me, however. So he’s behaving as well as to be expected. 

That doesn’t mean I’ll be dignifying any of his pondering with an answer, however. 

‘the queen would be way more fun than this.’ He says. ‘the bastard would be running for cover if she was involved. she always was the stronger of the two.’ 

That is truthful. As much as he always hated to admit it. 

Remus is just….. different. She uses her strengths differently. Her logic. Her wiles. She’s more approachable. She doesn’t have to solely rely on fear to get people to follow her. 

‘the queen- ki ki.’ Li strums his fingers again. ‘i know you hear me.’ 

He’s a little pissed that I didn’t order him any food. 

Logically though he could just summon some imaginary food- right? Does it have to be factual for him? Fuck. I still don’t know how this works. Honestly, I haven’t even really been trying to figure it out. 

The more I focus on it, the crazier I feel. I don’t like feeling crazy. 

‘when did you get so boring? this is so boring! look at what you’re eating!’ he points to the food in front of me. ‘all those vegetables? don’t you want a burger? i want a burger. why are you eating like this?? you’re boring- ki ki. everything you do is boring. you talk boring. you act boring. you need some light in your life. something to do. so we go to rome- right? let’s go! that’s not boring!’ He smiles ‘helpfully’. ‘you’ll feel better when we get to rome.’ 

I focus on my salad. Something to combat the sweets and fast food. I’ll probably have to hit the gym as well. I’m sure Li will be compliant and well behaved. 

‘boring.’ Li lets out a fake snore. ‘when are we going to rome ki ki? i’m done here! the only cool thing is how fast your dad is eating that burger- a burger which you refused to get me- might I add. this is boring. let’s go find the queen! OH! we can ride a plane again! that’d be awesome! let’s go!’ 

Right… compliant and well behaved. That will happen. 

I count backward from ten slowly and continue to fork through leafy greens in front of me. 

‘don’t eat any more of that.’ Li gags. 

“That’s all you're eating?” Logan points with his unoccupied hand. I must have put too much focus into my food- drawing his focus to it as well.

Logan and Li seem to think a lot along the same lines. That disturbs me more than it should. I never met Logan when I made Li. I didn’t even know he was alive. How could they be so similar? 

I mindlessly pick at the grilled chicken mixed in sparsely with the lettuce - sitting with him has all but killed my appetite. 

Ororo is well mannered. She’s eating some kind of fish- like a normal person. She adds into the conversation here and there- not really overstaying her welcome. She’s used to the prolonged silence that comes when my father and I try to be somewhat pleasant towards each other. Logan on the other hand… well, he’s put me off this morning. He’s hiding something. Part of me really wants to know what that is. He keeps looking at with this… calculating look. Like he’s trying to figure out how to word something. I know with all my dealings that he knows nothing of, he could find something to piss me off with. I keep out of his circles. He keeps out of mine. However- if he were to find out certain things I do for employment- he would most definitely get involved. Hence the ‘calculating’ expression. 

He’s set the mood for this encounter- uncomfortable and tense. I wish I didn’t give him this much power over me... but hell. Here we go. This is life. This is where we are. This is how it is. 

I hate it- but it’s how it is. Simple and plain. Logan’s boorish, uncouth, ape-like way of dealing with things is how we must proceed. 

Boorish is a good description for him right now. With how he’s eating, with how he’s postured, with how he looks. Fuck. To think I came from that. 

“Well? Are you going to order something else?” He presses. 

Logan’s got some outrageously portioned burger that he’s tearing into like he’s trying to set a world record. 

It’s like they don’t feed him.

As funny as the thought of him starving may be- the results of his piggish table manners are less than favorable. 

This is a nice restaurant after all. And he’s embarrassing me. 

“A little less food consumption could do you some good,” I smirk, cutting up a small chunk of chicken with my fork and popping into my mouth. 

“You eat like a girl.” He chuckles. 

I glare at him. 

“Logan!” Ororo punches his shoulder. It’s a pretty good hit. 

That makes his ‘insult’ slightly more tolerable. 

“What??” He glares at her. “Why are you hitting me?? It’s true! He’s eating like a woman.” 

“That’s incredibly sexist, for one.” She growls. “Beyond that, it’s also an incredibly rude thing to say to your son.” 

“How is that sexist?” He asks. 

“I am a woman.” Ororo snaps. “Does that mean I should be eating a salad for every meal? Is that something you think we all do? Is that something you think-“ 

Logan holds up his hand to ward off a blow. “Sorry. Sorry. My bad. Sexist. I get it. Sorry- I’m old. Shit slips out.” 

She scowls at him. “You should apologize to him.” 

“For being sexist?” He raises an eyebrow. “He’s not a woman. That shouldn’t bother him.” He puts the small sliver that’s left of his burger down.

“For being an ass,” Ororo says. “You’ve been nothing but confrontational from the time we sat down.” 

“I have not!” He says defensively. “I’m picking on him. Relax.” 

“Don’t pick on him, Logan.” Ororo hisses. “He doesn’t like it.” 

“He likes it well enough.” Logan dismisses. “He does it to me.” 

I ‘pick on him’? He sounds like a child. An overindulgent, violent, child. I ought to ‘pick on him’. He deserves it. 

“Two wrongs do not make a right.” She says. “If you want to mend your relationship-“ 

“Wait, wait, wait.” I put my fork down. “There will be no ‘mending’ of our relationship.” 

“Daken-“ 

“No.” I cut her off. “No. I appreciate your concern- On some levels at any rate. But this isn’t your business.” 

“Lay off her son,” Logan growls. 

Oh, he wants to go- does he? I can go a few rounds with him. 

His girlfriend has no right to tell me what I will and won’t do. Mending our relationship is not on the table. If she knew me- she’d understand. 

If she knew HIM- she’d understand. 

How has he got this lovely woman so fooled? 

I’ve heard talk of Storm before. Former Queen. Goddess. Smart, strong, and above all else -formidable. What is she doing with him- of all people? 

She’s better than him on every level. They’re so mismatched that it’s disquieting. 

And yet here she is- fighting his battles for him. 

The coward. 

“Or what?” I counter. “You’ll bend me over your knee? Take your belt to me? What are you going to do?” 

‘ki ki!’ Li gasps, sitting up right. ‘don’t give him ideas! what if he tries them??? do you want to be whipped with a belt? you HATE belts!! why would you tell him that???’ 

Shut up, Li. 

I kick him under the table. 

I’m sat to Ororo’s right, Li’s across the table from me, and Logan’s off to his side. 

For all intents and purposes, it looks like we’ve got a free seat. When we were getting situated, I feared one of them would step on my ‘good buddy’ and realize he was there. However, they don’t seem to notice. Or at least- not yet. If he stays out of this conversation and minds his manners- we could make it through today. 

‘don’t fight any more ki ki. let’s go to rome already. this is boring. you’re just giving him ideas to hurt you. why would you do that? he’s going to hurt you. you KNOW he is. i know you’re scared of him. you told me you were scared of him. this doesn’t make sense! you don’t make sense! you’ve turned into one of those grownups who make no sense and do nothing but be confusing. like your old ‘customers’. you know that?’ 

Oh if Li only knew. 

I can’t address him at the moment though. I have to focus on Logan and his nosey girlfriend. 

“Or I’ll kick your ass.” He growls. “Apologize.” 

“I’m not apologizing.” I scoff. “She shouldn’t barge into other people’s affairs. She has no right.” 

“Daken-“ 

“No, he’s right.” Ororo cuts in. “It’s not my place. I apologize. I just hate seeing a father and son so at odds.” She looks down. “A bond between a parent and a child should be special. The fact that yours has been so… tampered with saddens me.” 

We’re not ‘at odds’. We hate each other. Is that so difficult for people to grasp? He made me. I don’t owe him undying love and gratitude for something he was biologically programmed to do. He figured out how sex works. Wow. He managed to make a baby. Again- I’m amazed. He did what men have been doing since the dawn of time. And I’m supposed to reward him with honor and respect for it? It’s simple biology. It’s like thanking a plant for producing oxygen. It’s literally what it was made to do. 

On some levels that is. I don’t really buy into the whole ‘meet, mate, and procreate’ ideology. At the time he made me, however- that way of thinking was just a given. It’s hard to say that he wasn’t thinking along the same lines. 

“We’re not ‘at odds’, ‘Ro,” Logan says gently. 

“But you are.” She says, sitting down her own fork. “You can’t get through a simple meal without fighting. A simple exchange of information is beyond you. You don’t find that vexing?” 

“It’s not-“ 

“We hate each other.” I supply. “It’s not vexing. It’s actually very easy to comprehend. He can’t stand the sight of me. I am his failure. The wrong he failed to right. Maybe a reminder of a woman he can’t stand to think about anymore.” I take a sip of the water in front of me. “Obviously he has no qualms about moving on. I’m sure, if she had lived, he’d moved on from her just the same.” 

“Daken-“ 

I raise an eyebrow. “You’re a lovely woman, Ororo. Surely you know what sway you hold over men. Surely you think you’re using this sway on him to achieve something… peaceful between the two of us. For his happiness. For yours- who knows? However, that will not negate the simple, painfully evident fact. We hate each other.” 

Logan stares me down. “I don’t hate you, Daken. We’ve been over this. I-“ 

“Christie told me you were here!” A new, loud, voice cuts him off as my friend makes his way over to our table, his arms spread wide. If he tries to hug me- I will punch him. He knows better. “Why didn’t you text? I could have gotten you your table!” 

I watch as Logan’s words die on his tongue. He thinks he’s the only one who can drop ‘truth’? NO. He hates me. He knows he hates me. He makes everyone think he doesn’t so he looks like a good guy. However, I refuse to let Ororo be fooled. She should be careful. She should be vigilant. He is not the man she thinks he is. 

I turn to the intruder with a plastic smile on my face. “Didn’t know if you were working or not,” I say pleasantly. “This is a happy surprise.” 

Logan glares at me as if waiting for an explanation. I’m not introducing Dante to him. If Dante wants to talk to him- he will. 

“Yeah?” Dante grabs a chair from a near by table and pulls it over, taking a seat as if he were invited. 

That’s the problem with Dante- he’s far too comfortable for my liking. 

“You haven’t texted in a while. Been on business? Vacay?” He pauses. “Surely not the big ‘R’.” 

“‘Big R’?” Logan asks. 

“Ya know- rehab.” He whispers ‘rehab’. “Hate to see it happen.” He turns to me. “It didn’t- did it?”He whispers.

‘what’s ‘rehab’?’ Li asks innocently. 

My drug ‘issue’ hasn’t been that bad here recently. I pride myself on that. I go through periods of time where my indulgences control me. Like back in LA. It takes forever to learn how to curb these desires. 

“Business,” I assure him. “I’ve been on business. “ 

“Thank god.” Dante nods. “You look good, man.” He puts his hand on my shoulder. “Better by the day…. you talked to Mark about that gig I told you about? He really wanted to meet you.” 

Mark is the model I did the porno with. 

“Yes. I met up with him.” I grin. 

And more. 

I’ve been… doing some work that others might find… unfavorable. 

I spent many a night in a whore house- honing my techniques of persuasion and sexual tempting. It’s… well… easy to pick up. 

Hmm. Put this way- I can’t make money solely killing people. I’ve resorted to… unique methods of income. Along the lines of a porno. Yet… without the camera. 

It’s not bad. It’s fairly easier than killing marks- yet leaves me time to do that. I can run off when I want to. The schedules are solely up to me. And further more- the men have to be nice to me. Nothing is too hard. Nothing is too over the top. There are no surprises. I can go to a small place in my mind and relax while I make outrageous amounts of money. 

It’s easy this way. I have no one to answer to. Any money I make goes solely to me… and I get to pick and choose what I do and don’t do. I’ve never had that option before. 

Dante’s friend helped me find a group of gentlemen who would… appreciate my talents. At 20k a night? It’s too hard to say I’d be making better money elsewhere. 

Some of them I don’t even sleep with. I spend hours inflicting emotions on them- of their choosing of course. There’s absolutely no penetration involved. Some go as far as to get me high or drunk- to have a ‘purer experience’. That’s fine with me as long as all of the materials are clean and new and the drugs are top quality. No cheap shit for me. If they want a pure experience- they pay top dollar for it. Those sessions are taxing on me- however. So the price is usually about 70k per every five hours. It’s actually surprising what men are willing to pay. 

I might even offer my services to Dante himself. I know he’d be willing to spend some of daddy’s money if I told him that I would do whatever he wanted me to.   
Dante’s kinks are far and wide. Indulging him in all of them seems to take up most of my patience. Some of his more…. uncouth desires have to be kept in check by his father. His father who cleans up all his messes and keeps him out of jail.

Dante is not a good man. There’s no denying that. He’s charming, he’s pleasant to look at, and most of the time he’s got a good temperament- but when it comes to drugs and sex… he’s a little uncontrollable. He’s had a few date rape accusations thrown his way. All of which I know are true. He’s tried that shit on me personally. Nothing a claw to the stomach couldn’t handle. How we remained ‘friends’ after that little ‘misunderstanding’ is simple. I like this restaurant. I like using him to get free things. I like playing on his base desires and watching him tick. 

In other words- this is a game for me. 

Everything is a game for me. Sex most especially. People do all kinds of fucked up things for pleasure. Leather, latex, clamps, water sports- all kinds of fucked up things. Dante used to be big into something called ‘age play’. I never got into it with him personally, but an acquaintance of ours said it got weird. Apparently, he likes to pretend to be a young child while he’s getting ‘raped’. Fucked up shit like that. Personally, having been a young child who laid with adults- it’s not my bag. I honestly don’t think I could go through with it. 

With all my tricks and all my powers- I don’t think I’ve ever crossed that line. I influence people- sure. I make them want me. But unless it’s for the good of the mission- I give them enough headspace to think somewhat clearly. If there’s any hint of tears- I have to leave. I hate cryers.   
Dante isn’t a cryer- most of the time. 

Honestly, I think he’s got some daddy issues. I think daddy pays just a tad too much for something that he doesn’t want to come into the light of day. Dante’s sister doesn’t seem to share these issues. So I’m guessing whatever happened is just between the two of them. It’s amazing what the rich can get away with. He’d rather pay to bail Dante out, pay for his hookers, and his drugs, and his entertainment- than admit whatever deep dark secret lurks between them. 

His father was teetering on the edge of being one of my many clients… but I decided better of it. Not so much for Dante’s sake- but for his sister. I’m fond of the time Sarah and I spend together. 

She’s an amazing fuck. If she could handle pain- I think she’d be the type Lester would enjoy. Not that I would share. I don’t like the idea of Lester touching her. In fact, I don’t like the idea of Lester touching a lot of my things. He gets nosey. And he is punished. The only problem is that the fuckers insane. Nothing really deters him.

He courts the punishments with a smirk and a maniac gleam in his eyes. 

Partly because he knows that turn about is fair play. And that along those lines- I like a great bit of pain myself. He can almost snuff me out wait a few hours and then come back and do it again. 

The good thing about Lester is that he doesn’t get clingy. Not like Dante. Sometimes he really just doesn’t give a fuck. He’s got better things to do. 

“Oh?” Dante smirks. “Anything good come out of it?” 

“Ask Mark.” I tease. 

“Oh don’t think I won’t.” He says. “Something like that? Too good to pass up.” 

“Something like what?” Logan asks. 

Dante looks like he’s just realized I was with company. “A friend of ours is a film maker. He wanted Daken to audition for one of his movies.” 

‘you’re an actor???????’ Li slams his fist on the table. ‘are you famous? do you know other famous people???? have you been to hollywood??? can we watch your movie???? did you make a lot of money???? is that where you made your money?’ 

I steal a glance at Li- who looks rightfully star struck. 

If I told him it was for porn- he’d probably be disgusted. He used to be when they took pictures of me. 

“Movies?” Ororo asks. “Daken I didn’t know you acted.” She smiles. “What a unique calling.” 

“Acted? These films are a breeze. You could pretty much do it laying down.” Dante’s eyes are dancing with mischief. “Did you do it laying down, Daken?” 

“You’d have to ask Mark,” I say. 

“Oh, I will.” Dante leans into me, “Tell me, is it on pay-per-view? Cinemax?” He whispers. He doesn’t know that Logan can hear him. I see the man visibly stiffen. 

‘what’s he whispering?’ Li demands. ‘i can’t hear him!’ 

I shake my head. 

“Online?” 

His breath is hot on my face, smelling of mouthwash. 

“On some of the more upscale sites.” I turn my head to get in his ear, “You and Mark should have a viewing party.” 

“Oh, yeah?” he smirks. “Did you take him up on his other business venture?” 

“Yes,” I say simply. 

“Making good money?” 

I nod. 

“Got high rates?” 

I know that our company has no clue what we’re talking about… but that if Dante keeps it up they might just get an idea. 

“The highest.” I smile. 

That doesn’t mean that I won’t fuck with his head. If he thinks I’m expensive- he’ll want me. Then I can drag him along and drain his bank account- like I do with most of these fuckers. There’s always more money to be made. Always new kinks to try.   
Even at my age- there’s always something new to learn. And when it comes to sex- I’m the world’s best pupil. Given my upbringing and all. 

“Been anywhere cool?” 

‘we could go somewhere ‘cool’ if we’d just get on the plane and go to rome!’ Li groans. ‘the queen is in rome. we need to go to her. why are we talking to this man? what’s rehab? what movie did you make? why did you do it laying down? what other business are you in with him?’ Li glares at me. ‘answer me, ki ki.’ When I don’t respond, he kicks me under the table. ‘you’re being a bad buddy!’ He snaps. 

“I’m going out of the country soon.” I indulge him- and hopefully quiet Li. 

Dante smiles. “Is anyone accompanying you?” 

“Not at the moment.” I make sure to hit him with a dash of lust. Just enough pheromones to interest him. Enough to tease. 

Logan stiffens again. His face is a mix of boredom and disgust. It’s an unusual expression for him to wear. 

“Europe seems to be Daniel’s favorite place to go. Have you met him?” 

I’m actually not sure if I’m completely comfortable talking about this with Logan so close. 

Teasing is well and good… but I think he’s picking it up faster than he should. 

Ororo looks uncomfortable- slightly. Not anything major. If she’s picking up on all this innuendo- she’s not letting on like Logan is. 

“Not as of yet.” 

“Pays well,” Dante says. “Likes-“ 

“What are you talking about?” Logan butts in, I guess finally having had enough of this. 

Just as well. I’m done teasing Dante anyway. 

Dante stops- as if having realized just now how inappropriate this topic of conversation is. 

“Movies.” He says quickly. “Just wanting to talk about some friends and their on going projects.” He smiles charmingly. “Daken’s a very good actor.” 

‘i don’t like him.’ Li says. ‘i don’t trust him. he doesn’t look like your other guys. he’s shifty.’ 

He’s a cokehead. I doubt Li’s seen one before.

“I’m an amazing actor.” I agree. “I think I’ll do more films in the future. Since they’re oh so easy to do.” 

“They’re not the only thing easy to do,” Dante whispers in my ear. 

Logan looks down right pissed. 

That makes me happy. 

“Aren’t we one to talk.” I smile. 

The man tips his head back and laughs. “You’re such a fire cracker!” He grins. “At least now we’ll have something to remember you by when you disappear off the face of the earth again.” 

Dante is thin- not much muscle to him. His skin is tan, lovely to look at. He’s got a classically handsome face. Nice jaw. Nice cheek bones. The right amount of stubble. His hair is pulled back in a pony tail, the ends holding their distinctive curl. I usually don’t fuck men with curly hair… but Dante is something else. 

“Business is business,” I tell him. “I go when I have to go.” 

Business is not why I stopped messaging him. He’s clingy. Like toxic sludge. Clinging to the skin and corroding it. I honestly don’t believe anyone actually LIKES Dante.

The fact that he knows so much about MY business semi alarms me. Fuckers been keeping track. And that’s a feat in of itself. This is one of those times when it’s good to have money and connections, I suppose. 

As for ‘Daniel’ I’m supposed to meet him this week. If I want to. With all this imaginary friend business and going to Rome- I don’t think I’ll have the time. 

“Yeah? Well, you look good man.” He smiles. “Amazing, really. Where’d you get your outfit? Paris? Moulin?” 

“LA.” I smile. Oh, California. Such a special place in my heart. 

And body. I’m not sure if the heat ever worked itself completely out. 

I mean it’s been years… but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was still some hint of it floating around. 

“LA? Is that where you’ve been?” Dante asks. 

Logan is glaring at me. He doesn’t like having one of his ‘heart to hearts’ interrupted. I, for one, couldn’t be happier with Dante’s impeccable timing. 

I shake my head. “I got it a while back.” 

Back when I was fucking with Marcus. God, sometimes I miss Marcus. Marcus was a challenge. So different from Dante, Lester, and Johnny. 

Maybe a little like some of my other men- however. I’ve had frequent ‘dates’ with a movie star. He likes me to tell him how small his dick is and then let him fuck me on all fours. …which is hard because of the small dick issue. He thinks he’s a god. Great at rimming, however. And I get discretely invited to all of his parties. He’s not that talented of an actor- true. But he’s one of the bigs in Hollywood right now. 

Good body- tiny dick. It’s almost a shame. Whatever. Money is money is money. 

Romulus always made sure to make money. Make connections. Make alliances. He taught me well. When he used me, he made sure I knew why. And if I know why I’m doing something- I know HOW to do it. So it gets done more efficiently. 

I bet Logan would love to hear about that- however, he seems to think I’ve got some mental malfunction that makes me… weak. I’d hate for him to think I’m falling in ‘old habits’. 

I can almost imagine his face. 

Probably a lot like what he looks like now. 

The cat is definitely out of the bag. 

He was fine with Laura’s past sex work- however. I don’t see why mine would be any different. I’m good at fucking. It’s like my powers were MADE for fucking. Why not get paid for it? 

‘don’t like this guy, ki ki.’ Li says. ‘don’t like him at all. let’s leave. he’s shifty. you can’t trust shifty people.’ 

“It looks good.” He repeats for the third time. He’s really laying it on strong. 

‘you don’t look THAT good.’ Li says. ‘what’s he want? why’s he being so touchy?’ 

Good question. What does Dante want? 

“Thank you.” I take a look at him- really looking hard. 

Server’s outfit- black jeans, black tightly fitted t-shirt. He’s got a good body- he works out like a mad man. He’s just thin. He never really bulks up. The best thing to do to rile him up is to say he looks flabby. He hates it. He stares in the mirror for an hour until you recede your insult. 

Dante doesn’t look like he needs anything. His parent’s give him all the money his spoiled little heart could want. He wouldn’t ask for drugs in front of other people. He… possibly could want me to let him talk to my father or Ororo- he does celebrity rags on super heroes. I know he’s recognized the two of them by this point. Maybe he’s laying it on thick so I won’t make him leave. Or maybe to make them think he knows me really well so they’re more comfortable telling him shit. 

He nods. “How long are you gonna be around? Sarah would love to see you.” 

“Oh, is she around?” I ask politely. 

“Just got back from Italy,” he says with a nod. “Dad paid for a summer abroad.” 

“And you didn’t join her?” How… odd. Dante and Sarah usually tag along on one another’s adventures. Usually, their parents send them both so they don’t get into as much trouble. Sarah is a lot different from Dante- but she’s still a spoiled princess. She has the capabilities for getting in just as much trouble as he does.   
He smiles and shakes his head. 

“No. Dad bought me a boat. I’ve been chillin’ on it for a few weeks.” he pauses. “You should come check it out! Maybe have some wine? We got a really good deal with a Vineyard over seas. France I think? They ship over some amazing wine. You’d love it.” He looks at me a tad too possessively.   
“You like… white wine. Right?” 

My company looks uncomfortable. I like that. I like that a lot. 

“Yes. White’s my favorite.” 

Growing up it was predominately red. Red wine gives me a headache. Romulus couldn’t get drunk as part of his ‘amazing’ healing factor… but his followers always had the ‘best’ on hand. They thought it was funny to get me drunk. To see how long I could stay drunk. To see what they could get me to do. OR what I would let them do. 

“Then you’d love it.” He says. “You can bring… who was it? Johnny Storm? That’s who you’ve been hanging with? I’d like to meet him.” 

Johnny would not like Dante’s parties. I try to leave him out of it. 

“And where did you hear that?”

Ah. So he wants access to Johnny. 

Flattery will get you everywhere. 

Dante smiles. “I’ve got my sources.” he looks around the table. “Have you paid yet?” 

“No.” 

“Awesome! I’ll foot the bill.” He turns around just as our waitress returns. “Alex,” he grabs her arm, “Go get me a bottle of that good wine. White.” He smiles. “And four glasses.” 

‘five….’ Li growls. 

“Sure thing Dante,” Alex says happily. 

Dante leans over the table and offers his hand to Ororo. “How rude of me.” he smiles when she takes his hand and lightly places a kiss on hers. “Dante. My parent’s own this restaurant.” 

“Ororo.” 

“Oh… sweet name. Sweet accent. You don’t hear many accents around here. It’s… Egyptian?” 

“I was raised in Cairo.” She says with a smile. “You have quite the ear.” 

He nods to me. “Took forever to place him. He barely has an accent at all. Speaks like fifteen fucking languages. But when he talks Japanese you can hear it.” He turns his attention to Logan. “The father.” He points. “The two of you in the restaurant? Let’s keep the claws in shall we gentlemen?” He teases. 

“How did you know-“ 

“I’m a part time journalist. I write all about metas and mutants and heroes.” He says wistfully. “Would love to meet Johnny Storm.” He side eyes me. “If someone would let me.” 

“Not going to happen Dante.” I chuckle. “You’re up way past his bedtime.” 

“Bedtime?” 

“Good boys stay in at night,” I smirk. 

“You wound me!” Dante laughs. “I’m a good boy!” 

‘i don’t think he’s a good boy.’ Li crosses his arms. ‘i think he’s a bad boy. and i’d really like some of that wine, ki ki. tell him to bring another glass. i want to try it! it comes from france! we like french things! remember?’ 

I always have liked my things to come from France. There’s just something….. calming about that region. We visited Paris when I was a child. Met some kind of diplomat. Swayed him on delicate matters by using me- and then using him using me as blackmail. I don’t remember what we did fondly- but I remember the area. I go as often as I can. 

Fuck. Here goes Li drudging up dreaded childhood memories again. 

“Then you wouldn’t be spending so much time on that fucking boat.” Yet another voice joins us. A female voice. Airy and high. She sounds like she should be a singer. I know from experience, however, that singing and Sarah are two things that do NOT go well together. 

“Sarah.” I greet with a slightly warmer smile. The woman has curves for days. It’s the first thing I see when I look at her. Slim waisted, top heavy, long legs, and a pile of black curls pinned on top of her head. Same classic beauty as her brother. 

“Naughty boy.” She teases. “Sneaking in here and not saying a single word.” She rests her hand on the back of my chair. 

“Because he was talking to me,” Dante says snarkily. “When he has me- why would he need you?” 

“Because my company is better than yours.” Sarah smiles. “And you know it.” 

Alex comes back with the glasses and the wine bottle. 

“Really Dante?” Sarah rolls her eyes. “It’s not even noon.” 

“And? I’m celebrating.” Dante takes the wine and the glasses and sets them on the table. “Daken’s going to tell me all about his adventures.” he winks at me. “Off the record.” 

“He’d be an idiot to do that,” Sarah smirks. “And he’s not an idiot.” 

“What? You’re implying I can’t keep a secret?” 

“Well- you can’t.” 

This is… getting tiresome. 

“Actually- I’m about to leave for a vacation,” I say. “I’ve got to go pack.” 

‘finally!’ Li stands up from his seat, scooting the chair back ever so slightly. Luckily between the siblings fighting, Logan’s disapproval of my knowing them, and Ororo’s polite disinterest of the current events- no one notices. 

“Oh??” Dante says. “Where are you going?” 

“Rome actually.” 

“I love Rome!” Sarah gasps. “So beautiful.” 

I nod. “It’s been nice seeing you both.” 

Dante grabs the wine bottle and passes it to me. “Take this. You’ll love it.” 

‘so he does give you presents.’ Li says with a nod. ‘do you send him naked pictures?’ 

“Thank you.” I nod to him. 

“Need anything else? We’ve got some great crepes. You want some to go?” 

How easily I’ve wrapped this man around my finger. It’s almost sad. Almost.   
Part of me really enjoys the attention. I don’t even have to use my pheromones. It’s so … refreshing to see what I can do on my own- sans powers. 

“I’m good.” 

He nods. “Your meal is on the house.” He says. “All of your meals.” He nods to Logan and Ororo. “Get whatever you want.” 

“We’re actually leaving too,” Logan says. “Taking Daken to the airport.” 

Like fuck he is. 

‘ohhhhh. is he going to come?’ 

Dante looks like he wants to disagree with Logan, but thinks better of it. 

“Have a nice flight, then.” He stands up. “When you get back in town- shoot me a text. I’d love to show you the boat.” 

“Or…” Sarah says, “If you want to have some grown up fun- there’s an art exhibit downtown. I need a date.” 

“Boats are more fun than art,” Dante says. 

“Art is more sophisticated than hookers and coke, Dante,” Sarah says with an eye roll. It’s her signature move when dealing with her baby brother. 

“Hookers and coke are not all I do.” He sighs. “I make videos too.” 

Annnnddd that’s enough. 

“With said hookers.” She says meanly.

“Siblings.” I interrupt them. “Play nice. I’ve got to go. Don’t kill each other, alright? Your father would never let me back in if you died on my behalf.” 

The two of them break out into equally charming smiles.

If there’s one thing their parents did correctly it was making pretty children. I’ve never actually met them- but I’m sure they rank somewhere on the attractive side of things. 

“Let us know when you’re back in town,” Dante says. “We’ll settle it then.” 

‘settle what then?’ Li asks. Settle who’s going to get into my pants- most likely. 

Sarah if I feel like doing work, Dante if I feel like laying back and getting fucked for a few hours. 

Cocaine and sex is a hell of a combination. 

I may even make him pay me. Who knows? It’s a kind of thing I play by ear. 

Getting up from the table is slightly hard with the two of them situated so close to me. It takes some maneuvering. 

Logan, Ororo, and I head out the front door to the street with Li tagging along at our heels. 

‘finally! on to better things! like drinking that wine! let’s get drunk ki ki. you like getting drunk. we can play games when you’re drunk. like hide and seek. or cards. whatever you want! then we can go to rome.’ 

He’s really sold on us going to Rome today. I hate to tell him that it probably won’t be for a few days. I doubt he’ll take that well. I have to get some things in order before I just up and vanish, after all. 

The wine bottle in my hand is rather large. Still corked. No one’s drunk from it. I like the idea of having something expensive that no one else has touched. 

“So… you going to explain any of that?” Logan crosses his arms as the doors to the restaurant close behind us. 

“No,” I say simply. 

“Not even the video part?” He stares at me with a look of disapproval I’m not sure I’ve necessarily earned. 

Like I mentioned before- I’m not the only ‘child’ of his to do sex work. If it makes money and keeps me from killing people- shouldn’t he be happy? 

“No.”

He frowns. “So you’re not ‘acting’ in any of your ‘friends’ movies,” he says in disbelief. “Dante was lying. Is that what you’re trying to tell me?” 

Ororo looks a little embarrassed by my father’s line of questioning. “Stop.” She nudges him. “Not the time or place.” 

“He said you could do it ‘lying down’. Is that what you do? Is that how you make your money? On your back?” 

“Are you mad because I’m doing sex work or because I’m bottoming?” I growl. 

‘you always bottom.’ Li says dismissively. ‘you don’t know how to do anything else.’ 

Completely wrong. I can pitch just as well as I can catch. 

I mean… usually. Yesterday was kind of a low blow… but I’m going to firmly blame that on Li. 

“You know what I’m asking.” He growls. “Don’t try to flip this into some kind of social statement.” 

“Social statement? Is that what you think my sexual orientation is about? A statement?” I snap. 

“Of course not.” He snaps right back. “I just want to know if you’re doing more movies. That’s it.” 

“Why should you care?” I growl. 

“I care.” He says. “Is that all you’re doing? Does it stop there? He said you only made one. If you live around here,” He motions to the street and surrounding buildings, “you’ve got to be making money somehow.” 

“What do you want me to say, Logan? You asked if I made money legally. As far as I’m concerned porn is perfectly legal.” 

“Are you just doing porn?” He restates his question.   
“That’s none of your business!” I snap. 

“If you needed money you could have come to me. You don’t have to work in the fucking sex industry.” He hisses. 

“Logan,” Ororo says lowly. “Enough.” She grabs his shoulder. “We should go.” 

He glares at her and pulls away. “You lay back and let a man fuck you for money.” He growls at me. “That’s prostitution right there.” 

He’s making me think that he knows exactly what else I’ve been up to.   
I’m not sure I like the thought of him knowing. 

“Like you’ve never watched porn!” I groan. “It’s okay with you if some woman does it! Why not me??” 

“You’re my son,” Logan growls. “That’s why.” 

“I’m your son only in title and when it’s convenient for you.” I spit. 

“Daken- please,” Logan says. “Why do you always start this??” 

“Start this? You’re the one that bitched me out for working!” 

“Porn is not a job!” He growls. “Make money elsewhere.” 

“Like.. hits? Because you asked what I did legally. Porn is legal.” 

‘porn? you did porn? like sex? for money? with someone filming it???’ Li gasps. ‘that’s not movie starness ki ki. that’s work. you hate that kind of work!’ Li crosses his arms. ‘i came just in time. you need me. you’re doing everything you said you wouldn’t. remember? the list? you don’t know any famous people. you’re just having sex for money!’ 

Ugh. I can’t take both Logan and Li berating me. 

“Porn is not a living. I don’t want to see you whoring yourself out for cash!” Logan yells.   
People walking by on the sidewalk pointedly look down and walk faster. 

“Logan.” Ororo whispers. “Enough. This isn’t the place to do this. Let’s go.” 

“I don’t think I asked for your input!” I yell back. 

Logan reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wad of cash. “Here.” He snarls, shoving it in my direction. 

“You’re trying to pay me off so what- I don’t embarrass you??? God forbid any of your precious super heroes find out!” 

“Take the fucking money,” Logan growls. 

“I don’t need it.” I snarl. 

“Take the fucking money!” He repeats, going face to face with me. 

“I don’t need your hand outs,” I growl. “I’ve made it this far in life without you. I don’t need you now.” I put my hand on his chest and shove him back a few steps. 

‘ki ki stop!’ Li gasps. ‘really! you’re gonna make him mad! remember what we talked about??? what if he tries to hurt you again??’ 

Logan stumbles for a second before righting himself and glaring at me. “Don’t do any more porn.” He says lowly. “Don’t whore yourself out for money. I’m willing to help you. Maybe get you a real job… have you thought about a real job? Maybe going to school for something? You’re fucking smart enough.” 

That…. is odd. I feel my eye twitch. “And are you giving Laura the same advice?” I growl. “Do you want her to go to school?” 

Logan shakes his head. “She’s a hero. She doesn’t need school.” 

“She’s a… wait- wait. So because I’m not one of your goodie goodie save the world look at me I’m perfect fuck heads- I have to find something to do with my life???” 

“Logan, this is coming out horribly.” Ororo whispers. “Maybe you both need to cool off for a bit.” 

“You’re doing porn!” Logan spits. “Porn! Sex for money! And selling it to people! Do you like people looking at you like that, Daken?? Do you like all the people who’ve seen that video to know so much about you and make assumptions-“ 

“I did it one time!” I yell. “And I got paid! Legally!” 

“For porn!!” Logan throws his hands up. “You had SEX FOR MONEY!” 

“Legally!” I cry in exasperation. 

His brows scrunch together and he exhales slowly. “Go to college- son.” Logan takes a softer approach. “Business? You ran things back in Madripoor for a while. You’d be good at it if you learned to do it above the table.” 

“I don’t want to go to business school- Logan.” 

“How about….” he pauses. “I don’t know! Marketing? Political Science? Art? Music? What do you like to do?” 

I cross my arms. “I like to kill people and fuck. Sometimes I get paid for fucking. Sometimes I get paid for killing people. It all works out in the end. More over- I do whatever I want to do. I don’t like someone telling me what I can and can’t do with no input from me.” 

“You don’t like to kill people.” Logan sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You just don’t know any better.” 

“Who are you to tell me what I do and don’t like?” I spit. 

“A concerned parent,” Logan says. “Son, make a life for yourself.” 

“I have a life.” 

“Ro- help me out.” Logan turns to the woman. 

Ororo looks between us. “Daken, I think what your father is trying to say is that he wants you to be in a spot in your life where you are… taken care of.” She pushes some hair out of her face in a distracted motion. “Maybe, if you don’t wish to pursue an education- pursue a relationship? Something to balance you and-“ “Not with that dick head in there.” He points back to the restaurant.

“Maybe consider … starting a family?” Ororo says tentatively. 

“I’m not a breeder,” I growl. “I don’t like children.” 

Ororo pauses. “Do you have any relationship possibilities at the moment, Daken?”

‘johnny and lester. are you going to marry one of them?’ Li asks. 

“I have people I see regularly,” I growl. 

“And they’re fine with you doing porn?” Logan demands. 

Yes, Logan, they are. In fact, they pay me to do things that porn would never film. 

“Logan,” Ororo says sweetly, “we’re not talking about the porn anymore. Okay?” 

“Like hell we’re not.” He jabs me in the chest. “Make an honest living. Or else.” 

“Or else what?” I snap. 

“Or else……. I don’t know! I’ll stop all your movies. I’ll get you blacklisted-“ “For making money???” I’m floored. 

“For fucking for money.” Logan steps up close to me again. “I know what happened when you were younger. I know it. I’ve SEEN it. If you think I’m going to let you rely on those habits that he drilled into you- you are wrong. You don’t need to fuck for money. You don’t need to let people take pictures of you. You are not going to do it- do you understand me? You’re going to do something worthwhile. Something that makes you happy. Something that will support you and your lifestyle-“ 

“Who the fuck are you to tell me what I will and won’t do???” I spit, taking my hand with the wine in it and pushing him off of me again. 

“Your father.” He growls. “If you don’t want me to hunt down all of your ‘film makers’ and ‘clients’-“ 

I stop, seething. “What did you say?” 

Logan stares at me for a second. “You heard me.” 

‘what’s he talking about?’ Li asks. ‘what clients?’ 

“What did you say???” I demand. 

“Clients.” He crosses his arms. “The people that pay you to sleep with them.” 

“Logan.” Ororo hisses. “Please- not the time or place.” 

“No.” Logan puts his hand up to hush her. “He’s sleeping with people for money. Some scumbag had his name down on a list- if I didn’t get to it before the cops did- he’d be in jail for prostitution. Do you want that, Daken? Do you want to go to jail?” 

Ororo mutters something, looking skyward. She knows she can’t control him. 

My mind is cold. My blood is cold. “How do you know?” I demand. 

Logan glares at me. “You want me to give away my sources?” 

I grab him by the collar. “WHO TOLD YOU??” 

“Daken enough!” Ororo pries my hands off of Logan. “That’s your business.” She gets in between us. “Not ours.” She turns to Logan. “Apologize.” 

“No.” He growls. 

“Apologize!” She snaps. 

“No.” He scowls. 

“Logan I can make you a very unhappy man.” Ororo threatens. “Say you’re sorry. You’ve embarrassed him when he came to you for help.” 

‘you’re sleeping with people for money???’ Li puts his hand on my shoulder. ‘ki ki how could you not tell me?’ 

“I will hunt down each and every one of your clients and make them too afraid to touch you. Do you understand me?” Logan ignores Ororo entirely. “You are my son. You will not sleep with people for money. You will not make porn for money. You will not debase yourself for money- do you understand me?” 

“Don’t tell me what to do.” I snarl. 

“You are an abuse victim.” Logan presses on. “Falling into the same systems of abuse that you’ve been raised in. I won’t let it happen. I won’t-“ 

“Where are you getting this from?” I demand. “Who the fuck do you think you are to call me an ‘abuse victim’??? You don’t know me! You don’t know anything about me! If you think-“ 

“I have had the same conversation with Laura,” Logan says. “She understood.” 

“I’m not Laura!” I yell. “You don’t get to tell me what to do!” 

‘ki ki…. you are an abuse victim. what they did to you was abuse. why are you fighting with him??’ 

“Do you fuck Dante for money?” He asks. 

“What?” I’m a little thrown. 

“Do you fuck that dick head for money?” He repeats.

“Why does that matter?” I snarl. 

“He was talking about you fucking other men-“ 

“Is that it? You have a problem with the men? Would you be reacting this way if it were women I was sleeping with? Hmm? Or is the thought of my orientation something so disgusting for you-“ 

“I don’t care that you’re Bi.” He says. “I don’t care if you decide to be gay- even. I don’t care. I just don’t want you to be a whore- okay?” He hisses the last part. 

“I’m not a whore,” I growl. 

“You are being paid by men to sleep with them.” He says. “That’s a whore, son.” 

“Logan that’s very insulting.” Ororo snaps. “Really. If you knew this before hand you should have found a different way to bring it up.” 

“I didn’t believe it until I heard Dante talking about it.” He says. 

Right. I almost forgot that Dante brought it up. 

Foolish, foolish, Dante. Who knows who he’s told? 

“I’m going to Rome.” I change the subject entirely. “Don’t follow me.” This is said with a growl. “I don’t need you.” 

“Oh don’t worry.” Logan chuckles dryly. “I’ll be taking care of business right here.” 

Do I want to know what business is? 

“Logan.” Ororo snaps. 

“I’m gonna find your clients,” he says. “And they’re going to be too afraid to touch you.” 

“Would you really cut off my source of income because it makes you ashamed?” I growl. 

Logan scowls. “Son, please. I’m protecting you. You kept a record of what those men did to you- I’ve seen it. You don’t want to do this again. Not with everything so close to your mind.” 

We fall into silence. 

“I’m going to Rome,” I repeat. “Don’t follow me.” 

I don’t want to know what records he found. I don’t care if I’m the one who originally wrote them- I was a child. I didn’t understand how things worked. 

‘you’re a whore.’ Li says lowly. ‘i’m so sorry ki ki. i’m sorry your life has turned out this way. we don’t have to go after the queen today. we can take the day off. you can tell me about it. we can write it down. like we used to? in your book? it made you feel better. you must feel awful. you always did. now you’re all… dirty. i’ll give you a bath! like ana the horrible did? you liked her baths. the soaps and bubbles- the warm water. you loved it.’ 

“Son… wait.” Logan puts his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t… do anything stupid… okay?” 

“Oh- now you care?” I scoff. 

“This whole fucking conversation has been about me caring!” He throws his arms up. “Why can’t I get you to see that? Your mamma would turn in her grave if she knew what you were doing!” 

“Leave her out of this!” I snarl.

“Me letting you do this is like me spitting in her face.” He says softly. “So I won’t. I’ll do what I have to do. If it affects your income- I’ll supplement it.” He squeezes my shoulder as if he hadn't just told me a load of horse shit. 

“I’m not taking your fucking money.” I spit at his feet. 

Logan inhales deeply. “Don’t spit at me.” 

‘ki ki stop!’ Li gasps. ‘you’re not being smart at all!’ 

Li grabs my shoulders and starts to tug me back from Logan. He manages to make me stumble. 

“Are you alright?” Ororo asks, concerned.

“I’m fine.” I struggle to right myself. 

‘we’re going to rome, ki.’ Li says tugging on my shoulder stubbornly. ‘tell them ‘goodbye’.’ 

I take two more steps back. 

“What are you doing?” Logan asks. 

“Nothing,” I growl. 

‘come on.’ Li grunts. ‘don’t be difficult!’ 

“Stop it,” I growl at Li.

I try to stay in one spot, planting my feet, but he pulls me backward- landing me on my ass on the side walk. 

“Daken- what the fuck?” Logan moves forward and offers me his hand. To pull me up I think. 

Li growls impatiently and swats his hand. 

Logan’s hand doesn’t move, but his eyes travel downward to it. “What the hell?” He must have felt something.

‘i’ll push him off you- ki ki.’ Li threatens. ‘if you don’t come with me- i’ll take on your dad and he’ll know i’m here and you’ll get in trouble.’   
It’s a valid threat. 

“Come here.” Logan offers his hand again. 

“I want to sit on the ground!” I snap before Li can touch him. 

“…Why?” Logan asks, withdrawing his hand. 

“Because you upset me, asshole!”

‘we’re going to rome!’ Li stomps his foot. ‘get up here!’ 

“I upset you because I won’t let you sleep with men for money?” Logan scoffs. “So you sat on the ground. Like a fucking child.”   
It’s better he thinks I’m being childish than suspects anything wrong. 

“Daken, perhaps the ground is not the best place to sort out your feelings.” Ororo butts in. “It’s quite filthy.” 

‘get up!’ 

I cross my arms. “The ground is a perfect place to sort out my feelings. Leave. Both of you. I’ll be fine.” 

“You’re being childish.” Logan says. “is this how you plan to get your way?” 

“My way? How could I get MY way?? You’re going to threaten all my clients- remember?” 

Logan looks up and mumbles something to himself. Maybe numbers? Counting. He’s counting down. He can’t get mad and slash the fuck out of me in public. 

“I know three lists you’re on.” He says. “The actor, the CEO, and the politician. If you think I’m not going to act on that information- you don’t know me very well.” 

‘up and at ‘em ki ki.’ Li goes for my hand, yanking it off the sidewalk and into the air. 

“What are you doing with your hand?” Logan asks. 

I look at it, my whole arm outstretched as Li pulls me forward. “I’m stretching!” I snap. 

“Right now? I’m trying to have a conversation with you.” Logan grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet. “Better.” He says with I’m standing up right. 

‘not better.’ Li grabs me around the waist, pulling again. 

“Daken… are you alright?” Ororo asks in concern. “Honestly- are you seizing?”

I stumble back again. Oh, Li and I are going to have one hell of a discussion.

“I’m not seizing.” I snap. “I’m-“

“Are you on drugs again?” Logan demands stone faced. 

“Drugs?? I’m not-“ 

‘come on ki ki.’ Li pulls me backward. ‘time to go home. bath time. then a nap. then i’ll pack your things. then we’ll go to rome.’ 

“Stop it!” I have to snap at Li. 

“Stop what? Who are you talking to?” Logan stares at me with a look I can’t quite interpret. “Daken… son… are you high? Is that why you need all this money? Laura said you were acting weird last night-“

Oh, she did- did she? 

“I had an infection.” I snap. 

‘is that flaring up again?’ Li gasps, stopping his pulling. 

“Bullshit,” Logan says. “You’re on drugs again. Boy, how many times do I have to tell you-“

I take a step forward. “You will not butt into my life,” I growl at Logan. “And do not- and I mean this- do NOT- EVER call me boy! I’m not your boy. I’m not your friend. I’m not your-“ 

“You’re on drugs.” Logan shakes his head. “I knew it. I knew it. You’d been too good for too long. What’s it going to take for you to get clean? What is it? Coke? Your buddy in there is pretty coked up. LSD?” He pauses. “You’re not stupid enough to be on Heat again- are you?” 

“I am not on drugs!” I snap. “I’m not seizing. I’m not on drugs. I’m fine.” I glare at him. “Stay out of my life. I don’t want you here. I don’t need you here. I don’t need you fighting my battles or telling me what I can and can’t do. I’m not one of your little students. I’m not one of your lackeys. And I’m not the ‘good child’ who does everything you tell him. I came to you for help. You’ve given me what I need- so leave. We’re done. I won’t call you. I won’t visit you. I won’t go near you. Just stay away from me, my home, and my business- okay?” 

“Your business is technically illegal,” Logan says. “And your behavior is off. I’m interfering. It would take a fucking army to stop me so you’d better just get used to it.” 

Fuck it all Li. This is what I knew would happen. 

Being accused of having a drug problem is somewhat of a surprise- but the ‘off behavior’ is something I had pegged. 

I could tell them what’s actually going on- but that wouldn’t help me right now. In fact, it might make it worse. And right now? This is a shit show. The last thing I need to is to add fuel to this fire. In fact, I need to go. Li is right. It’s time to go home. If for nothing else- to get away from Logan and his ‘helpful’ urges. 

“I don’t need your fucking help!” I snap. “I need to go home- okay? I’m just going to go.” 

“I don’t trust you,” Logan says. “Come with me.” 

“Fuck you.” I snarl. 

Logan shakes his head. “Come with me or I will subdue you.” 

“Logan- please.” I hiss. “I’m fine- okay? This is a misunderstanding. I’m fine.” 

“You’re ruining your life.” He hisses. “It’s not ‘fine’.” 

“Ororo- please.” I turn to the woman. “Tell him to let me go. This is ridiculous. What’s he going to do- drag me to your school? In what world is that safe? Talk to him.” 

“Daken… your father really cares about you. It’s obvious you are in…” Ororo motions to me, “Some kind of distress. Would accepting his help be so wrong? It won’t kill you. And maybe, when you’re stable, you can pay him back or some such notion.” She smiles. “I know that personally, I’d be more than willing to assist you in anything you need. Whether it be looking for work, seeking education or… treatment.” 

I’m dumbfounded. “I do not have a drug problem!” I cry. 

“You’re strung out on something.” Logan leans forward, taking my chin in his hand and looking into my eyes. “Can’t tell what.” He mumbles in concentration. “We’ll need to do blood work. We can get Hank to do it.” 

“I’m not on drugs!” I shake my head out of his grip. 

“Would you be willing to take a test?” He asks. 

“A…. a.. “this is stupid. So moronic. “A drug test??? What am I … sixteen? You’re not touching my blood!” 

‘you do like drugs though.’ Li says in my ear. ‘come on good buddy. come on. let’s go home. you’re tired. i’m tired. i’m hungry. we can eat the rest of the ice cream!’ 

“Prostitution, porn, and drugs.” Logan counts them out on his fingers. “You need help.” 

What??? What? “Logan- stop,” I demand. “I’m fine.” 

“Just tell me what you’re on.” He says. “We can compromise. Tell me what you’re on and I’ll drop it. You won’t have to take the test.”

I can’t remember exactly what the last thing I used was- but it was recently and it was a lot. There may be a trace of it somewhere. I’d hate for any little thing to pop up on one of those tests and fuel his fire. 

Li pats my shoulder. ‘tell him what drugs your on and we can go.’ 

“I’m not on any drugs!” I glare at Li.

‘i found needles in your apartment. i know they used to give you stuff in needles when you were a kid… you liked it. you liked it a lot. it made you happy. it made you hurt less. it made-“ 

I stop listening to Li. Once again I find myself remembering. Something I’d rather not remember… but it’s a memory none the less. Why did I like those injections? 

Why do I like drugs? Why is this a problem for me? 

Even when it’s not- like right now. People THINK it is. There’s no way I can convince Logan of anything other than what he already believes. Because he knows my ‘issues’ when it comes to street drugs. 

The needles though…. yes. I’ve used many times over the years. Especially when I was younger. Not twenties young- no. Younger. Like…. eight or nine. THEY injected me. Sometimes against my will. It’s a method of getting me to behave. 

“Daken?” 

It made me an addict. In the fifties or so- after the world war- meth was in use all over the place. They used to give it to soldiers to keep them awake. Romulus kept company with several soldiers and generals. I spent a night with one of those generals who really fucked me up. Like blood- everywhere. I was torn to shreds. Apparently, when he was done- he felt bad. He gave me some of his stash to make me feel better. It quickly became a method of control. As those things tend to do. The day Romulus decided to do it away with it was one of the worst in my life. The withdrawals from such steady stream of use were dramatic. 

It’s not the same as it was…. I don’t indulge too terribly often. In fact, I’d prefer cocaine. Actually- I’d prefer Heat. But I’m not stupid enough to go down that rabbit hole again. 

No matter what Logan seems to think. 

“Daken??” 

The fact that Li so easily found my needles… well, I need to reconsider where I hide things. I mean, I don’t really have people over. It’s never really a big deal. The meth was a gift from a client who’d asked if I’d ever used before. 

‘ki ki? your dad’s talking to you….’ Li says. ‘you haven’t said anything in about… three minutes. you’re just staring off into space.’ 

Fuck. 

“What are you on??” Logan demands. “I can drag you home with me and have you tested if I want and you know it.” 

“Do not threaten me!” I snap, coming back to my senses with a sense of anger and betrayal on behalf of my own mind’s ability to make it seem like something is wrong. “I’m not on anything, I don’t need any help, and I want you to leave!” 

“It makes too much sense.” Logan shakes his head. “What are you on? Just tell me. Trust me. We can help you.” 

“Because I’m doing a job you don’t like- you automatically assume it’s for something nefarious?” I spit at him. 

“I’m making those visits today.” He says stubbornly. “If the clients keep seeing you- I’ll cut ‘em up piece by piece. Every time they touch you- they’ll lose a finger. I’ll go around to the dealers- anyone who sells to you will lose a hand. Anyone who makes a film or takes a picture of you that you don’t send for personal use- will lose a whole fucking arm.” He points at me. “And you’re going to take a test. And if anything- and I mean ANYTHING- shows up on that- you’re going to a treatment center.” 

“Who the fuck do you think you are???” I demand. 

“Your father.” He says. 

“Logan this is too harsh,” Ororo says. “Take a softer approach. Remember?” She whispers. “Like we talked about?” 

“Daken,” Logan says. “Take the test, agree not to see the men, agree not to star in any more films, and let me help you.” He says all this softly. “Please. Before I have to do something drastic.” 

“You wouldn’t dare,” I growl. 

“I owe it to you, after everything you’ve been through-“ 

“What- you’re having survivor’s guilt on my behalf??” I snap. “Go to hell, Logan!” 

‘ki you’re being way too mean.’ Li gasps. ‘let’s go! before he drags you off!’ 

Li switches up tactics and starts pulling on my hand again. 

“Stop it!” I snap as my arm is pulled to the side. 

“What …. what are you doing?” Logan asks in confusion. 

“He must have used before he came to see us.” Ororo whispers. “We’ll have to call someone to come get him.” 

“I did not use before you I came to see you!” I growl. 

“Then you used last night?” Logan asks.   
“No!” 

‘come home, ki ki.’ Li pulls harder than before. It feels like he’s going to dislocate my shoulder. That would be some feat. 

“Stop!” I turn to him- the pain making me not really care that Logan and Ororo are present. “Stop!” I yell at him. 

‘home!’ he demands. 

The wine bottle is heavy in the hand he’s pulling. If he keeps it up I might drop it. Then that would be a shame. 

“Son….” Logan motions to me in a helpless gesture. “What are you doing?? Are we gonna fight? Is this a fucked up way to get me off my guard?” 

“Go home!” I yell at Li. 

‘not without you!’ he snarls. 

We struggle with each other- him finally knocking me onto my back pinning me down again. 

“Daken- seriously- what the fuck???” Logan leans over me. “Are you okay?” 

“It’s none of your business!” I yell at him. 

“He’s having some kind of… fit.” Ororo whispers to Logan. “We should call a doctor.” 

Li pushes the hair out of my face. ‘come HOME.’ He demands oh so sweetly. ‘before this gets any worse.’ 

I nod. “Fine.” I hiss. “Fine. You win.” 

“Who is he talking to?” Ororo again. 

“Who is he fighting with is a better a question.” Logan leans over me. “… son?” 

He doesn’t see the imaginary man on top of me. 

“I think he’s upset,” Logan says. “He’s having some kind of… episode.” 

“You were rather harsh,” Ororo says gently. She joins him, also bent over top of me. “Perhaps-“ 

“I’m going home,” I announce to them as Li dismounts me. 

“Like hell you are.” Logan snorts. 

“I must have traces of the infection left in my bloodstream.” I lie. “It’s making me irrational.” 

“Infection. yeah. Right.” Logan nods patronizingly. 

“It’s true,” I growl. “I got stabbed by Lester-“

“Who’s Lester?” Ororo asks. 

“Fucking Bullseye,” Logan growls. “Seriously- seriously? You sleep with that maniac? What’s wrong with you, son? Don’t you have standards?” 

I exhale slowly. “He stabbed me while we were fucking. The blade was dirty. Maybe poisoned. I’m not sure.” 

‘your infection is back!’ Li says loudly. ‘we’ll need to pick up some bandages.’ 

I close my eyes. 

“I’m not on drugs- but I am poisoned. It’s affecting my behavior.” 

Logan looks at me for a long minute. “I don’t buy this for a second.” He growls. 

I sit up on the ground. “Well, it’s true.” 

Ororo leans in Logan’s ear. “Let him go.” She advises. “We’ll keep an eye on him. If anything else happens- we’ll interfere.” 

Logan crosses his arms. “Fine.” He says. “Fine.” He points at me. “Go home. If anything else happens, anything at all- I will be there. No movies, no clients, no drugs. Got me?” 

‘nod, ki ki.’ Li says. 

I’m forced to nod. It’s a lie, of course. But I nod anyway. 

“Okay.” Logan doesn’t look happy. “I mean it, Daken. I have connections all over the city. High up connections, low down connections, middle ground connections- I know all the key players.” 

I glare at him. 

“When you need cash- if you don’t find a legal job that doesn’t involve getting naked- call me.” 

“I won’t.” I snarl. 

“You will if you want to keep your apartment.” He smirks. “And…. if I catch wind of you hanging around any of the dealers- your ass is mine.” 

These sudden parental restrictions are not sitting well with me. 

“Fine.” 

I’ll get drugs from out of state. I’ll get clients from out of state. It’s not that hard. Logan thinks he has me in a corner? Fuck that. Fuck him. Fuck everything. 

‘ki, you’ve done great.’ Li squeezes my shoulder. ‘let me go give you a bath. wash all that dirty off of you.’ 

I don’t have the nerve to glare or talk to him, so I just stand to my feet and brush myself off. 

Miraculously, the wine bottle did not break. However, I realize we’ve just had this argument in front of a restaurant filled to the brim with people. I see them shamelessly pressed against the glass. 

Logan notices them with a small smile. “Sorry.” He says. “Didn’t mean to make this so public.” 

“Sure. Right.” I glare at him. 

“It was lovely to see you, Daken,” Ororo says pleasantly. “If you should need anything-“

“I won’t.”

“But if you should… we’re right down the road.” 

‘we’re’. They’re a ‘we’re’. Fuck it. 

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” I say dryly.

‘there you go being stuck up again.’ Li tsks. ‘when are you going to learn?’ 

“Go home.” Logan orders. “Go to Rome. Be careful. He’s out there somewhere.” 

I glare at him. Logan nods. “Just be careful.” 

I nod ever so slightly and turn away from them, leaving them both well dressed, clean, and normal looking there on the sidewalk. 

As we’re walking away, I’m sure to discretely kick Li in the shins. 

He cries out but grumbles, ‘i guess i earned that one.’ 

Fucking right he did. 

He made a mess. A huge mess that now I’ve got to clean up. 

And if there’s one thing I can’t stand… it’s cleaning up other people’s messes. Be they imaginary or factual.


	6. When the past comes a’knockin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is so loonnnnng. Sadly as far as the update- I wrote it al in one day but then got distracted and forgot to post it. So yea. That’s a my bad. 
> 
> Non/con is mentioned heavily but not shown. It may be shown in later chapters- I’m not sure at the moment. So keep a watch for up here. 
> 
> A lot of you are saying how annoying Li is and I absolutely love it. I based him off several real life people I’ve met and yea.... you can imagine how annoying those interactions really are! 
> 
> Anyway- thanks for commenting and leaving kudos and more importantly reading!  
> Hope y’all enjoy and as always- leave me a comment to tell me what you think!

1952  
I can’t stop crying. I try my best not to. I know they’ll be angry if I keep at it- and the last thing I want is them angry. I know how horribly that goes.

But….

It hurt so much though. So much more than I thought it would. There were so many of them. So many hands. So many feet. So many loud voices. And fire-burns hurt.

More so than I thought they would.

In fact, if I had to pick a least favorite sensation -it would be burns. I didn't think I'd ever be in a situation that I'd need to know what kind of pain I did and did not like. I thought all pain was the same. Now I’m learning that there are all different levels of pain. I’ll never be upset about a skinned knee again. If the other children from my village could feel this- if they knew what real pain was- I doubt they would carry on as much as they used to.

Supposedly I'll learn to like it -eventually. I don't know if I like the thought of that or not. It seems far more destructive than I'd like for it to be.

Everything is far more destructive than I'd like for it to be. No one is really asking what I want.

I’m so… small. How can they hit someone who’s so much smaller than them?? How can they put these things inside of me…

The thought brings more tears.

Ana always teases me when I cry. It's like she doesn't remember what it's like to be little. I guess it was too long ago for her. Ana’s old. Older than she looks. She won’t tell me how old- but she grins a little when I try to guess.

Adults are so … odd. I can never tell around here when they’re angry. Sometimes, Master smiles even though he’s angry. Sometimes I think he smiles because he’s angry. I didn’t know a person could like being angry.

The man smiled tonight. He didn’t sound angry- but the way he hurt me seemed to suggest otherwise. I’ve been playing it over in my head all night… and I still can’t think of what I did to make him so mad at me.

The thought of that man …. Of what he's done to me- how can I not be upset? It's only been a few hours. And they were there. All of them. They saw it and did nothing.

Maybe they were angry too.

I broke one of the numerous rules, I suppose. But they don’t tell me the rules up front. So I have to replay the situations and try to figure out where my mistake was. Part of me thinks they’re just punishing me to punish me. That maybe I didn’t do anything to begin with. That maybe they’re just being cruel to be cruel. Maybe they don’t know any better.

They sent me here - to my room. I can still smell him on me. I can still feel the pain.I have to think of something else. Anything else.

If I want to be quiet I've got to think of something else.

I look around my dark room- they don’t even give me a lamp. Or in the very least- a candle. But there’s nothing. A box of weapons I’m supposed to learn. Usa- who Ana brought me. The others weren’t happy about that- but he helps me sleep. They stopped complaining as much when they realized they could get more sleep with me silencing myself.

Usa’s soft fur isn’t helping tonight. I want a real rabbit. I saw some in the courtyard the other morning. I wanted to follow them- to see where they were hiding in the compound. Master did not like my distractions and corrected me accordingly.

My mat is uncomfortable. My old room used to be so much more…. inviting.

I could go to my book. The one thing I’m allowed to have that I can have a somewhat private experience with. But then, I don’t know very many ‘grownup’ words and phrases. And my handwriting is shaky. I know my spelling isn’t where it should be. But then again- I’m small. I haven’t been writing for long.

My eyes wander to the floor beside the mat. I look at the box I was given, laying here in the dark. It’s empty now. I ate all the candy before Master could take it away from me.

I suppose I’ll be beaten for that tomorrow. Maybe. He seems to find something to beat me about on the daily. I ought to try harder to appease him.

A loud knock sounds from the other side of my wall. One of the grownups is tired of my wailing. I put my fist in my mouth to try to quiet myself- but muffled sounds still escape.

I miss home.

As much as I try to not think of it- as much as I try to think of THIS as my home- I miss my village.

I miss food that I actually like. Clothes that I actually want to wear. Adults who didn’t beat me on sight. Who’s hands didn’t roam quite as low as the adult’s here tend to.  
I reach my free hand over to the box, running my fingers over the stones. It was a nice gift. That man always has the nicest things.

The thing I remember most is his ring. A large blue stone inset- almost like a woman’s ring. It’s for a woman. His wife.

How can he lay with me- and then go to her?  
Why does he wear the rings first? Are their fingers the same size? I’d like to think a woman would have slimmer fingers than his…. when he puts them inside me they always feel so big. When women put things inside of me it always feels smaller. I wonder if he’s married to a woman at all. Maybe he has a husband instead.

But… that doesn’t make sense. Because he lays with me. We do what adults do… and he always has a good time. I think. I’m told I’m doing everything right so long as I don’t cry. I don’t know. I have a lot of questions that no one seems to want to answer.

Like- If we’re laying together- doesn’t that make us married?

If I’m married to him- how can he have a wife? Aren’t you supposed to be only married to one person?

Ana says if I grow up to look like what they think I’ll look like- I’ll have a wide array of men who want to lay with me. I could have a harem. Whatever that is. I think she said it to be a joke.

When he lays with me- I’m his husband- because that’s what married people do.

If that makes us married- then I have a lot of spouses. I should have a ring from each of them.

I look down at my ringless hands and feel slightly put out.

It’s enough of a distraction from my crying that the sound quiets.

When that happens, the knocking stops.

I lay on my mat cold, exhausted, and hungry.

I wish I hadn’t eaten all of that chocolate. I should have eaten some and hid the rest.

I wonder if he’ll give me more candy.

More candy in more pretty boxes.

That would be nice.

I remove my hand from my mouth and play with the box with both hands.

Smooth stones meet my fingers with a coldness I wasn’t expecting.

I think the thing I’m missing the most is other people. True- they weren’t kind to me at my village. I’ve never had many friends…. But I’m the ONLY child here. There is no one to talk to me. No one that wants to hear what I have to say. If it’s not amusing for them, or to their benefit in some way, they want me to be silent and obedient.

‘hi!’

I jump when I hear a voice. A voice I haven’t heard before. A voice that sounds nothing like me. Where?

‘in here!’

I look at the box in my hand.

It has to be coming from in there. It’s so close!

‘that’s right! open the box!’

“Hello?” I put the box to my ear. “Stranger?”

‘open the box!’ The voice is friendly.

I need a friendly voice right now.

Maybe the man has given me another gift… one that it had to be dark for me to see!

‘i’m a friend!’ the voice tells me. ‘i wanna help! open the lid and we can meet each other!’

“I don’t know if I should.” I try to use my best English. I’m a good student. I hope it shows.

‘of course you should.’ The voice says. ‘i'm your friend. i want to help.’

“Your voice doesn’t sound like mine.” I want so badly to open the box- but I’m trying to be intelligent about it. What if it’s someone who shouldn’t be let out? What if it’s someone who wishes me harm? Or my master harm? He wouldn’t take well to me letting strangers in the compound.

‘nope.’ He says cheerfully. ‘i’m not from around here.’

“Where are you from?” Curiosity is getting the better of me. He sounds friendly. And he wants to help. Looking at myself, at what’s happened today- I need help. Maybe he can help me find a way out of here. A way to someone who can help me without hurting me.

There’s a chuckle. ‘i’m from the box.’

“What box?”

‘in your hands.’ He chuckles. ‘that’s my home.’

“You live in the box?” I ask in awe.

‘yes. and i can come live with you… if you open it.’

“Can’t I just come see you? In the box?” It sounds like a sound compromise. Master couldn’t find me in the box. When he’s angry, I just go and visit this stranger until he’s not angry anymore. I wonder how small I’d have to shrink to fit….

‘oh, you don’t want to live in the box.’ He says. ‘you’re a child. children need room to run and play.’

I don’t get to run and play though. However, it’s not polite to correct adults. So I let the mistake slip by un-noted.

“Is it nice in there?” I have such a longing to be somewhere else. Anywhere else. If i can just escape into the box… if I could fit- that would be wonderful. What a great hiding spot! They’d never find me!

‘it’s okay… but boring. i want to see the world outside the box! i want to make friends! and now you have my box- that makes you my friend. so what do you say, buddy? are you going to let me out so we can play? it’s what a friend would do after all.’

I have to think rationally. I would like to have a friend- it’s true. But if Master doesn’t like the box man- he’ll get rid of him. It won’t do me any good if my friend is killed because I let him out.

“It’s not safe out here,” I tell him. “Maybe you should stay in?” I offer. “I could take your box somewhere safe and then open it…. my master is down the hall- you see. And his hearing is very, very good. if he hears you he might hurt you…. and he’s really good at hurting people.’

‘but i want OUT. we can’t be friends if we can’t meet. i’m not scared of your master.’

“I would very much like to meet you,” I say. “But my Master will kill you on sight.”

‘then he won’t see me.’ The man says. ‘i promise. open the box buddy. i can help you. i know you need help.’

The fact that he’s a grownup scares me a little. Last time a grownup was in this room- it didn’t end well for me. It never does.

“How do I know you won’t hurt me?” I voice these fears quietly.

‘why would i hurt you?” he sounds appalled. ‘i want to be your friend!  
friends don’t hurt friends.’

He’s… got a point.

“If I let you out you’ll be my friend?” I ask quietly. I honestly don’t think I’ve had one before. I’m not sure I’d be a very good friend.

‘the best friend.’ The man promises. ‘i’m here to help!’

“Okay.” I grin. “I’ll let you out.”

The lid makes a small squeaking sound as I open it.

I expect to see him. But the box is so tiny. Maybe he’s miniature. Like the size of a toy! My own little man. I can carry him in my pocket so Master won’t see him.

I look down into the empty darkness. “Hello?”

There’s nothing in it. No little man at all.

“Stranger?”

I’m disappointed and somewhat hurt when there’s no response.

“Oh.” I sigh.

I guess he didn’t want to be my friend after all. Maybe he’s changed his mind. I didn’t open the box fast enough. How stupid of me. I guess he thought I would have made a bad friend.

That’s not a surprise. No one really seems to care for me that much anyway.

I sigh again and set the box down, laying on my back and pulling the blankets up to my chest. My friend’s sudden disappearance brings tears to my eyes again. I guess help isn’t coming. I knew it was a long shot anyway. Maybe I’m doomed to this. Maybe this is my destiny. Maybe I just need to accept that and move on with my life.

It’s late. I don’t get to sleep for that long anyway. I should be trying to rest.

‘that is a great idea.’

I jump again, sitting straight up and wiping my eyes.

A man sits on the edge of my mat, long black hair in a ponytail, pale skin  
seeming to glow in the moonlight. He stares at me with big blue eyes.

‘hi.’ He waves. ‘thank you for opening my box.’ He smiles. ‘you wouldn't believe how long I've been in there!’

I nod. “It was nothing.” I hope that's the right thing to say. I want to seem friendly. I want the box man to like me. “Thank you for coming out.”

He offers his hand to me. ‘li.’

I take it- it’s cold. “My name is-“ I stop. Which name to give him?? No one who truly liked me would call me ‘Daken’. But then I’m not allowed to be called Akihiro anymore either.

He stares at me. ‘did you forget your name?’

I bite my lip. “No… but I have two of them- you see. I don’t know which one to give you.”

‘oh.’ Li taps his lip with his finger. ‘the man who gave you my box called you ‘daken’. that seemed like a mean name. why would he call you that?”

I look down. “Because my blood is impure.”

‘impure?’ Li gets up and leans over me. ‘you look pretty normal to me.’

“I’m not Japanese though.” I try to explain something I myself don’t really understand. Apparently my father was an evil man who hated my mother and I. So much that he killed her- and tried to kill me too. He wasn’t Japanese but she was. So my blood is mixed. That’s why they call me ‘mongrel’. Because I don’t have pure blood. It’s a mean name- I certainly didn’t ask for it. I don’t understand why my father married my mother if he hated her so much. Why they decided to have a baby if he would hate me before I was even born. I’m so mad at him. He’s dead. And if he wasn’t- he wouldn’t care for me. Master said if he was alive- he’d try to kill me again. He’s training me just in case that happens. He says my father was a monster. A beast. That makes me half beast too. That scares me. I don’t want to be an animal. I like being a person. Even a mutated person like myself.

‘you sound japanese.’

“But I’m something else.”

‘you look at least half japanese.’ He smiles. ‘does that help?’

“Not really,” I admit. “Other people don’t like the other half of what I am… and I don’t know what that half is.”

‘you don’t know what you’re mixed with?’

I shake my head.

Li stares at me for a long second. ‘at least you're mixed with two humans- right? you could be mixed with something like a frog. that wouldn’t be a pretty mix at all. ‘

That makes me laugh. The image of half frog people.

I wonder if they would walk or hop… or maybe a weird mixture of the two. The thought is enough to make me giggle.

‘i like your laugh.’ Li smiles. ‘you look much better smiling than you do upset.’

I have to agree. “Master doesn’t like it when I smile.”

‘whhhaaat? you’re not allowed to smile?’  
I nod. “Or laugh.”

‘that’s barbaric!’ Li says in disgust. ‘you need more help than I originally thought uh-“ he pauses.’I still don’t know your name. If you don’t like being called a mean name- what can i call you?’

“My old name was Akihiro… but I’m not allowed to use it anymore.”

‘i see.’ Li hums to himself. ‘i’ll call you ‘ki ki’ then. or ‘ki’, respectively. that way it’s not ‘akihiro’ but it’s not ‘daken’ either. it’s a new name altogether! how do you like that?’

I nod. “I like that a lot.”

‘good.’ He goes back to the edge of my mat. ‘why were you crying, ki ki?’

“You heard me?” I want to crawl under my blankets and hide. How embarrassing!

He nods. ‘you weren’t exactly quiet.’

“Did I wake you up?” I’m mortified.

‘no.’ He chuckles. ‘i wasn’t sleeping. i was listening.’ he pauses. ‘why were you crying?’

I look down again. “The grownups hurt me.”

‘how?’ He asks gently.

“They hit me. And kick me. And burn me. And whip me. And yell at me. And lay down with me even though we’re not married and don’t want to make a baby.”

‘wow. that’s bad.’ Li says quietly. ‘i can see why you would cry.’

I nod. “When they hit me... and burn me… and kick me... and put things inside of me. It hurts me very badly.”

‘then i came just in time.’ Li says. He offers his hand to me again. ‘well, good buddy… i’m li the amazing- at your service. i have a whole slew of games and tricks we can play. a way to get back at the grownups.’

“Get back at them?” I question.

Li nods. ‘how old are you, ki ki?’

“I’m six.” I like to think I'm advanced for my age. The grownups seem pretty pleased with my progress….. I'd like them to think me smart…. I'd like the box man to think me smart too.

‘not old at all!’

“I’m almost seven.”

‘still not very old. not old enough for the grownups to be mistreating you at any rate.’ Li looks me over. ‘why are they hurting you?’

I scratch my head. “They’re making me into something. I don’t know what… but I’m supposed to be better at it than I am.”

‘if you don’t know what you’re supposed to be- how do you know you’re bad at it?’

“They tell me,” I say simply. “I’m a failure. So they beat me. When I’m not a failure- I won’t be beaten anymore.”

‘that makes sense i guess….’ Li says. ‘but it’s still terrible.’

“I think so too,” I admit.

‘where are the other children?’

“There aren’t any.” I look at him. “So I have no friends.”

‘you-“

“That is enough- child.” Someone snarls from the door. “Do you think it’s very courteous of you to keep all your handlers awake at night? You selfish thing. We should cane you until you learn to be silent. If it weren’t as late as it is- you can bet that I would without hesitation.”

My head shoots in that direction.

“Ana I-“

“We look after you all day- the least you can do is go to sleep when you’re told. You want to know why you’re so tired during the day when you sit up at night and play childish games with yourself.” She snarls. “Sleep.” She orders. “You’re granted three hours a night. You staying up to .. cry.. and talk to yourself is not acceptable.”

“I’m not talking to myself!” I point to Li. “I have a friend!”

“Friend? What friend?” She scowls at me. I want to curl up to avoid her eyes. “You have no friends. You’re not allowed to have friends.” She points to where Usa is discarded on the floor. “If you must- for the time being- you can have the bloody rabbit. That’s what it’s here for. If you weren’t so young and foolish you wouldn’t need it.”

“Ana my friend lives in the box.” I point to it. “He’s a grownup- like you!”

Li is shaking his head. ‘don’t tell her where i live ki ki! she can take it away!’

“No one can get into this compound and you know it. And there is most definitely not someone in your box.” She hisses. “Go to sleep.”

It’s dark, I can barely see her. But I see Li glaring at her.

“Can’t you see him?” I ask.

“I see you- disobeying me. As always.”

“I’m not-“

“Go to sleep.” She orders. “Your Master is tired of hearing you.”

Master heard me? How close is he to my door?

“The next person who comes in here may very well be him. If you don’t listen to me now, you’ll be right sorry you didn’t.” She glares at me. “Go to sleep.”

‘wow. ki ki this lady is mean.’

I look at my friend, torn.

‘don’t say anything. she can’t see me anyway.’ Li says. ‘lay down. i won’t go anywhere, i promise. we can talk tomorrow.’

I like the idea of having a friend in the room with me. I’ve had very few friends in my life. The idea of making one and then having them leave so quickly does not sit well with me.

“Sorry, Ana,” I mumble, laying down.

Li smooths the blankets under his hands, tucking me in.  
“I’m sure you are.” She crosses her arms. “No foolishness- do you hear me? None. Whatsoever.”

“No foolishness,” I repeat.

“Be an obedient child for once in your godforsaken life.”

“I will.” I close my eyes- to make her leave.

‘she’s horrible.’ Li whispers.

When I open them Ana is gone and Li is laying beside me, looking up at the ceiling.

“Her name is Ana,” I whisper to him as quietly as I can. The last thing I want is for Master to come in here. Ana may not be able to see Li the amazing- but I bet Master could smell him.

‘ana the horrible. henceforth and forever.’ Li nods. ‘she’s a right terror.’ his voice mocks the way Ana sounds.

I can’t help but giggle.

There’s a louder, more ominous knock on the wall followed by a stream of curses. It was a man- but not Master. Must be one of his followers. We got some guests tonight. I suppose they live here too if they’re in this part of the compound. I’ve yet to figure out whose rooms are down here- but I know that when guests stay over- there is another wing. Master doesn’t let them sleep near him. Sometimes I doubt that Master sleeps at all. Maybe that’s why he’s so mean. He’ll disappear for weeks at a time- then come home and asked not to be bothered for a few days. Maybe that’s when he’s sleeping. If so it’s only a few days out of the month. Is it possible for someone to stay awake that long? Master defies logic sometimes. I don’t think he’s human at all. Some kind of monster maybe. Like a dragon in human form. I’ve watched him closely though and he doesn’t seem to be able to control or breathe fire. Dragons always breathe fire.

I put my hand over my mouth to silence the giggles- hoping that the knocks will stop.

‘get some sleep, ki ki.’ Li says. ‘sounds like you’re going to need it. we can start playing in the morning.’

I nod and close my eyes again.

It feels nice to have a friend for once. I wonder what kind of games he has in store for us. Something fun? I hope it’s fun. Li seems fun. I don’t think he would get me in trouble. And he’s going to help me get back at the grownups! What a wonderful thing to do!  
—————————————————————————  
Present

‘rome. rome. rome. ki ki are you listening? let’s go to rome!’  
I roll over on the bed and try to messily shove Li off.

‘ki come on! we have to go!’

We do have to go. But our flight isn’t for another six hours.

“We’ve got time, Li.” I groan.

I try to shake the memories that have been playing behind my eyelids.

This ‘rest’ has been everything but.

Li groans, rolling over and draping his arm around my waist. ‘i’m bored.’

“I need sleep,” I say. “Really, Li. I need sleep to function. We’re not going anywhere until I’ve had it.”

Not to mention I had to take a phone call from one of my ‘clients.’

Phone sex has never been tiring for me before. Not until Li was in the fucking background trying to ‘help’. His knowledge of sex is so juvenile.  
Like everything else he does/knows. I don't know why I'm even so surprised still.

Still…. an extra thousand was deposited into my account. So it wasn’t all bad.

The dear senator just had to get his ‘fix’ after a fight with his wife. Whatever. At least he didn’t want to do it in person. I don’t know how far I can push this new ‘line’ my father has drawn in the sand. That being said- I’m going have to wait to push the boundaries until I track down Remus.

I’ve got to play this carefully. I have no doubt that Logan- thinking he’s playing the ‘hero’ and ‘saving me from myself’- would go and take down my clients for the hell of it.

Logan can’t possibly get onto anyone for phone sex, however. It’s not really me ‘whoring myself out’. It involved no bodily contact or fluids.

Not that I cum when I’m with clients anyway.

That’s one of the unspoken rules. Unless they specifically ask for it- I never finish. Just like when I was younger. It took me a surprisingly long time to understand what an orgasm was. I’d been having sex for years before I actually had one. When it happened I thought something was wrong with me. I’ll admit, I was older than I should have been to be so scared. Not that Romulus went out of his way to instill proper sex education in me. I learned what I could as I went and they corrected when they saw necessary.

Damn. Here go these thoughts again.

Someone call Dr. Phil. What a sob story I make.  
If Romulus were here he'd make me regret every ounce of weakness I've managed to show. I don’t know how I’m going to face him after all of this. It just seems… impossible. What do I tell him- the man who made me? That my life sucks because of him? That I hate him? That I want him dead? When it boils down to it- he raised me. He never loved me- true- but he raised me. I owe him that one kindness. My training was harsh- but thorough. I can understand why Li is holding a grudge- I am too. But… I don’t know what I’ll do when I’m faced with him.

Li talks a big game- but if I’m remembering correctly there were times when Romulus scared him as well. If he thinks he can stand up to him now- after not seeing him for fifty plus years- I think he’s in for a shock.

That is if Remus even tells us where he is. She may not know anything at all. Who knows how well she’ll cooperate? Or if she even remembers me.

I let out a yawn and try to focus on getting back to sleep.

‘you’ve had sleep now.’ Li says. ‘let’s-“

There’s a knock at the door.

I’m.. not expecting anyone. Fuck it all Li. This man will be the death of me. I swear.

I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling. “Did you text someone from my phone?” I demand of Li with a hiss.

‘no.’ He smiles. ‘is it the man who was asking you to finger yourself?? he sounded like fun!’

“No, he didn't .” I snap. At least it had better not be him. He does have a habit of showing up unexpectedly.

‘how about your dad? he seemed pretty worried.’

“I doubt it.” I snort, getting to my feet and going to the door.

The person on the other side sounds… agitated.

That narrows it down to about five people.

“Don’t pretend to not be home, princess.” The person growls, pounding on the door. “I saw you go in and I know you haven't left.”

The nickname narrows it down exponentially.

“Darling.” I open the door to see Lester, dressed in his full uniform (dashing to some- I’m sure), with his arms crossed. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

I don’t even bother asking how he found me. I always knew there was a possibility he’d get bored and track me down.

I honestly hope today’s not one of his ‘kill Daken’ days. I put him in the hospital last time. It was a decent hospital and his ‘secret identity’ stayed intact. Not like walking around with that scar on his forehead affords him much privacy anyway.

“Saw you at that fancy restaurant today.” He pushes past me, coming straight into my home.

“And?” I close the door behind him.

“And… you gonna tell me you were hookin’? Dude that’s nasty! Who knows what diseases you could have given me?” He turns on his heel and glares at me. “For old men too? Fuck. I hope your old man kills all of them. Every single one. You’re nasty. You shoulda told me. Fuck. I knew I was sharing you with pretty boy- fine whatever. But every fucker over the age of sixty in the entire city? Fuck you- princess. That’s nasty.”

Shit am I tired of having to explain myself to all the ‘men’ in my life.

“I don’t see where that falls under the category of your business, sweetheart.”

“The fuck it doesn’t.” He crosses his arms again. “Had you a little bitch meltdown didn’t you?” He grins. “Something about being on drugs? Daddy seemed mighty concerned. Please tell me you’re not sharing needles you get-“

“Is that why you’re here?” I smile, circling him like a shark. “You want me to share my stash?”

“The fuck I do.” He snorts. “Came for a different reason, actually. Just starting some conversation.”

“Oh? We’re on business are we?”

He nods. “Someone paid me to off you.” He grins. “Or to ya know- try.” His eyes glint. I have no doubt that there are a million violent things going through his mind right now. All of which I've just opened myself up to by letting him in my home. “Maybe more of a torture session like thing. I don't know. But the cash is good sooooooo…… I'm gonna have to hurt ya at least a little.”

That stops me. I glance him over. “You didn’t bring enough firepower.” I grin. “This seems like a slight to my abilities.”

“Relax numbnuts. I’m not gonna off you…. yet. Just need some info. Get him off my back. Maybe go to your bedroom and carve you up nice and pretty…. he doesn’t have to know that I didn’t torture you torture you. We can have some fun.”

“Oh?”

He nods. “I just want some info.”

“Is that all?” I cross my arms. Why would I give him anything he wanted? If it were Johnny I might slightly consider it. As is- I don’t care what Lester does and doesn’t want to know. I’m not obligated to tell him a fucking thing. As for ‘carving me up nice and pretty’ that has some…. appeal. But I don’t really feel up to Lester’s brand of affection today. It’s probably best just to get him to leave.

He nods again. “What are you on?”

“So you do want my drugs?” I chuckle. “I was thought the bottle was your  
MO.” I let out a small stream of pheromones- just enough to fuck with him. Not to arouse per se- but definitely enough to put some thoughts in his head.

“It is.” He pauses. “What no- it ain’t. It’s- fuck. I mean-“ He stops, holding a hand up. “Stop with the fairy shit- princess. I’m trying to think.”

“I’m barely dosing you at this moment.” I tease. “You’re this flabbergasted naturally.”

“Like fuck I am!” He snarls.

“What do you want, Lester?” I ask cooly- dropping my teasing tone as soon as my sentence left my mouth.

‘oh this guy again.’ Li says from the bedroom, just having joined us.

“Info.”

‘it’s the guy who gave you the infection. nasty guy. why’s he wearing a costume? why’s it got a bullseye on his forehead? that seems like a poor design….’

“On what exactly?”

“Your suppliers. Your clients. Your producers.” He smiles. “So Spill it, princess. Tell me all your dirty laundry. Old Bullseye’s here to listen to all your little girly problems.”

“Why?” Now I’m suspicious. Bullseye… listening? Fuck no. He’s up to something.

“I have a right to know- that’s why.” He chuckles. “You’re fucking me- you’re fucking them. We all have a right to know.”

“What gives you this right?”

He sits down on my couch, propping his feet on the coffee table.

“I’m fucking you.” He says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“So is Johnny. And Dante. And all these other bastards. What’s your point?  
We’re not exclusive.”

“I know we’re not.” He snaps. “But I have a right to know.”

“Look at this way,” I drawl, “I’m not charging you.”

‘he’s mad that you’re having sex for money?’ Li asks. ‘what is it with all these people today?? tell him to hit the road. we’ve got to pack.’

Li is right- in some aspects. Lester needs to leave.

“No… but you’re fucking just about every old geezer in the fucking city. I kill chicks like you. For fun.”

“Why were you following me today?” I scent the air- his scent is his usual smell of chemical imbalances. Someone’s still off his meds. Pity.

“I told you- I was paid to off you. Saw your little ‘display’. Acting like a fucking idiot in front of daddy. You must be on something good. What is it?”

“Fuck off- Lester.” I snap. “Don’t follow me. I told you if you kept it up I’d put a claw through the pretty little tendons in your hand. It might not scar your permanently- but it would put you out of work for a nice long time.”

“Why are you fucking people for money? I kill hookers. Mac eats hookers- you remember Mac? He’s got his alien suit again- he’d sure love to catch you on the street. Hookin’s nasty. You’re nasty. I can’t believe you’d do this shit. Surely you’ve got enough cash to keep your ‘posh poser’ lifestyle going.”

“And we’re back to this.” I can’t help but smile. “Put a knife in me, sweetness. If it helps relieve some of your tension… unless it’s something else you want.” I purr.

“I put in a knife in you-you put your claws in me.” He waves his hand through the air. “I end up in the hospital.”

“But it was a nice hospital.” I smile.

He nods. “Point.”

“If you’re done-“

“Do they all film you?” He continues his questions. All my interrupting doesn’t seem to bother him. I’m not used to him being so hard to bait. With him being off his meds- I thought it would be easy to goad him into an argument or two.

Li stands in the doorway, wiping sleep from his eyes.

‘ki ki this guy scares me.’ he whines. ‘send him away. i don’t like the way his eyes look.’

Li has a point. No one’s eyes shine quite like darling Lester’s when he’s thinking of violence. So creative he is. So impulsive. So …. fun.  
Fucking with Lester is like trying to fuck a tiger. At any minute, those claws and teeth can shred into you- without warning. Just because he feels like it.

“Films me?”  
“You made a porno.” He says. “I saw it…. pounded your ass right into the mattress. Do they all film you?”  
“That seems mighty personal.” I look around the room- trying to get a few steps ahead of him and locate any projectiles that might be laying around. Unfortunately for me, I spot quite a few. Including a magazine with those cardboard subscription tags inside. I know how much he likes cardboard. His affinity for playing cards being taken into consideration.

“Do they all film you?” He asks again. “All of them cumming inside you and filling you up like the slut you are. Heh. I thought you’d at least keep it classy. But no. There you are. Moaning, leaking cum, grinding down like a horny teenager-“ Lester smells a bit horny himself right now. “You’re nasty.” He repeats. “I can’t believe I even still WANT to fuck you. You’re one lucky bitch- let me tell you. If you didn’t bleed so pretty-“

“You’re done,” I growl, done with him. “Get out.”

“What?” He looks genuinely confused. I don’t usually stop him mid-rant.

“I had to hear this from Logan. I’ve had to hear it from Johnny. I am not hearing it from you- got it?” I hiss.

“Oh, so pretty boy knows!” He snarls- angry once more.

Seems I found his weak spot. Lester… is jealous.  
Look what we have here. I could really have some fun with this.

“Yes.” I in a clipped tone. “Because he asked.”

“I’m fucking asking!” Lester spits.

“And now you fucking know!” I fire back.

‘wow. you say ‘fuck’ a lot when you talk to him.’ Li whispers.

“Who’s your dealer? What are they dealing? What are you on? Who are your clients? Who’s filming you? Where do the films go? Where is all this money you’re making going?”

“Why do you want to know????” I cry in exasperation.

Lester frowns, tenting his fingers in front of his face. “I just do.”

“Why?”

“Because I fucking do!” He snaps.

“Get out, Lester.” I point to the door. “And stay out. If you show up here again- I will move. And you won’t see me for a very long time.”

“Don’t I fucking wish.” He chuckles. “Answer the questions.”

“Why do you want to know?” I demand again.

I’ll forgive his refusal of my wishes for now… but if I ask again, and he stays- we’ll have a problem. For right now, I’d rather not get blood on my carpet.

“Because my employer would like to know.” He looks at the ceiling. “I figured I’d ask nicely before beating the shit out you. I mean- not saying that’s off the table… but I’m getting older- ya know? Take mercy on a guy. Heh.”

“Your employer wants to know my whereabouts?” That brings a well of disgust to my mind. What low life hanging around Lester- of all people- needs to know my business? Whose feathers have I ruffled this time?

“My employer fucking loves you from the sound of it. Number one fan. Old looking fucker. Definitely fits your clientele.”

Who?

I’m thinking as hard as I can… and so far as I know- I haven’t pissed any of my clients off to the point of hiring an assassin. Especially one of Lester’s caliber. That takes some serious gall. And cash- for that matter. My darling little pet doesn’t come cheap by any means.

‘this guy scares me.’ Li hangs back in the bedroom. ‘send him away, ki ki. we’ve got stuff to do.’

“I’m not answering any of your questions,” I say coldly. “Leave.” I slide my two claws from my knuckles of my right hand, keeping the third for later. “Before I make you.”

“Hey, I’m tracking you- he’s tracking me- he can come get the answers himself.” Lester gets to his feet. “Whatevs. I get paid either way. Just figured since I found your snazzy apartment- finally- I’d come see it.”  
So he’s led this man right to me….

“He’s following you?”

I guess I’ll be getting blood on the carpet after all… if Lester’s not careful, his will go quite perfectly with mystery man’s.  
He thinks he can get away with shit like this. He puts too much faith in the notion that I might be attached to him.  
Attachment makes for weakness. If he had any idea just how disposable he really was, I doubt he’d be smirking at me right now.

“Creepy bastard.” Lester nods. “Big Bastard. Dude’s huge.” He smirks wider. “Seemed to like you well enough. Paid up front too. Nice cash. Double my usual fee. All to get me to find you. I bet he’ll be here soon.”

“And you led him to my house??” I growl.

Fuck him. This person doesn’t sound like my usual clientele at all. An old politician with a grudge- that would be easy. A larger person- if he’s as big as Lester is making him sound- will be more of a challenge. Not that I’m not up to it, mind you. I just really don’t want to fuck up my carpet. It’s so expensive to clean and finding someone who will discretely clean blood stains is hard nowadays.

“Yep.” He nods before jerking his thumb to the bedroom. “Wanna fuck now princess… or are you going to pout on me?”

“Fuck? You want me to fuck you?? After you just led some stranger to my home??” I’m actually shocked by the nerve of him. He’s most definitely off his meds.

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch.” Lester snorts. “I’m sure you can take him.”

“Lester-“

“I mean- I think you can take him. I’m kinda planning on filming it. For personal use. I think he’s gonna beat you black and blue. Cut you up nice and pretty. Looks like dude’s got a pair of claws of his own. Should make for some nice footage.”  
Claws of his own? Big? Surely Creed’s not stupid enough to try to gun for me. I mean- I never put anything past him… but when last we spoke- he seemed to be under the impression that fighting me was not in his best interest.

“I should have killed you back in Avenger’s Tower.” I hiss, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“But you didn’t.” Lester walks back to the door. “If we’re not going to fuck…. and you don’t want to tell me anything- I’ll be out here in the hallway…. ya know. Settin’ up the camera.”  
Surely it’s not Creed. It can’t be. Isn’t he still running with those so-called ‘heroes'?

“Who are you bringing here?” I growl. “What is his name?” That should settle it. Though… if it were Victor- half of his joy comes from tracking. I’m sure he would have found me himself. That narrows down the possible identity some… enough to be slightly concerning at any rate.

“Ron something or another. I dunno. I didn’t pay attention. Just know he had cash and grudge for you. That’s all I need.” He waves from the door. “If you’re still alive…. we still on for next week?”

That… is worrisome.

Downright troubling actually. I should make Lester leave and then head out- discretely watching who comes to my door.

“Thought you had plans,” I growl, somewhat caught up in my own thoughts.

“I’ll reschedule.” He grins. “Try not to get blood on your fancy carpet- princess. It’s a bitch to get out.”

He goes to open the door, only to have it opened in his face by someone from the outside.

“The fuck??” He falls back onto the floor.

The fuck is right. Oh is it right.

All my worst nightmares come screeching to the forefront of my mind.

All I can do is stare.

“Speak of the fucking devil.” Lester groans from the floor- rubbing his forehead. “You couldn’t have waited another five minutes?”

“I suggest you leave.” The intruder says. “Quickly.”

My words catch in my throat. I don’t know what to say to him. At all. I haven’t the faintest clue.

“Pay me the rest of my cash,” Lester says- somewhat stupidly in my opinion.  
“I see no blood.” The man says, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Didn’t get to that part yet,” Lester says. “But I led you to him so….”

“The money will be wired to your account shortly.” The man says dismissively. “Now leave.”

‘fuck.’ Li hisses. ‘he’s big.’

I too am shocked by his size. He seems to have grown. I know he hasn’t- logically- but when suddenly facing a fear- quite unexpectedly- it’s easy to let the imagination run wild.

He’s standing in a trench coat covering his ‘casual’ outfit. The one he uses to travel. He’s always been large- blending in should be far more difficult than it is for him. His uniform is gray, covering most of his body- unlike the one where he prefers to go shirtless. Come to think of it- I also fight like that from time to time. Guess I picked it up from him.

“You seem surprised.” The intruder’s voice instills a very natural, very well learned, fear in me. It’s debilitating. “Surely you thought I would find you sooner or later. It’s not like you’re very good at hiding.”

‘oh fuck.’ Li whispers. ‘ki ki i told you you would get in trouble! i told you! i told you! i told you!’

Oh my god. I don’t know what to say. I don’t have a single comeback.

“You should see your face.” Lester chuckles.  
I wish he’d just leave.

“It doesn’t usually take me this long to find you.” The intruder continues, casting a side eye at Lester.

“Dude-“

“Shut up.” He growls at Lester with enough force to make the man go silent. It’s a feat in of its own. “Leave.”

A simple order that Lester very quickly follows.

“You’re out of prison.” I try to sound collected.

“You didn’t come to me.” He crosses his arms. “It’s slightly hurtful.” He smirks again. “You can only imagine what life is like inside… seeing as I did everything within my power to keep you out.”

Yea right. I’ve never been caught. It had nothing to do with him. I have no doubt that if I was caught- he’d have left me in jail to teach me a lesson.

“I thought you didn’t want me.” I try to sound cool. Collected. Calm. Cold even. I control my heart rate. I control my breathing. I keep my senses in tune with his body language and sounds. He still gives nothing away. It’s like scenting a statue.

“Well, you did try to kill me- boy.” He smiles, fangs glinting. “One can’t help but take such things to heart.”

“Well you did lie to me Mas-“ I stop- breath hitching. I can’t call him that- not after all the time I’ve spent a free man. I refuse to let myself go back to the role of his slave. His loyal lap dog.

His smile widens. “Old habits, I assume.”

‘oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.’ Li seems to only know one phrase. I could use some support right now… and my buddy is of no help to me.

“What do you want?” I back away from the door.

“A chat,” he says simply- holding his hand up. “I mean no harm.”

“I’d be an idiot to believe that,” I growl.

He smiles again. “That you would. Smart boy.”

“What do you really want?” I back more towards the bedroom. Probably not the best idea- yes. But I want to be away from him.

“You showed the authorities my compound. Your compound.”

“It was hardly mine.” I scoff.

“It was private.” He stares at with a look that I’ve come to fear down to my very bones. “I’m starting to wonder what exactly you’ve told them.”

“Worried about your reputation?” I feel sick.

“One could see it as that.” He agrees, tilting his head to the side. “Obviously you’ve grown to resent me. I can imagine in your head- after your imagined slights- that’s perfectly natural.”

Imagined- “Imagined slights???”

He nods. “Do you have anything to drink? This would go easier if you were to relax. We both know how much you like your libations.”

He’s talking about my libations now? He knows that half of that is his fault! He HAS to know.

“I’m not drinking anything.” I have nowhere to back up to- unless I want to take him into my bedroom. And I don’t want to do that. If he were to corner me- to really corner me- I think I’d go limp. Like a beat kitten.

“Are you sure?” He walks into my kitchen- like he was invited. “You are well stocked.” He opens the fridge. “I see we’re not watching our weight….. after how hard we worked on getting your diet under control.” He tisks.

Dammit, Li. If you hadn’t put that fucking ice cream in there!

‘good buddy… oh shit. oh shit. he’s gonna beat the fuck outta you. we can’t stop him! he’s too big! god, i forgot how big he is! go limp! apologize! give him what he wants! please, ki ki- make him leave!’

“I’m told you’re using as well. Which is to be expected, I suppose. You were always weak-willed.”

“No I’m not.” I snap. “You can’t come into my home and-“ He stands in the doorway to the kitchen- large. Domineering. Frightening. I lose the will to speak.

“Go on.” He motions with his hand. “Tell me off. Tell me how horrible I made your life. With all the privileges I gave you. The money, the experiences, the training- tell me. Tell me how awful of a mentor I am. Me. Who gave you everything you’ve come to hold so dear.”

“You used me.” Is all I can think to say.

“Did I?” He says- suddenly disinterested.

“As a pawn.” My back is against the wall.

“Call it as you like.” He says smoothly. “I can’t stop you from skewing what happened to fit your victim narrative you’ve created.” he motions to me. “Getting along well?” He changes the subject entirely. “I’m told you’re rather close with your ‘sister’.”

“Leave her alone,” I growl.

He smiles. “Struck a nerve, did I boy?”

“I’m serious.” I take a step forward.

‘careful ki ki.’ Li warns.

“Leave her alone.”

“It’s not her I’m after.” He says- almost pleasantly. “She’s got a .. daughter. A clone. However she’s classifying it.” He waves his hand through the air, dismissing the notion. “She’d do rather well. A good bit older than you were… but girls are so much more malleable than boys are. With the right pressure…”

“Stop it.” I hiss.

“Everyone has a breaking point.” He says. “Yours.. so easy to find.”

“I was a child,” I say lowly.

“Even when you were grown…. like now. Your little… life you’ve made for yourself. Falling back into the very same habits you would scold me for ‘forcing’ you into.”

“I do them by choice now. No one’s torturing me if I refuse.” I take a step back again.

“Where are you going?” He grins. “Taking me to your chambers? What do you hope to accomplish in there- one wonders. Or… is this another old habit of yours? To appease me.”

“If you know my habits so well, then you shouldn’t have to ask.”

“Too true.” He chuckles. “If you want me to fuck you- boy- you have only to ask.”  
“I don’t want you anywhere near me.” I spit.

“You’re leaning on that door… dying to leave. You know I’ll follow you. You know it.. you count on it. There’s nothing in that room that can stop me. There’s nothing in this room that could stop me. This whole task is pointless.” he pauses. “That’s what you’re counting on. Even now- subconsciously- you’re giving me control. You like when I’m in control. You crave my being in control. You know I can force you down and take you… part of you likes that. Part of you will always like that. I know you play out at least one rape fantasy a week. Old habits again?”

“You admit it was rape,” I say cooly.

“Ah ha.” He holds up a finger. “That word is so meaningless.”

“Unless you’ve been raped,” I say quietly.

“Please. You heal. It made you strong.”

“It-“

“You learned how to manipulate through it. My methods were quite thorough. Nothing was left to chance. You were taught how to handle all emotional minefields. Someone as… attractive as yourself would have been raped anyway at some point or another. I beat them to the bullet. I taught you how to handle the situation when it arose. And when it did arise- when it was not planned- you did beautifully as I recall.”

“You can’t justify my numerous assaults by saying ‘it would have happened anyway’ !” I snap. “You hurt me to hurt me.” I shake my head. “You didn’t do it to make me strong. You did it to fulfill your own desires! You wanted me- so you took me. You didn’t care how old I was. You didn’t care what it did to me. You didn’t care. It was just something you did. Because I was yours. You’re perverted. You’re sick. You’re-“

“I made you strong.” He hisses. “How are you to blame my methods when you’ve done nothing but reap the rewards from them?”

I.. don’t know how to respond to that. At all.

“I’m not ‘sick’- you’re weak.” He continues. “A weak little boy who would have starved in the streets had I not interfered.”

“You ripped me from my mother’s-“

“Your DEAD mother’s womb.” He says. “Without me- you wouldn’t be here.”

“She’s only dead because of you!” I snarl.

“Oh, you poor thing. People die. It happens.”

“She was murdered! Under your orders!” I snarl.

“And? She would have died anyway. What did you think- that she would love you? That she would care for you? One hint of your mutation and she would have left. Just like she was going to do to your father.”

This is too much.

“I made you strong. Every ‘hardship’ you endured shaped into what you are today. You owe me-“

“What I am today??? I’m sleeping with people for money! I don’t have any romantic relationships! I can’t connect with people! You wounded me for LIFE.”

“You don’t need any of that nonsense.” He growls. “No one does. It’s trivial. To want power-“

“Power that you never intended for me to have,” I say lowly.

He pauses for a long minute. “This is more of your victim narrative. Oh poor you. Such horrible things have happened to you. Such hardships. You can’t possibly be expected to function. And why? Because of me. Because I’m a convenient person you can blame anytime anything goes wrong with your life. Have you ever considered that your life is in shambles because you failed to do what you were meant to? You are to blame. Your weakness is to blame. If you had been strong- you wouldn’t have been raped. If you had been strong- you wouldn’t have been tortured. If you had been strong- none of any of the ‘bad’ things that happened to you would have happened to you. Excuse me for seeing your weakness and calling it’s what it was. You are not a victim. You are a fool. You have no right to claim the term of ‘victim’. You have no right to bitch and moan about how awful your life was. You know nothing because you are nothing. Do you understand? You are worthless. You are beneath everyone. So you make yourself feel better by spreading lies about me. About your upbringing. About your ‘hardships’. You are weak. You are powerless. I should have abandoned you a long time ago.” He pauses. “So no. I’m not sorry for what I’ve done to you. You owe me. You owe me your very life. You are here because of me. You breathe because of my will and persistence. And if you continue with your little ‘victim’ mentality- I shall show you what it means to be a victim. Give you something to really cry about.”

Maybe I do have a victim’s narrative. Maybe I’m-

‘ no ki ki.’ Li says. ‘ he raped you. repeatedly. don’t let him make you doubt yourself. he did it on purpose. not to train you- to hurt you. repeatedly. remember? how much it hurt? how he didn’t have a reason? he just did it. because he’s a bastard.’

I can’t claim to be a victim. I’m not.

He made me-

‘he hurt you.’ Li insists. ‘and he’s doing it again. he’s getting in your head to make you feel bad. you know he does this.you have a right to claim to be a victim because you are a victim. he is an abuser.he is your abuser. don’t let him fool you. he’s a bastard. tell him he’s a bastard! stand up for yourself! you can do this! i know you can!

Li’s right- for once.

“You’re such a bastard.” Is out of my mouth before I can stop it. My fear sets in as soon as I see it register across his face.

“Come again?”

That was foolish. That was too brave. That was too... stupid.

I’m going to be beaten for sure now. In my own home. How.... hurtful. It’s a case of adding insult to injury.

“Nothing,” I say quickly, trying to back peddle. “It was nothing.”

“No-I think you called me something. Bastard- was it?”

Thanks a lot, Li. Once again his stupid ideas are getting me into trouble. Why did I even listen to him? Obviously it’s not a good idea. Li has the mind of a child- in some sense. He knows nothing about how these situations work. If I remember correctly he was never around for the punishments. Just the actions that led up to them.

What a smart move for me to make. Taking the advice of my imaginary friend when faced with a figure from my past who has the ability to ruin me and the lives of several people around me.

God. I’m an idiot.

I’m such an idiot.

I should have known better.

All I can do is try to heal the damage before this gets out of hand.

‘um maybe that was a bad idea....’ Li says. ‘he looks kinda mad.... maybe it’s best to try and get him to leave?’ Li shrinks into the bedroom.

I have nowhere else to back up to. I’m stuck with him.

“Of course- an insult wasn’t completely unexpected, I suppose. I did have your psychotic pet track you down for me. How eager he was. He must really hate you.”

“The feeling is mutual,” I respond dryly.

“I see.” he crosses his arms. “You have two options, Daken. Two. I’m being quite kind.”

“Which are?” I ask shakily.

“Stop telling people what I did to you.” He says. “It’s a lie. It’s a lie from a disobedient, selfish, child who wants to spit in the face of everything he’s been given in life.”

“And the other option?” My head is spinning.

He’s giving me a way to get out of this? To make him leave?

All I have to do is never tell anyone about what he did. To cover up his tracks and let him go. It shouldn’t be that hard.

“I think you know the other option. It’s the same option that’s always been there. The rules are still as they ever were. You do not get to walk away from me. There is no escape. I made you. I can break you just as easily.”

I stay silent.

“You don’t like those options?” He asks. “Fine. I’ll give you a list of demands then. Which you will have no choice but to meet.”

Fuck.

“I’ll have the girl.” He says. “I’ll be charitable. I’ll let you pick which one.”

My stomach is in knots.

“The younger is obviously preferred. But... if you wish to save a child from the same fate you faced... if you wish to do something ‘heroic’ for once in your life- if you’ve been so deluded by that at this point-... you’d let me have your sister.”

Let him have my sister?

“Or.... something else in the ways of an option- you come with me. Your sisters will be safe. Your friends will be safe. All you need to do is serve me. Like you were born to do.”

“Me?” My heart is in my throat.

He nods. “Of course, it will take a while to retrain you.... but the effort may be worth the end result. Serve me. It’s what you were meant for. It’s ALL you were meant for. And you know it. Serve me and no one has to get hurt.”

Serve him?

“Don’t spit in the face of a good deal.” He says. “You’ll not get another. I could easily take all three of you. But, I’m trying to be civil and discrete. If your younger sister goes missing, with her title in mind, I’m sure some sort of x-men are going to come looking for her. On that occasion I’ll offer her the same deal- between her daughter and yourself. And we can both guess as to whom she would pick.”

She’d pick me.

She wouldn’t want Gabby to go through any more than she’s already been through. I understand that. It hurts- but I understand it.

“So what’s it going to be?” He says. “Your sister or her clone?”

‘careful ki.’ Li says. ‘this is a trick.’

It is a trick. It has to be a trick. He’s not giving me a choice. He may not even really be going after them.

But then- those files at the compound... and he knows about Gabby. Not a lot of people know about her as of yet. Laura’s keeping it on a need to know basis so she can keep her safe.

The thought of Gabby in his hands.... what he could do to her. What he did to me. It’s too much.

But then Laura... I couldn’t wish that on her. I couldn’t. I couldn’t wish that on anyone.

There’s no correct answer. And he knows that.

The very thought makes me angry.

He’s in my home- doing this to me like I’m a child. Giving me ‘demands’. I have some demands myself- the first being that gets the fuck out of my house and never comes back. The second being that he comes nowhere near me or my family again. I know it’s a lot to ask for... but....

“Are you going to meet my demands?” He questions. “I’m still awaiting your answer.”

Meet his demands? I don’t think so.

“Fuck you,” I growl. “You can’t have either of them. Or me. You can leave.” I point to the door.

‘that’a a boy ki ki! you tell him!” Li punches the air. ‘you’ve got this!”

“A foolish choice.” He moves quicker than I can block, grabbing me by the throat and slamming me into the wall outside my bedroom. “Let’s reconsider our options- shall we? Before someone gets hurt.”

I can’t breathe. I can’t think. His hand around my throat, squeezing my windpipes, bring back thousands of memories. Not a single one of them good.

Once again I’m regretting my foolish decisions. It’s not fair that I keep making these mistakes. You think I’d know better by now. But... apparently I do not. And I’m only making it worse for myself.

“Stop telling your foolish little lies.” He hisses. “Stop leading S.H.I.E.L.D to my compounds. And if you even think of setting foot in Rome you will suffer. Do you understand?”

Li’s been quiet during this exchange. I think he’s scared.

He squeezes my throat, clawed fingers digging into my flesh in a manner I know well leave marks. “Do you understand?” He growls.

I can’t move. I can’t talk.

I weakly kick out at him, nailing him in the gut.

“Obstinate fool.” He growls, taking me forward by the neck and then slamming my head through the drywall. It hurts, but I’m too stubborn to pass out.

He lets go of my neck and lets me slide down the wall, going as far as to turn his back on me. He knows I won’t attack. He knows.

“There are so many things I can do to you.” He says, back still turned to me. “I could slowly kill off all your friends and family- I did it to your father for years. I could beat you. I could torture you. I could rape you if I so pleased.” He turns around. “But I’m trying to be civil.” He crouches down in front of me. “Can we be civil?”

I jerkily nod.

He smiles, making me shudder. “Don’t go to Rome.” He says. “Don’t contact Remus in any way shape or form.”

Remus.... he’s scared of her.

“Or I will come back.” He threatens. “And I will drag your darling ‘sister’s’ with me. And I will drown them while you watch.”

My heart is frozen.

“And then fuck you on their corpses.” He says.

I can’t respond.

“Like that boy...” He says, smiling cruelly. “You remember the one, I’m sure.”

I do.

“You were.... sixteen... seventeen?” He says. “Which was it?”

“Fifteen,” I whisper.

“Ah.” He nods. “The price for disobedience is high. And I don’t think you’ve got it in you anymore.”

He’s.... not wrong.

“You hate me.” He says. “After all I’ve done for you. You let your rage blind you. Again. Foolish as you ever were. Did you really think you could plot against me? Did you really think that you got to walk away from me so easily? Your father cannot fight your battles for you- can he?” He smirks. “No.... he can’t get rid of me. You can’t get rid of me. My sister cannot get rid of me. Involving her will lead you down a road you do not want to be on- I assure you.”

“You’re scared,” I whisper. “She scares you.”

His face is colder than it was previously. “I. Fear. Nothing.” He slashes my face, blinding me in one eye. Blood falls to the carpet.

“She scares you,” I say weakly, holding my hand over my eye to catch the blood. “She’s got something on you. You’re running from her.”

Something flicks across his face- an emotion I’ve rarely seen on him- before he settles into a smirk. “I will teach you the meaning of fear.” He says. He stands up and walks to my door, locking it. “Stand up.”

My body jerks as it tries to comply but I stop it.

“Stand up.” He growls.

I shake my head.

“At this point I’m starting to think you’re just stupid.” He smirks. “You know you can’t beat me. You know I’ll have my way. You know it. And yet... here you are. You’ve obviously acquired some kind of mental defect in your absence.” He crosses his arms. “And you were always such a smart boy.”

I don’t know what to do. I can’t follow his orders... but it seems I’m going to get hurt no matter what I do. I need to do something quick. Something that will let me escape this without any more bloodshed.

“Get up.” He growls. “Go to your room.”

“My room?”

He nods. “I’ve a lesson to teach you.”

Oh no.

Oh, fuck no.

“Get out,” I say quietly.

“Get out? Now? Before we’ve had any fun?” He smirks. “I don’t think so.”

His hand reaches down as he grabs me back the throat again- lifting me to my feet and throwing me through the door into my bedroom.

I land on my right arm and shoulder- trying to scramble to my feet before he can jump me.

It’s messy, but I roll to my feet and take a defensive stance.

“Go limp.” He growls. “I promise to make this quick.”

Like fuck he will.

“Get out,” I say, a little stronger than before, gathering my wits about me.

“No.” He smirks, stalking across the room towards me.

‘i got him ki!’ Li sticks his leg- as if to trip him. He doesn’t trip- he walks straight through him. I can’t help but stare at my friend wondering just what he is... if he can move me- but not Romulus. ‘oops.’ Li frowns. ‘let me try again.’ This time, he jumps on his back- wrapping his arm around his neck. Romulus either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. I don’t which of the two at the moment.

“I’m thinking of all the ways I could send you the proper message.” He says. “Of all the things you fear.... and I’ve come up with so many options that honestly I don’t know which to try.” He smiles, flashing fang. “However, we can forgo all these horrible outcomes if you do the following; stop telling stories, stop leading them to my locations, don’t contact Remus, and... decide which of the girls I’m to take. It’s really rather simple.”  
“Fuck you,” I growl lowly. “I will tell who I want to tell, I will show them what I want to show them, I will contact Remus if I want to, and you can have neither of the girls.”

“Oh?” He moves a step closer. “Pity. You’ve chosen to be an idiot. Again. I honestly expected better.”

My face has healed. Blood is dried in a tacky mess on my cheeks and chin but I don’t move to wipe it away.

“Leave,” I growl.

“Or what- you’ll make me? You don’t have it in you.”

Li lets go of his neck, stealing my attention away. ‘i’ll kick him in the dick!’ Li says, going around to the front of him.

I quickly shake my head.

‘why not? he’s got one. it’ll hurt! i’ll kick him in the dick and we can run- like we did before.’

I shake my head again, trying to tell him what a horrible idea that is.

“What are you looking at?” He growls.

“Uh-“

‘take that!’ Li kicks him and draws some of his attention, a mild smirk.

“What was that?” he barely felt it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“A force. A push almost. You’ve made a friend. A telekinetic perhaps?” He smiles. “They’re hiding from me... you’ve lured me into your bedroom for a trap. Sneaky bastard you are.”

“No-“

He moves past me to the bathroom, looking inside.

“None of your little friends?”

“No one is here.” I can’t believe this is happening- again.

“I don’t believe that.” He growls. “Send them out. I’ll gut them quickly.”

“There’s no one,” I say again.

He comes back into the room.

“Who is in here.” He demands.

“No one,” I say.

“I’ll not play this game with you - boy. You know I don’t like your games.”

“I don’t have anyone here,” I say again. “You can scent the apartment- there’s no one.”

He frowns. “I felt a force.”

“You felt wrong.”

“I’m never wrong.” He glares. “But... there doesn’t seem to be..” he stops. “Ah. I understand.”

“You... do?”

He nods. “You’re forcing feelings onto me. Trying to make me paranoid and throw me off guard.”

I look a Li who in turn shrugs.

“You’re right.” I lie. “I am.”

“Then stop.” He growls. “I’m not leaving. Not until I’m done.”

Li kicks him again, and he stares at where the man would be standing. “There is something wrong here.” He growls. “I intend to discover what that is.”

Uh... I don’t think he can. I don’t think anyone can guess about Li. It’s too far-fetched.

‘K ki ki this bastard’s not going down.’ Li growls. ‘ do something!’

I take a moment to consider my options before precisely kicking him in the face while he’s distracted.

His expression is borderline comical.

“You ingrate.” He snarls, swiping his leg out and knocking me to the floor. “I will show you pain. I will show you hurt. I will show you fear- you will give into my demands like you always have. This rebellious phase as drawn its last breath.”  
I can’t fight him... I’ve got to get away.

I glance at Li who nods.

‘ we’re running- right?’ He asks.

I nod. We’re running. I’ll throw him off balance and get the fuck out of here.

It’s my only choice. I’ll grab the phone and run for it- call Laura, get her and Gabby safe. Not come back to this apartment ever again. Stay the fuck away from Lester for a time until I know he can’t track me down... it’s a solid plan.

I don’t know where I’ll go on foot- but I’ll go somewhere. Somewhere he can’t track me down. At least not easily.

“Get on your bed.” He orders. “Or else I will hurt you far more than I originally intended.”

“I doubt it,” I growl, rushing him and driving my claws into his stomach.

He snarls and pulls my claws out, leaving his face open for another swipe- right at the eye- momentarily blinding him.

That’s all I need. Him off his guard.

“Grab the phone!” I yell to Li, who quickly complies.

“Wh-what are you talking about-“

I slash him again.

“Run!”

Li rushes the phone to me and we take off running- me thinking fast enough to grab my car keys only to remember that it’s not in the parking lot.

‘wallet.’ Li passes it over to me. ‘ now run!’

I yank the door open after fumbling with the locks and take off running down the hall. We take the stairs, the sound of him chasing us filling my ears.

I have to get a cab. Somewhere he can’t follow my scent.

When Li and I are on the street- I run, still barefooted and covered in blood, to the next street over- trying to hail a cab.

I keep looking over my shoulder- to find no one there. I know he can track me- logically I know that. But he’s not here. He’s not anywhere.

I’ve flagged down a cab when there’s a gasp behind me. “Good heavens.”

I turn to see my party from earlier... my father included.

“Boy... what’s wrong with your face.” Logan says.

For once I’m happy to see him. “Logan! You’ve got to-“

“I’ve got to do nothing.” He interrupts. “What’s wrong with you? Where’s the rest of your clothes? And your shoes? And-“

“Romulus was in my apartment.... he’s chasing me,” I say quickly. “I’ve got to get out of the city. Somewhere safe. Can you help me?” It hurts to ask.

“Holy fuck.” Logan curses. “Come on.” He grabs me by the arm and pulls me down the street, to a parking lot. Throwing me in the back of his truck. “Come on darlin’.” He says to Storm. “We gotta go.”

Storm quickly boards the truck and stares behind us. “I’ve yet to see Romulus in person... but I’m decently sure that that is him.” She points behind us where he’s made it out onto the street.

“Fuck.” Logan slams the truck into drive and pulls out onto the busy street- cutting several people off.

Fuck! Li! I forgot to-

‘i’m here, ki ki.’ He pops into existence beside me. ‘we’re safe.’

For now.

Logan speeds out of the city- pulling onto some back road and continues to drive like a bat out of hell.

‘ we’re safe if your dad doesn’t kill us first.’ Li sounds queasy. ‘ tell him to slow down! I doubt the bastard has chased us this far.’

“Logan, I think we’re safe.” Storm is reading Li’s mind.

“Why’s he chasing you?” Logan doesn’t slow down.

“He doesn’t want me to talk. Or contact Remus.”

“How’d he know you were trying to find Remus?”

“I don’t know,” I say honestly.

Someone has to have told him.

“Did he say anything else?”

I nod. “He wants to take Laura... or Gabby. He’s not sure which one.”

“Fuck.” He turns to Ororo. “Call Laura. Tell her to bring Gabby and meet me at the school.”

Ororo dutifully dials the number and does as she’s told. Wonderful.

“You-“ he looks at me in the rearview. “You stay with me. You can’t go out on your own- not with him tracking you.”

“Logan-“

“You’ll be safe with me.” He says. “And you’re gonna stay. That’s it. If I have to tie you to a chair- I will. You will stay with me.”

I hang my head.

I didn’t want to involve him... but...

‘ it’s not a bad idea, ki.’ Li says. ‘ i promise to be good. no one will know i’m there.’

“Fuck.” I exhale.

“We’ll get you some clothes,” he says.

This is the second time he’s mentioned my clothing. I look down and realize that’s because I’m in my underwear. Designer they may be- it’s not a good look.

“Oh.”

“Got you outta bed- huh?” He says. “You’ll be safe with me. We can both go to Rome. We’ll take one of our jets.”

I just nod.

He glances at me again. “Wipe the blood off your face.” He says. “You’ll scare the kids.”

Li leans over and rubs my face- I have to push him off. “Not now,” I whisper growl.

‘ you’re dirty.’ He says defensively.

“Not now.”I hiss.

I notice Ororo staring at me, but I pretend not to see her.

“You’re having a bad day,” Ororo says. “I’m glad we were still in the city.”

For once- so am I.

“Yea well he’s safe now,” Logan says. “That’s all that matters.”

For now.

“What if he tracks us to the school?”

“He can’t get in my school,” Logan smirks. “Don’t worry about it.”

That’s... cocky. I’m sure he can find a way. But... I don’t mention it at the moment. Logan needs to think I’m compliant completely. In case I need to do some manipulating to get him to do something I need to him down the road.

I close my eyes and lean my head back against the seat.

Li reaches over and takes my hand between his cold ones. ‘ i’m proud of you, ki ki.’ He says. ‘ i know you were scared.’

I glance over at him- he’s smiling wide, big blue eyes shining.

I nod to him.

‘ we’re gonna be safe now. the bastard won’t come near your dad. he said so.’

Li believe people too eagerly... but it’s a nice thought.

For now, I let that nice thought lull me into a sense of security. Closing my eyes and relaxing as much as I can.

‘ are you gonna go to sleep?’

I nod.

‘ okay. I i’ll play look out for you.’

“Thanks,” I whisper.

‘anytime buddy.’ he squeezes my hand.

It’s... reassuring.

I slowly begin to let myself doze off. It’s been a long day- after all. And right now I’m feeling pretty secure.

Li starts to hum to himself, lulling me into a deeper sleep.

It’s nice. Nice is good. I’ll take nice.


End file.
